Brilliant Observations

Move over, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, there's a new strummer girl coming round the Bend. Missy double checks her list of favorite dopamine hits, while Amy struggles to overcome Chairgate. 

Oh America, must you? This week, we cover the much anticipated Mountain Dew Baja Blast Pie, aka seasonal, 8-serving colon prep. Missy attends the Bat Mitzvah of the Ages. And Amy battles unseen enemies like dead ladybugs, aerosolized jalapeno oil and straight up tap water.

And you thought Amy was a thief. Cat Burglar takes on a whole new meaning this week, Dear Listener, as Melissa brings tales of grabby renters gone awry. All that, plus fecal transfers (tips and tricks!), Halloweeners, assholery at concerts and the new glasses finally make an appearance.  

Why do Incels have to ruin everything? It's a world gone mad, Dear Listener, with the Amish (of all peoples) in standing up for their rights. Amy saunters past the Costco in protest. And Missy wonders aloud how a simple reframe is all it takes to turn Failure To Launch into the new Side Hustle. 

Naming conventions, unhappy Republicans and a Coach for all Comers. All this ya whore, on today's Brilliant Observations. Do doo doo do, doooooOooooooOooo!!!

The first rule of Robot Fight Club is don't talk about Bad Bunny headlining the Superbowl Half Time Show (because, honestly? just shut up). Missy explores the dark side of personal Coaches for All The Things. Amy muses on the opportunities of October. And we both share a giggle about life at Camp Dog Hair. 

A tale of two dentists. Foiled again by luxurious packaging, Amy unwittingly buys geriatric floss from her once beloved brand, Cocolab (shame! shame! shame!). Melissa puts her own spin on Schrodinger's Cat with Asperger's Periodontist, aka her local tooth shop staffed by Drs. Butterfingers and Vacusuck. The story, you guys. I can't. Just play it. Trust me.  It's thooooooooorrrrrrroooooouuugggggghh...

What do you do when your friend asked to bring her "charmingly exhuberant" child to stay for a week or so? Listen and learn as Missy adds a new word to her vocabulary. All that, plus funeral friends, Jews in Church and surprise feedback from you, Dear Listener. Chuckle up, Buttercup!

It's episode 420, Dear Listener, and we must be high to laugh this hard. This week, we explore the unusual topic of Straight Male Gaycationing, RFK's latest vac-attack, and everyone's favorite, the World Gone Mad. Add in a lil teenagers behaving badly, low bladder control and profoundly felt love, and you've got yourself a podcast.   

Holy Guacamole, Dear Listener! We've been through the ringer this week, but at least we're back in action with a jaunty episode filled with homegrown shock and awe. Missy and Amy take to the sand to set Margate straight after the renters evacuate. And the world slows just a bit to gawk at unruly mothers and shocking behaviors on Netflix. We cap it all off with a rousing round of LISTENER FEEDBACK...

Oh my gosh, you guys, this show. It's so funny. Especially the part where we talk about creepy med techs who deeply require training in bedside manner. Then there's friends, talking, football, silliness, gagging (sorry) and speculation about the health of current inhabitant of the Oval Office. A girl can dream. 

Feeling pretty smug, are we Dear Listener? Well, shame me not for my 65,000 inbox emails. I'm too busy doing the Lord's work to open your "please subscribe to my blog" email. And by busy, I of course mean chasing wolf spiders, playing Fishdom, and arguing over the proper use of the Oxford comma (see what I did there?). From Victorian fish forks to Cutwater canned vodka to vaginal spelunking, we sk...

Tomato sandwiches, dead deer and a whole heaping helping of giggly, googly eyed fun. All this and as the list-lipped mesothelioma lady says, so much more , on today's Brilliant Observations. 

Holy chemical stimulation, Batman! Missy and Amy wander down sexual performance enhancement lane this week, Dear Listener, along with a full review of the flingable dildos spotted recently at the W-MBA. It's almost as fun as taking an edible at dinner. Hey, now!

Scotty Scheffler may know who he is, but as for Amy, she's still learning, Dear Listener. This week, we cover Hinge dating, the visual appeal of applying serums and Drive By Carb-ing. Bowl of Prop Cereal, anyone?

Beach houses, human teeth collections and circular diahhrea. Just another day in paradise, Dear Listener, and per usual we're here for it. We cover the passing of Ozzy Ozbourne, animal cremains and the long list of people's names Amy has no chance of remembering. Sprinkle in a bit of homespun wisdom, potty humor and lighthearted feminist manifesto and you've got yourself a show, folks. 

Once again, Melissa goes out of her way to make Amy look bad by allowing Amy's mic to record and broadcast the exact things she says with her own mouth. Amy learns (refutes?) the lies behind the rules our parents told us as children. Missy learns how many songs make other people think of her. And we both discuss the C-suite homewreckers caught canoodling in pubic in front of then entire world (wit...

Time to take yer teets out somewhere salty. The summer is closing, Dear Listener, and as we al know, it can only last as long as it can last. Missy Navy Seal breathes through the struggle as the kids laze, the eyes glaze and TVs on every floor blast Love Island: Creepy and Rapey Edition. Plus, Melissa shares an uplifting tale of solidarity and love courtesy of a Houston Yoga studio (creepy and rap...

Amy cuts a solid six inches off her hair and literally no one notices. Missy violates the terms and conditions of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. And we both attempt to decompress whilst upholding the rapidly loosening rules of polite society. Kinda. 

It's the Poop Cruise plus Pee Wee, Dear Listener, and boy do we have opinions for you. Missy draws a hard line in the litter box over floating public vacations. Amy doubles down with her side-eye over Paul Reubens' questionable collections. And we both reminisce over the joys of time with family, salt air and silliness.  

Aggressive athletics, with Melissa. This week, our fair friend finds herself (once again) challenged on the Atlantic City boardwalk by yet another geriatric upstart. Who will win?  How long have you listened to this show?

It's love and abundance week, Dear Listerner, so let's kick things off with a timeless message... don't steal. Or maybe, don't get caught. See also: Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefor...

The pull of gravity has reached our jowels, Dear Listener, and the only one coming to save us is Corporate Thor. Good thing little girls are here to annoy the fugg out of us on an airplane. Interested? You should be. We explore all these topics this week, plus: should Melissa give up her daily sleepy-weed ritual? You be the judge (for a change). Lord knows we could use a break fomr that job.