Sam's Healing Podcast

When infidelity or addiction has shaken a relationship, couples often turn to coaching or therapy for healing. These tools are designed to help people rebuild trust, understand pain, and create healthier patterns. At their best, they provide safety, empathy, and clarity. But when the language and frameworks of therapy or coaching are misused, they can become weapons.  Instead of supporting healing...

Why does the unfaithful cheat or act out?  What allows them to go against their moral compass and engage in an extramarital affair?  How do they justify it to themselves?   The truth may challenge what you've come to believe about some unfaithful partners.   For some it's anger and getting their needs met.  For others it can even be subconscious retaliation for the perceived rejection by their par...

Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of an unfaithful when they are about to lose everything?  Have you considered that maybe, just maybe there are those who sober up, realize what they are about to lose and actually do recovery work?  Today you'll hear from Ryan again, a former unfaithful who shares more of his compelling journey to healing as an unfaithful spouse who finally GOT IT....

What does the betrayed do when they feel as though the unfaithful just won't do the work?  Yet, the unfaithful, seemingly showed all sorts of effort to pursue their affair partner?   What choices does the betrayed male have in understanding the heart and mind of the unfaithful woman?  Are there parallels between the unfaithful male and unfaithful female?   Today you'll hear from returning guest Ad...

Today's episode is a story that begins where most love stories unravel: with a lie. Actually… with many lies. Our guest today is a great friend of mine and was also unfaithful to his wife. But the cheating, while devastating, was only part of the story. What nearly destroyed everything wasn't just the act—it was the lies that followed. The deception. The pretending. The carefully managed version o...

Tyler Patrick LMFT returns to the podcast to discuss why we the unfaithful constantly revert to defensiveness and avoidance when trying to heal ourselves or our relationships.   Have you ever wondered why you, the unfaithful, will fire back to your partner's questions or comments with harsh defensiveness?  Can you remember a time when you WEREN'T DEFENSIVE?   What about avoidance?  Has avoidance b...

Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games.   This game is not only deep but usually ingrained within the communication style of one or both parties.  It's called "I've Got You Now...."   It's one of the most insidious games couples fall into subconsciously as they seek to heal from infidelity and bet...

Today you'll meet Lauren LaRusso, a well known face on social media and true expert to those looking for hope, healing and new life after the discovery of infidelity.   Lauren holds a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Creative Writing from The College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA, and a Masters in Professional Counseling from The University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, PA.  In her year...

Healing from infidelity is no easy task.   Whether a betrayed male or female, the pain can feel as though it has no purpose, no redemption and no light at the end of the tunnel.   Today you'll meet Randall who shares his own story of not only excruciating emotional pain and hurt, but also how he and his wife have found healing, joy and redemption.  Randall pulls no punches as he shares insight int...

Today, relationship and expert therapist James Annear joins me to discuss when it's time to forgo individual or couples work and proceed right ahead to an intensive.  If you're on my page, you know the disclosure of infidelity is a devastating moment in any relationship. Whether the betrayal was emotional, physical, or both, it strikes at the core of trust and safety between partners. While many c...

Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games called If It Weren't for You.   Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it'll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess? That's not...

Meet Adam Nisenson, known as the Betrayal Shrink. Adam combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a Betrayal Trauma Coach. Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Adam is dedicated to guiding men through the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma.  He's also the author of A Man's Guide to Partner Betra...

Today you'll meet a friend of mine, Kevin who shares his own journey with infidelity as a betrayed male and Autism. Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person perceives the world and interacts with others. It's called a "spectrum" because it includes a wide range of characteristics and levels of support needs, from mild to significant. Ke...

Today John Lee joins me to discuss how enmeshment shows up in the life of the unfaithful partner as they wrestle to find freedom from shame and emotional immaturity.  You'll find John's humor and straight forward nature to not only be a breath of fresh air, but validating for the betrayed partner and liberating for the unfaithful.  We roam free today discussing how safety is an inside job for both...

Enmeshment is a term from psychology that describes a relationship dynamic where personal boundaries are overly blurred, and people become emotionally over-involved with each other. It often happens in families or close relationships, where one person's emotions, needs, or identity are heavily entangled with another's, to the point that individual autonomy is lost. For example, a parent might rely...

How do you reclaim your worth when your reflection is distorted by someone else's betrayal—when every glance in the mirror whispers, 'they chose them over me".... or "they gave them what they wouldn't give me?"   The cruelest part of infidelity isn't just the betrayal—it's the quiet, relentless comparison that follows.   Today you'll hear from frequent guest Max and how he was able to break free f...

Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it'll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess? That's not just bad luck. You might be stuck in a psychological game. Psychological games are repetitive patterns of hidden communication people play with each other, often unconsciou...

What do you do when you don't have control over your spouse's behavior? What do you do when they won't forgive you, if you're an unfaithful? What do you do when your unfaithful won't do recovery work or won't go all in when you're a betrayed? What do you do when you or your partner associate pain with vulnerability or intimacy due to childhood or developmental trauma? We call this feeling powerles...

Today Max and I discuss a poignant moment in his own compelling journey where he admits "I didn't want to believe this was happening to me." As you'll hear in today's raw and personal discussion, infidelity and denial are deeply intertwined issues that can have a profound impact on the betrayed spouse. Whether male or female, infidelity strikes at the core of our being, creating a staggering feeli...

Today you'll meet Jonathan, a friend of mine and survivor of both infidelity and stage four cancer. Yes, he's a victim of infidelity as a betrayed male, but he's also a warrior which is what any betrayed partner is who decides to keep on living after such devastating pain. Betrayal can hit particularly hard for men due to several deep-rooted psychological, cultural, and emotional factors. Betrayal...

The topic of CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and infidelity is important because infidelity can trigger complex trauma responses, especially for individuals who have a history of unresolved trauma or are vulnerable to the effects of betrayal. The intersection of these two can cause profound emotional and psychological damage, making it crucial to understand how infidelity can exacer...

Today you'll meet Paige, a betrayed spouse who is both courageous, vibrant and resilient. Months ago on Samuel's Instagram there were several poems that were written that were moving, powerful and gut wrenching all at the same time. Paige was in fact the author of those poems and has agreed to share some of her story with the audience. While some marriages don't make it, Paige's marriage is thrivi...

How does the betrayed deal with comparisons to the affair partner(s)? This issue remains one of the most difficult, overwhelming and traumatizing aspects of infidelity. Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't I enough for them to stay committed to the marriage? What was lacking in me or in our relationship that would lead them to go outside the marriage or relationship? Today Max and I discuss how he's be...

A soon to be regular contributor to the podcast, Max returns to discuss the shame of the betrayed male. While not entirely different than the betrayed female, Max goes to great length to describe his own shame and trauma associated with his wife's multiple affairs. From isolation to loneliness, to embarrassment and outright despair, Max takes us down a journey of just how hard it was to find his f...

Today you'll meet a great friend of mine by the name of Max. He's an author of two books, an editor, a guitar player, a gracious speaker and unfortunately a betrayed male spouse. Today you'll hear some of his story and more importantly, all of his heart. I've said this in videos, written blogs and interviews over close to 20 years that the journey of the betrayed male spouse is different. It's nua...