Work From Bed Friday

Amy and Tommy continue their conversation with their dear friend, listener, and seasoned therapist Jeanine Klotzkin. Jeanine introduced the duo to the work of Richard Schwartz through his books, No Bad Parts and You Are The One You've Been Waiting For, the "bookclub" topic of Season 4. What a treat to be in conversation with an IFS-trained therapist who uses the work on a daily basi...

Amy and Tommy welcome dear friend, listener, and seasoned therapist Jeanine Klotzkin to the bed/pod! Jeanine turned the duo on to the work of Richard Schwartz through his books, No Bad Parts and You Are The One You've Been Waiting For, the "bookclub" topic of Season 4. What a treat to be in conversation with an IFS-trained therapist who uses the work on a daily basis! Enjoy this fir...

Amy & Tommy lament the loss of our icons of humanism: Dolly Parton, Gloria Steinem, and Tim Curry before going down a rabbit hole inspired by a quote by Steinem about turning 60. They then jump into Chapter 3 of You Are The One You Have Been Waiting For  by Richard Schwartz, PhD. Neo-exiles figure prominently in their discussion as they try to imagine what theirs might be or might have been. T...

Quiet Divorcing, Quiet Quitting, and how to parent teenagers. So much comes up for Amy and Tommy as they discuss Chapter 2 of You are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard Schwartz, PhD. Also, Amy borrows some ideas and rebuilds them as a new scaffolding for interacting with humans: Attention, Affirm, Ask, Affection. You heard it first on Work From Bed Friday! Mentioned in this Episode:...

Mentioned in this Episode:  Stacey & Paul Martino The Missing Piece  by Stacey and Paul Martino The Miracle Morning   for Transforming Your Relationship  by Stacey and Paul Martino You are the One You've Been Waiting For  by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph. D. Ted Lasso Original Music: Song: Off My Stack Artist: Rick Real and The Warmth Album: Spirit Awards Send us Fan Mail Don't miss the go...

Amy & Tommy launch into Season 4 with a discussion of the introduction to You are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph. D. Amy feels vindicated in her general suspicion of couples therapy and Tommy realizes that their before times marriage was at least not as bad as the hot mess marriage of the case study in the intro. Looking forward to next week: Chapter 1! Mention...

In Part II of their Season 3 finale, Amy & Tommy discuss No Bad Parts , by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph. D. The book was recommended by a friend, listener, and therapist and serves as a jumping off point for Season 4 where they will discuss his followup book, You are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships. Can't wait for Season 4! Menti...

Back from a midsummer hiatus, Amy & Tommy attempted to close out season 3 with a juicy episode on No Bad Parts by Richard Schwarz, Ph. D, but end up spending so much time on their Titillating Tidbit and Let's Make it a Threesome segments that they had to break it into two episodes! Enjoy! Wifehouse  by Sonya Walger Butter  by Asako Yuzuki Moby Dick  by Herman Melville The Ice Storm Your F...

This episode was meant to discuss the conclusion to Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turned out to be a teeny, tiny non-chapter. But not to fear! Tommy and Amy pounce on a recent New Yorker article entitled, "The Billionaires' Vagina Club" and manage to turn it into their longest episode ever—the appetizer becomes the main course!  Mentioned in this Episode : "The Bi...

In this last chapter of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, Amy & Tommy discuss the the practice of happiness, how Nagoski misses the idea of play, and how we are all swimming in a patriarchal hot tub. Also, cross-body bags and DECIDING. To decide is to educate your monitor. It totally works. Mentioned in this Episode: "What Science Knows About Grief" in  The New Yorker DTF St. Lou...

Are all orgasms created equal? What in the actual world? Tommy and Amy discuss the finer points of Chapter 8 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are. Actually, they discuss ALL the points! There are spicy details not to be missed, including a mansplained orgasm. For reals. Mentioned in this Episode: The Husbands  by Holly Gramazio Indian Heaven Come As You Are  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. "I kno...

Finally! In Chapter 7 of Come AsYou Are , Emily Nagoski. Ph. D. gets to DESIRE: spontaneous desire and responsive desire and desire threshholds. Mind. Blown. Normalizing high threshold responsive desire is life changing and relationship saving. Also, the chasing dynamic. Wow.  Amy comes up with her favorite metaphor to date: the pleasure pool. Fill it up, keep it full, sparkling, and clean, and di...

Amy & Tommy make it to Chapter 6 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are and dive into more of the science of sex (what a fun job!) and more of Nagoski's metaphors (THIS is a restaurant.)—both of which are a little bit mind-blowing. Becoming aware of the dangerous sexual myths embedded in our culture is mind-blowing too. Be prepared. Also, turns out Tommy is a good feminist and Amy is a b...

Our culture plants many of the weeds that choke our sexual garden. In this chapter of Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D., Amy and Tommy discuss cultural context and the "clusterfuck of mixed messages" that effect our sexual well being.  Fifty Shades of Gray  by E L James Come As You Are  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. John Craigie I Feel Pretty  starring Amy Schumer Self-Compassion  by K...

Coming off a celebration of their magical 22nd wedding anniversary, Amy & Tommy dive into a rollicking discussion of Chapter 4 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are. Mentioned in this Episode: The Sentinel Hotel Come As You Are  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. Burnout  by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. and Amelia Nagoski, DMA The Lents Bridge Project Original Music: Song: Women Only Like Me For My Mind Arti...

The most important sex organ is...the brain!! Even so, Amy & Tommy can't help but start with the clitoris and the fact that it's been largely ignored until the 90s. The NINETEEN NINETIES.  Soon enough they move on to Chapter 3 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are , the author-described "nerdy chapter," chock full of brain science. Don't worry, Amy & Tommy find s...

Amy & Tommy begin to connect the dots: have our favorite stories from childhood and teenhood shaped our romantic and sexual selves? Emily Nagoski explains as much in Chapter 2 of Come As You Are. Nagoski first blows the mind with the explanation of the dual-control model: we've all got sexual accelerators and sexual brakes. And not all of us are Lamborghinis! But then, there's CONTEX...

Baby gherkin clits and shameful pudendums. Shleimige flüssigkeiten and pillow talk. Hard AND wet. It's all here in Amy & Tommy's discussion of Chapter 1 of Emily Nagoski's groundbreaking book, Come As You Are . Beginning at the beginning, In Chapter 1, Nagoski guides her readers through genital development from the point of conception through adulthood. We all have the same part...

What IS our human-ness? Is it the SOUL? Or is it the BODY? What is it that reminds us that we aren't supercomputers and that AI-generated bots aren't human? Amy & Tommy dig into that question as they open up Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are for in-depth discussion. Amy confuses the beloved San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen with an artist at the paper, Warren Goodrich. N...

Welcome to Season 3 of Work From Bed Friday! Inspired by the feminist podcasting duo Amanda Montei and Tracy Clark-Flory of Dire Straights, Amy & Tommy try an AI experiment—in the name of research, of course. Eye-opening, spicy, fascinating, and ultimately disturbing, they discuss the experience candidly, wondering what effect this technology will have on our future love, sex, and connection a...

Amy & Tommy welcome their first podcast guest EVER—Stasia Savasuk! Stasia is a somatic coach and the founder of Stasia's Style School and other empowering courses for women. Stasia first introduced Amy to All About Love by bell hooks. Stasia's transformative experience with the book is what inspired Amy to give it to Tommy which ultimately led to the breakthrough in their marriage. ...

Closing in on the end of Season 2, Amy & Tommy discuss I Love Dick , the 1997 cult feminist classic by Chris Kraus. Lucky for them, the book was made into a fabulous television series in 2016. They discuss both of these works, digging into themes of art, desire, femininity, the patriarchy. The conversation is long and rambling and juicy—following Chris Kraus's lead! Mentioned in this Epis...

What would bell hooks say about AI? Can we imagine her angels as AI bots? How does this chapter's discussion of The Divine figure into the overall philosophy of love? Amy & Tommy jump into all the big questions: the Divine, the cosmos, the Tarot. And AI. This episode discusses the final chapter of All About Love by bell hooks and leads into the completion of Season 2! Stay tuned for a bri...

Intending to start the episode with a discussion of Esther Perel's AI therapy session, Amy & Tommy soon realize that it's a can of worms that need to be opened at a later date! Instead, they remember a favorite podcast episode and the birth of their crowdsourcing efforts: Does Size Matter? Then, it's on to Chapter 12 of All About Love by bell hooks and a discussion of healing an...

Amy & Tommy celebrate their first "pod-iversary" AND the completion of 50 full length episodes with some bubbly, some memories of their first year podcasting, and later, messages from happy listeners. But never fear, they have not forgotten about Chapter 11 of All About Love by bell hooks. The chapter is entitled "Loss: Loving into Life and Death" and Amy and Tommy dive rig...