Call Me Back

Today I called Lance's voicemail to babble about St. Patrick's Day, McDonald's memories, Travis Kelce, The Oscars, legalized segregation, unwanted surveys, The Lion King musical, Knott's Berry Farm's parking situation, TGI Fridays, ketchup's new replacement, gaps in modern technology, politics, and Love is Blind.

Today I called Jacqui's voicemail to discuss the rain and it's subsequent signage, haircut awkwardness, body anomalies, Taco Bell, the ups and downs of receiving packages, being high, death, cars, the Super Bowl, and a company that has way too much unexplained money.

Today I called Ryan's voicemail to share tales of some of my recent outings, listen to some music I found at a gas station, talk Yeezy Pods, post-Christmas crying, various things on the internet that make me laugh, who I'm voting for President, TikTok softness, and ditching technology for something more Italian.

Today I called Dillon's voicemail to chat about an awkward interaction I had at FedEx, traffic, the heightened level of movie theater disrespect, doorless Santa, Chanukah, Cracker Jacks, doppelgängers, Mother God, text message scams, and subscription service FOMO.

Today I called Kevin's voicemail to talk about boba, impulse buys and targeted ads, a mysterious Thanksgiving dumpster dinner that I found, LEGO, dog poop etiquette, cake throwing, Coinstar, Busta Rhymes, Enrique Iglesias, and a jingle that I can't get out of my head.

To kick us off, I called Tyler's voicemail and rambled on about my neck, A.I., not so Harry Styles, Aquaman 2, Starbucks, my neighbor, my car troubles, Ring cameras, and the holidays.