The Angry Therapist Podcast

Ever feel like your mind is telling you you're fine, but your body is saying something completely different? You're overwhelmed, constantly on edge, or struggling to slow down. And no matter how many times you tell yourself to relax, you just can't seem to switch off. In today's re-release, I'm revisiting a conversation about how to calm your nervous system, manage stress, and find your way back t...

What does it feel like to return to the country where you were born after 50 years? I'm back in South Korea for the first time since leaving as a child, and the experience has brought up memories, emotions, and parts of my identity I haven't connected with in decades. From exploring Seoul and Busan to rediscovering the food and culture I once felt embarrassed about growing up, I reflect on what it...

What if the hardest chapters of your life are actually setting you up for something you can't see yet? I've been through divorce, lost my home, started over in my fifties, and questioned who I was more times than I can count. And now, looking back, I'm beginning to connect the dots. In this episode, I'm taking you on a walk through Costa Rica to talk about the stories we tell ourselves, how we mak...

At 53, I've realized that some of life's biggest lessons aren't about getting ahead. They're about learning when to take the leap, when to let go, how to love without losing yourself, and how to stop waiting for some future version of your life before you start living. In this episode, I share 12 life lessons that have shaped the way I think about relationships, personal growth, success, and happi...

Resentment rarely comes from one big moment. More often, it builds through the small things we don't talk about: the dishes, the forgotten gestures, the mental load, and the feeling that you're the only one making an effort. I talk about how these everyday frustrations become evidence of deeper hurt, why unresolved conflict makes resentment grow, and how to repair the damage before years of disapp...

What does genuine love actually look like? It may have less to do with how someone makes you feel and more to do with whether you can truly see them, allow them to be themselves, and continue meeting them as both of you change. I also explore what happens when fear of losing someone keeps us from fully enjoying the relationship we have today, how relationships teach us who we are becoming, and the...

We were handed a blueprint for what a “good life” is supposed to look like: fall in love, get married, buy the house, have kids, build a career, and stay together. But what happens when you achieve the life you were supposed to want and realize it doesn’t actually feel like yours? I talk about breaking away from inherited ideas of happiness, questioning the lives we’re maintaining simply because w...

Being in love and loving someone aren’t always the same thing. Being in love can be about chemistry, longing, fantasy, desire, and the way someone makes you feel. But loving someone asks something harder: can you keep seeing who they actually are as they change? Can you stay curious about the person they’re becoming instead of holding them to the version you first fell for? In this episode, I talk...

What happens when one person is willing to grow and the other isn’t, why growth should be an invitation rather than an ultimatum, and why sometimes the most important thing your partner needs from you isn’t perfection — it’s your willingness to lean in. In this episode, I sit down with Bryan Reeves to talk about what changes in the second half of life and why the rules that got us here may not be...

What if the life you spent years trying to build isn’t the life you want anymore? For most of my life, I was trying to arrive somewhere - make more money, build the audience, get another book deal, buy the house, become somebody. There was always another number to hit, another door to get through, another version of myself I thought would finally let me exhale. But lately, something has shifted. I...

How do you know whether a relationship can last and when it might be time to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we take on your questions about conflict, attraction, exes, love languages and the hurt we carry into new relationships. There’s one question underneath many of them: are you working through what’s happening, or waiting for something to change? If you’re tired of knowing what you...

What matters more than love? My answer is capacity. I think we’ve wildly overestimated love’s ability to carry a relationship. You can love someone deeply and still lie to them, betray them, disappear when things get uncomfortable, refuse to look at yourself, or be unable to create a safe space for them. Love is a feeling. A relationship requires skills. In this episode, I answer questions about w...

What happens when you decide an idea is worth pursuing, even when you don't know where it's going to take you? Kelsey Crane joins me to talk about The Vanishing, her debut novel and the first book in The Exiles trilogy. We get into her journey from storytelling and gardening to writing a novel, why she chose to self-publish, what it feels like to reinvent yourself in your 40s, and the fear that co...

Some of the hardest truths about relationships are the ones we spend the most time avoiding. I’m talking about the conversations that challenge the way we think about marriage, love, resentment, breakups, and even our own intuition. I start with a controversial idea: I think marriages need to die. Not because divorce is the goal, but because long-term relationships can’t survive if the old version...

In this episode, I reflect on what I’d tell myself 10 years ago about losing everything, rebuilding, and learning that security was never really about what I owned. I also share a story about a local surfer in Costa Rica who offered to teach me after watching me struggle in the water every day. What stayed with me wasn’t the surfing—it was the feeling of being seen, believed in, and chosen at 52....

Are you staying because you want to or because you’re afraid to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays, I answer your questions about fading attraction, slow-burn love, situationships, and healing after heartbreak. We also talk about what it takes to start liking yourself again. And before you decide there’s no spark, there’s one question worth asking yourself… 🎙️ Connect with me: 📘 My latest book, Lov...

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Shefali who is an NYT bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. She is also a clinical psychologist, an international speaker and a wisdom teacher, integrating Eastern philosophy with Western psychology. We talk about what it actually means to raise conscious boys and girls in a world that is changing faster than ever. We talk about th...

I’m answering a few questions about love, desire, affairs, and obsession. I start with a question about losing desire for a husband after having an affair and whether that desire can actually come back. My answer is yes - but I don’t think getting the old desire back should be the goal. Sometimes the relationship we had has died, and the work is to create something new instead. I also talk about w...

I think resentment is one of the biggest things that can crack a relationship. We get hurt, minimize it, swallow it, and keep moving until all those little things start piling up. Eventually, the resentment becomes so big that we don't see the person or the relationship the same way anymore.  In this episode, I talk about why we need to learn how to express ourselves before resentment turns i...

I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with God. I believe in God. I believe in something greater. But I’ve realized that believing in God and actually having a relationship with God are two different things for me. In this episode, I get honest about growing up without religion, my complicated history with Christianity, the moments in my life that have felt undeniably spiritual, and why I...

Why do we remain stuck in the same patterns, compare ourselves to our partner’s past, or wait for an ex to give us closure? In Episode 26 of Therapy Thursdays, John answers your most personal questions about identity, intimacy, insecurity, attachment and relationships. He explains why meaningful change requires us to let go of an old version of ourselves - and why the familiar can feel safe even w...

I’m breaking down the biggest ways I think we sabotage our own healing, relationships, and lives. This conversation came from a post that resonated with millions of people and grew into a series because these patterns are so common - and so easy to mistake for growth. I talk about why insight isn’t the same as change, why breakups aren’t something we simply “get over,” why divorce doesn’t automati...

What happens when I know better but still find myself repeating the same relationship patterns? I answer 10 questions about love, attachment, obsession, loneliness, breakups, abuse, reconciliation, and the difficult choices we make when relationships activate something deeper inside us. I talk about why we can confuse familiarity with safety, why we sometimes become addicted to what another person...

What is the difference between loving someone and becoming obsessed with them? In this episode, I explore how love can slowly turn into fixation, fantasy, and emotional dependency, and why so many of us confuse chemistry with compatibility. Recording from a hotel room, I reflect on my own experiences with emotional intensity, attachment patterns, love addiction, fantasy, and obsession, as well as...

The house I grew up in is probably still living inside me. And the house you grew up in may still be living inside you, too. I’m recording from a diner in Mexico City and exploring one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves: What was the emotional climate of the home I grew up in? This conversation goes far beyond nostalgia or childhood memories. I explore how the emotional atmospher...