Hi Pod! I'm Dad.

When my son Lucas was first diagnosed with autism, I worried that I'd spend the rest of my life defending him from strangers. Every trip to a restaurant, store, or public place felt like an opportunity for someone to stare, make a comment, or cross a line. But something unexpected happened. The confrontations I anticipated never came. Instead, I encountered strangers who showed kindness, unde...

When my son Lucas was first diagnosed with autism, I thought my biggest fear was that he would never talk. Fifteen years later, he still hasn't spoken a word. But the fear that kept me awake at night was something much deeper. In this episode of Hi Pod, I'm Dad , I talk about the years when I wondered whether my son would ever know who I was, let alone build a relationship with me. I sha...

When I tell someone my 15-year-old son Lucas is nonverbal and has autism, I don't expect to hear, “I’m sorry.” But recently, I did. It reminded me of an editor years ago who called a story about raising Lucas “scary.” The truth is, when Lucas was little, I understood the fear. I worried about his future, focused on milestones he wasn't reaching, and wondered what his life would look like...

Lucas has been nonverbal his entire life. When he was little, I spent years worrying about whether he would ever talk before realizing I was focused on the wrong thing. He didn't need to speak. He needed a way to communicate. Now, at 15, we're facing a different challenge. The jumping, screaming, hugging, and excitement that were easy for the world to accept when he was little can look v...

After a week filled with work drama, dating nonsense, and people using a whole lot of words to avoid saying anything at all, I got my son Lucas back. And it reminded me of something I absolutely love about him. Lucas is nonverbal, but he may be the most emotionally honest person I've ever known. If he's happy, you know it. If he doesn't want to deal with me, he'll look me direc...

We all say our kids come first. But sometimes life gives you a moment when you find out just how automatic that really is. This week, I talk about telling my daughter Olivia that we'd find a way to make college work no matter what it cost, even as a voice in my own head wondered exactly how I planned to pull that off. Then there's Lucas, my 15-year-old nonverbal son with autism, who need...

My son Lucas will always be my baby. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell his facial hair. This week, I’m talking about watching both of my kids grow up, from my 18-year-old daughter heading off to college to the startling realization that my 15-year-old nonverbal son now has Fred Flintstone stubble, incredibly hairy legs and a very teenage desire for his dad to get out of his room. I also get in...

Lucas looked me right in the eye and slammed his bedroom gate in my face like a stereotypical teenager. I couldn't stop laughing. It also perfectly demonstrated why I've never assigned a "mental age" to my nonverbal 15-year-old son. This week on Hi Pod! I'm Dad, I talk about that wonderfully teenage moment and why trying to reduce Lucas to a developmental age has never mad...

I dropped my daughter off at college this week. Then I drove home without her. I knew this day was coming. I knew Olivia was ready. In fact, that's what I spent 18 years trying to accomplish. I wanted to raise a strong, capable person who could go out into the world without needing me to hold her hand. Turns out, succeeding at that can hurt like hell. On the drive to college, Olivia told me s...

Does my son care that I took him back to the town where I grew up? Maybe not. But that's not really the point. This week, I talk about taking my 15-year-old nonverbal son, Lucas, back to Lindenhurst and sharing places with him that meant something to me growing up, even if I'm not sure how much those places mean to him. I also look back at all the outings we've tried over the years....

Years ago, I had a dream that my non-verbal son was speaking. Someone in the dream told me, "He's been talking this whole time." I never forgot it. This week, I had another dream about Lucas. Except this time, he wasn't speaking. He was 15, getting himself dressed, walking through a hotel on his own and trying to use a room key. When I woke up, I understood almost immediately w...

People often assume the hardest part of raising a nonverbal child with autism comes during the teenage years, when your child is bigger, stronger, and harder to physically manage. After raising my 15-year-old son Lucas, I can honestly say the years that scared me most came much earlier. This week, I talk about why the uncertainty of ages 5, 6, and 7 weighed on me far more than life with a nonverba...

What happens when your child never asks for anything? This week I'm talking about a new mattress. Not because mattresses are exciting, but because buying one for my non-verbal son, Lucas, reminded me of something I've been thinking about for years. He never asked for it. He wasn't complaining about the old one. He probably would have slept just as happily on two pillows and a blanke...

With my birthday arriving in the middle of July, I’m taking a rare step back to look at how much my life has changed. I talk about leaving behind a career writing about professional wrestling, finding my real voice through stories about Lucas and Olivia, starting over after heart surgery and divorce, and learning to stop taking responsibility for everyone else’s behavior. Most of all, I share how...

This week, I'm talking about something that's been on my mind for a long time. People often debate labels like "high functioning," "low functioning," and "profound autism," but I think they're missing the bigger point. My son Lucas doesn't measure his life by jobs, marriage, or fitting into society's expectations. So why do so many other peopl...

My son Lucas accidentally dumped an entire cup of water over my head. The surprising part wasn't the mess. It was what happened next. In this episode, I explain why raising a child with autism has completely changed the way I think about patience, discipline, and emotional regulation. Some parenting lessons happen in the moment. Others have to wait until the moment has passed. Understanding t...

My daughter Olivia turned 18, and somewhere between scholarship nights, senior prom, and graduation, it finally hit me: my baby isn't a little girl anymore. In this episode, I look back at the journey that started long before graduation. I talk about the early days of HiBlogI'mDad, when Olivia colored the original blog logo, why surviving my quintuple bypass changed the way I looked at f...

A quick tap on your kid's leg used to feel like nothing. Then one day it doesn't. This week, James shares a simple summer pool trip with his nonverbal son Lucas that turned into something much bigger. As his daughter prepares to graduate high school, he's already feeling the weight of time moving faster than ever. That reality hits again when he realizes the little boy he's spe...

When my son Lucas was little, one of my biggest fears had nothing to do with autism itself. It was language. As a writer, words have always been how I connect with people. They're how I explain myself, build relationships, and make sense of the world around me. So when it became clear that Lucas wasn't developing verbal language, I assumed there would always be a wall between us. I could...

When my son Lucas was first diagnosed with autism, I thought speech was everything. How would he tell me what he needed? How would he make friends? How would he navigate the world? Like many parents, I became fixated on words because I believed they were the key to everything else. I was wrong. In this episode, I talk about what happened when I stopped focusing on speech and started focusing on co...

My daughter turned 18 this week, and suddenly I found myself thinking about how fast childhood disappears. One minute your kids are toddlers running through the living room with The Wiggles on in the background, and the next they’re adults making plans for the future. That realization hits differently when you’re raising a nonverbal autistic teenager. This week, I talk about the fear that comes wi...

People tell me, “We wish all dads were like you,” and I know they mean it as a compliment. But after hearing it enough times at parent-teacher conferences, CSE meetings, and school events, I started wondering what it really says about the expectations we place on fathers. This week I talk about raising Lucas, why involved dads still get treated like exceptions, the strange culture of applauding fa...

People think raising a child with autism is about behavior management, routines, or finding the perfect strategy. For me, the biggest breakthrough came when my son Lucas finally trusted that I understood him. This week, I talk about how everything changed once that trust clicked into place. From meltdowns in parking lots to waiting for food at restaurants, I share the small moments that taught Luc...

People hear that my son Lucas is nonverbal with autism and usually ask the same question: “How do you understand each other?” The truth is, I understand him better than I understand almost anyone else. This week, I talk about the strange honesty that comes with raising a child who doesn’t hide what he wants, doesn’t play social games, and communicates in ways that are often clearer than words. Fro...

This week’s episode comes from a thought I’ve had for years but finally put into words. When my son was first showing signs of autism, I was terrified of what the future would look like. The things that kept me up at night. The delays, the struggles, the uncertainty...they all felt like deal breakers. The truth is, a lot of those fears came true. My son is nonverbal. He needs help with things most...