The Direction Podcast

What should parents do when they think their child needs therapy, but their child refuses to go? Duncan talks with Direction therapist Erin about why forcing an unwilling teenager into treatment can backfire, how to encourage therapy without turning it into a power struggle, and what to do when a child doesn’t like their therapist. They also discuss when safety concerns require parents to step in—...

After working through each of Direction’s Leadership Principles, Duncan steps back to consider how they fit together. Good parenting often means balancing ideas that seem contradictory: show up without taking over, support your child while allowing failure, give up control while knowing when to intervene. He closes the series with thoughts on why parenting is so difficult, what the principles are...

Parents can enable unhealthy behavior by doing too much—or sometimes by doing too little. Duncan discusses how everyday parenting decisions can reinforce habits, why “practice makes permanent,” and how doing things for children that they can do themselves may make independence harder. The challenge is knowing when to step in, when to step back, and what habits you’re helping your child build for t...

When should parents actually take away a child’s phone? Duncan and Val talk through the difference between using a phone as punishment and restricting it for a reason directly related to sleep, functioning, or safety. They discuss phones in bedrooms, late-night use, screen time, and why the ultimate goal isn’t simply controlling access—it’s helping kids learn to use technology responsibly.

Parenting isn’t only about your relationship with one child. You’re also responsible for the health of the family as a whole. Duncan discusses why good leadership sometimes means saying no, allowing children to share in responsibilities, and intervening when one person’s behavior begins to negatively affect everyone else. The goal isn’t to put a child’s needs aside, but to teach them an essential...

Conflict with your kids is inevitable. Turning that conflict into a battle isn’t. Duncan discusses why adversarial dynamics can undermine a parent’s authority over time, why teenagers are especially prone to pushing back, and how parents can hold limits without getting pulled into unnecessary fights. The goal isn’t to avoid disagreement or keep your child happy—it’s to preserve a relationship in w...

Getting your child out of bed can become one of those small daily battles that somehow takes over the whole morning. Duncan and Val discuss when waking up should become a child’s responsibility, why allowing smaller failures now can prevent bigger ones later, and how parents can support kids without taking over. They also tackle the harder situations—when a child’s struggle affects siblings, schoo...

Most good parenting involves knowing when to step back—but sometimes parents need to take charge. Duncan explains the idea of a “train track moment”: a situation where safety is at stake and there isn’t time to negotiate, deliberate, or worry about making your child unhappy. He discusses how to distinguish healthy noninterference from necessary intervention, and why decisive action during a genuin...

Duncan talks with occupational therapist Val about how autism is recognized and diagnosed, what experienced clinicians notice that formal testing may miss, and why some children—particularly girls—can be difficult to identify. They also explore conditions that can look like autism, why diagnoses have risen so dramatically, and where the evidence ends and clinical experience and opinion begin.

Part of growing up is learning to take responsibility—for everyday tasks, decisions, mistakes, and ultimately your own life. Duncan discusses why parents often transfer responsibility too slowly, why diagnoses and developmental challenges should be treated as factors rather than automatic excuses, and why children need opportunities to try, fail, and try again. The goal isn’t responsibility for it...

Rewards and punishments can change a child’s behavior—but does that change last? Duncan talks with Direction therapist Erin about why carrots and sticks often work in the short term but fail to build lasting change. They discuss natural consequences, the difference between control and authority, and why a strong parent-child relationship may be the most durable influence a parent has.

Autism is diagnosed more often than ever, but there is still enormous confusion about what it actually is—and what it isn’t. In the first of a series on autism, I sit down with Direction occupational therapist Valerie Bowles to work through the question from the ground up. Using the DSM criteria as a loose framework, we discuss social communication, masking, eye contact, relationships, repetitive...

Many of the parenting ideas I’ve shared over the years didn’t begin with me. They came from countless conversations with my father, psychiatrist Dr. David Gill, who in turn learned many of them from his own father. In this first conversation together, we discuss what decades of psychiatry and parenting have taught him about raising independent children, why “If you can’t say no, you can’t say yes,...

One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to step in—and when to step back. In this episode, I introduce two principles that help children become capable, independent adults: maximum support, minimum interference and allow your child to fail. Using the simple example of learning to ride a bike, we explore why children grow through experimentation, why natural consequences are often the...

What do elephants, wolves, bears, chimpanzees, and even house cats have in common with healthy human parenting? In this episode, therapist Erin examines the surprising ways animals prepare their young for independence—and how those same principles can help us become better parents. From secure attachment and emotional regulation to play, boundaries, and gradually increasing responsibility, nature...

A common parental complaint is, “I’ve lost control of my child.” But what if control was never the goal? In this episode, I explore the difference between controlling a child’s behavior and earning the kind of authority that creates lasting influence. I talk about how power naturally fades as children grow, why control battles are counterproductive, and how the parents who have the greatest impact...

“Doctor, if this were your child, would you prescribe medication?” In this episode, I talk about my approach to one of the most important decisions families face. Rather than viewing medication as inherently good or bad, I explain why every treatment decision comes down to weighing risks, benefits, and how much a child’s symptoms are interfering with their ability to function and thrive. I discuss...

Parents have never had more access to parenting advice—but has it actually made parenting easier? In this episode, I talk with Val Boles and take a closer look at some of today’s most common parenting recommendations, from reading to your child every day and avoiding the word “no” to praising effort instead of intelligence and teaching executive functioning. We explore how research is often oversi...

Parents spend a great deal of time telling their children how they hope they’ll behave. But children are often paying far more attention to what we do than to what we say. In this episode, Duncan Gill explores the leadership principles of Lead by Example, Not Decree, and Be a Positive Role Model. He discusses why children learn most effectively through observation, how everyday habits shape a chil...

If Duncan had to choose the single most important principle of good parenting, it would be this: show up.   In this episode, he explores why a parent’s presence is one of the most powerful influences in a child’s life. Drawing on clinical experience and examples from families facing difficult challenges, Duncan discusses attachment, role models, co-parenting, and the importance of remaining availa...

In this episode, Duncan introduces the Direction Leadership Principles, a framework used at Direction Behavioral Health to guide parenting, therapy, leadership, and personal growth. Drawing on ideas developed over years of working with children, adolescents, families, and treatment teams, Duncan outlines the core principles that underlie the Direction approach. The discussion explores how to appro...

In this episode, Duncan Gill is joined by Erin White, therapist, former educator, and parenting group leader at Direction Behavioral Health. Together they explore a surprisingly simple message for many parents: sometimes the best thing you can do is stop doing so much.   Erin discusses how well-intentioned adults often over-help, over-direct, and over-protect children in ways that unintentionally...

In this episode, Duncan Gill is joined by Valerie Bowles, OTR/L, Clinical Director at Direction Behavioral Health Associates. Val discusses occupational therapy, how childhood has changed in the age of smartphones and constant supervision, and why she believes modern children need more opportunities for risk, independence, and unstructured play.   The conversation explores everything from climbing...

In this introductory episode, Duncan Gill discusses the goals of The Direction Podcast and the experiences that shaped it. Drawing on more than two decades of work with children, adolescents, families, schools, and psychiatric systems, he outlines the themes that will be explored throughout the series.   Topics include parenting, adolescence, child psychiatry, diagnosis, medication, schools, socia...

What is the actual goal of parenting?   Most parents spend enormous amounts of time worrying about grades, behavior, happiness, friendships, anxiety, and countless day-to-day decisions. Yet many never stop to ask a more fundamental question: what are we ultimately trying to accomplish?   In this episode, Duncan Gill explores the idea that the central task of parenting is helping children become in...