The Caring Death Doula

Grief gets policed in quiet, everyday ways and it can make you feel like you have to earn the right to mourn.  I’m working hard to help us push back on that. I talk openly about why this show started, what it took to hit record for the first time, and what it means to hear from listeners who say my words helped them through loss when nothing else did.  I share the turning point that shaped everyth...

Grief doesn’t just hurt, it can silence you, numb you, and make the simplest parts of life feel heavy.  If you’re mourning someone you love, I want you to hear this clearly: I see you, and you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. We make room for the real emotions that show up after loss, from tears to anger to denial, and we talk honestly about how numbness can linger longer than people expect.  I...

Some losses don’t come with funerals, casseroles, or even permission to talk about them.  In this episode we discuss how when a relationship ends but the person is still alive, the grief can feel confusing, isolating, and nonstop, especially when the outside world acts like nothing happened.  The pain is real, heavy, and constant as the year moves through holidays, birthdays, and even just daily a...

In this episode we are discussing the disorienting truth behind estrangement grief, a form of loss that rarely gets casseroles, sympathy cards, or even a patient listener.  I talk about why this pain feels so sharp and lonely, especially when people try to “help” with comments like “at least there’s still hope” or “at least they’re alive,” as if your heart should snap back into place on command. W...

Grief doesn’t politely wait for you to be ready. It shows up after you’ve had a “good” stretch, after you’ve checked the boxes, and sometimes right when you think you finally have a handle on it.  I’m honest about why I’m late getting this out and what it’s like to be hit by grief waves that come from different losses and different angles.  I talk about a reframe that has helped me survive the har...

We remind you that grief is yours, and nobody gets to judge how loud, how long, or how often you feel it.  We talk through why holidays can hurt, how to ground your body when your mind won’t settle, and how to show up for someone who is grieving with simple care.  • grief has no right way, no timeline, no finish line  • love and grief as intertwined realities of being alive  • Fourth of July memor...

In this episode, Frances shows up raw on a hard day and names the numbness that can hit without warning when grief waves roll in.  A quiet morning in the park becomes a reminder that joy can break through in an instant, even when sorrow is still close.  • admitting how grief can flatten energy and motivation  • using nature and stillness to notice what is happening inside  • recognizing “joy waves...

When grief gets judged, that pressure can make you feel even more alone.  In this episode, I’m here to say the quiet part out loud: you matter, and you don’t have to prove your pain to anyone.  If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re grieving “wrong” because you didn’t cry at the funeral, or because you’re crying at random moments weeks, months, or even years later, this one is for you. We talk abo...

Grief makes people uncomfortable, so we try to organize it, timebox it, and rank it. That’s how we end up with the quiet pressure to “be strong,” to stop talking about the person who died, or to act like the funeral is the finish line. I’m pushing back on that mindset and naming what so many of us feel: grief doesn’t follow rules, and it doesn’t owe anyone a schedule. In this episode, we talk abou...

You can be the person who holds everyone together and still be hurting. That tension has been weighing on my heart lately, because so many of us practice “self care” in theory while living out the opposite in real life: we spend our energy serving, comforting, smoothing things over, and staying strong so nobody else has to feel the full weight of the moment. In this episode, we talk about grief su...

I thank you for coming here and making this space a part of your grief journey.  Grief can be loud, or it can be eerily quiet. Either way, it can convince you that you are on your own.  I recorded this message for you to hear  and to hear it clearly : you are not alone, and you do not have to carry grief by yourself.  We stay focused on self-care that actually helps during moments that hit with gr...

Grief has a way of making us disappear from ourselves.  In this episode, we discuss how we stay busy, stay quiet, keep it moving, and hope time will do the work we refuse to touch.  But when nobody talks about grief, we often stuff it down, then it starts leaking out through anger, isolation, overworking, and that constant feeling that something is hanging over us. We take a clear look at what gri...

In this episode,  we discuss how your  body can only carry grief for so long before it starts sending louder signals.  We talk honestly about what it feels like when you’ve been pushing through loss for weeks, months, or years, and the exhaustion is deeper than being overwhelmed. It’s the kind of tired that lives in your bones and your nervous system, and it’s telling you to stop. Again we widen t...

Mother’s Day lands differently when your mom is gone or when motherhood has been shaped by loss.  This episode follows Morher’s Day weekend here in the U.S. and I wanted to honor the place a mother has in our lives. And, to let the women often overlooked by society who long to be mothers know they are seen.  We talk about grief as evidence of love, why it helps to speak plainly about death, and ho...

This episode comes from the thick  envelope from a lawyer that lands in my mailbox and flips my whole day upside down. Inside is news I never expected to learn this way: my aunt has died, and I don’t even know when it happened.  Shock hits first, then my mind does what it has learned to do for a lifetime it reaches for connection. I want to call my dad. Then I remember I can’t, because he died too...

In today’s episode we talk again about children and grief. We discuss how important it is for children to see death as a natural part of life. They need to be part of conversations and hear adults talking.  If talking about death around children makes your chest tighten, you’re not alone and that discomfort is exactly why the conversation matters.  We dig into how children learn what grief “means”...

I’m sitting in a park in my hometown, gently swinging while we talk about something most families stumble through: children and grief. When a divorce hits, a loved one dies, a pet dies, or life changes in the way it can, children are often the easiest to miss not because we don’t love them, but because the adults are barely functioning. If you’ve ever felt guilty for not having the energy to deal...

In this episode, I talk honestly about the days when I’m grieving in more than one way, when words are nonexistent, and when grief whispers, “stay in bed”.  If you’re coping with loss right now, I want you to feel seen and supported.  A simple moment, like sorting a pile in a room and finding a photo of my dad, can open the floodgates. I reflect on how complicated relationships still carry love, h...

Some grief doesn’t get “approved” by the people around you. It shows up when someone says you didn’t know them, didn’t have them long enough, or shouldn’t still be thinking about it.  I share a personal, tender look at that kind of invisible grief, starting with my father-in-law who died just eight months into my marriage, and the ache of knowing my children never got to meet the grandpa who shoul...

Your hand reaches for the phone before your brain catches up. For a split second, it feels perfectly natural to call your dad, your mom, your person and then reality hits, and the grief rushes in. I share a moment that happened to me this morning: that honest, almost comforting impulse to ask my dad a question, followed by the ache of remembering he’s not here to answer.  If you’ve had that experi...

In this episode, we talk about why so many of us hesitate to reach out after someone grieves the death of a loved one and how that silence can grow when weeks turn into months.  Frances makes the case that it is not too late, that your words carry real weight, and that a simple check-in can help someone feel less alone in grief.  • normalising conversations about death, grief, loss and change  • w...

In this episode, I discuss how a book  can be something we look forward to until it suddenly feels like a mirror. I sit down ready to gather grief resources and instead I’m stopped cold by a story that’s too close to home. With my brother-in-law’s death still fresh, the rawness on the page makes me close the cover and cry. And, I have to admit what so many of us think but rarely say out loud: I wa...

A birthday can be a celebration and a gut punch at the same time, especially when it arrives only weeks after a funeral.  Today I’m holding space for my brother in law’s family and anyone staring down a hard date: your loved one’s birthday, an anniversary, the first holidays, or even a small tradition like “the day the pond opens” that used to belong to someone you love.  These milestones don’t ju...

Ever have a day where your heart says not tonight and the world keeps asking anyway? We start right there—at the honest edge of not wanting to show up—and talk about how grief reshapes energy, attention, and appetite for connection. Frances, the Caring Death Doula, invites us to treat that resistance as information, not failure, and to claim the small, life-giving boundary of no when our bodies as...

Grief doesn’t ask if you’re ready. It arrives and sometimes it knocks you flat.  In this episode, I open up about the death of my brother‑in‑law and how the shock unsettled not just my thoughts but my body, even with years of training as a grief educator and death doula. The point isn’t to prove we’re strong; it’s to learn how to be gentle with ourselves when grief hits. I share practical ways to...