Handing the Shame Back

Poet. Sibling Sexual Abuse Survivor.  Dragica experienced Sibling sexual abuse for over 4 years  by her older brother. She believes that  what would help other survivors is to tell someone who loves you.  She also found being in nature helped  as well as learning new things. She felt the safest at school. You can reach Dragica at dragica.ilic@zg.t-com.hr HELP NZ    Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 3...

Survivors - We Need to: Start to understand which one of the trauma responses is our predominant one, and observe that. This will show itself in all our interpersonal relationships. Knowledge of this can help shift awareness and then mastery of it. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and also if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. http...

Meet Craig Heiting: Survivor, Husband and Entertainment industry executive He was abused by an older neighbour between 8-14 years of age.  They were trusted friends of the family, he is inspiring and entirely authentic - a great voice for men.  He helps run an organisation called voices beyond assault.  Contact details are:  www.voicesbeyondassault.org.  IG menofvba and voicesbeyondassault.  Email...

Survivors - We Need to: Stop gaslighting ourselves through: Thinking its all in our heads: Not validating how we really feel; Putting others feelings ahead of our own and;  thinking we don't deserve to be happy! Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation  and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter.  https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #childho...

Monthly Tips for those of you Supporting survivors. Feel free to reach out for any resources including coaching and books,  by going directly to https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #survivors #believesurvivors We are on all Social Media Platforms Twitter FB LinkedIn YouTube InstaGram TikTok We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheSha...

Meet the wonderful Kerry-Anne Survivor, Singer, and advocate for Van Hippel-Lindau (VHL) sufferers. When Kerry’s parents died, she went into foster care at age 4 and was to spend the next 11 or so years being abused by her stepbrothers and brother. She felt that singing, and handing it off to god helped her, and believes if you have faith in yourself that is a powerful way to help healing. You can...

Survivors we Need to: Look after ourselves when days are tough Do less not more Surround ourselves with kindness Acknowledge how amazing we are. Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter.  https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #childhoodsexualabuse #survivorofsexualabuse #survivorsupport #survivors #i...

Survivors we need to: Stand in the truth Have own back. Not waste time justifying ourselves to others. We do not need to be DARVOed Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter.  https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #childhoodsexualabuse #survivorofsexualabuse #survivorsupport #survivors #ibelievesurviv...

Feeling grateful as survivors can sometimes be a challenge. Isn't getting through the day enough? What is there to be grateful for? Really? Have a listen to this, and see what leaps out at you. Its worth it. I promise!! Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation  If you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter, go to our website https://www.handingthesh...

Meet Keeper, Survivor, Brother of survivors and Speaker. He is a survivor of sexual abuse. He is also a brother to some of his siblings being sexually abused. His purpose in speaking is to elevate the voice of brothers, so they can have a seat at the table upon realising their sisters have been sexually abused. He believes that trauma self replicates in the form of PTSD and that the first step in...

Ken Clearwater and Todd Portsmouth join me in discussing one of the cruellest responses directed at male survivors of child sexual abuse:  The one where they 'supposedly' go on to abuse children themselves. This DOES NOT happen, in fact the numbers are so small, as to be indescribable. The reality is these men have no desire to inflict the harm on others that was inflicted on them. HELP...

Survivors we need to: Encompass Self Love Trust ourselves Not compare our story to others Suffering Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #childhoodsexualabuse #survivorofsexualabuse #survivorsupport #survivors #ibelievesurvivors #handingtheshameback We are o...

Monthly Tips for those of you Supporting survivors. Feel free to reach out for any resources including coaching and books,  by going directly to https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #survivors #believesurvivors We are on all Social Media Platforms Twitter FB LinkedIn YouTube InstaGram TikTok We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheSha...

Meet Jeremy Indika who was abused between 8-10 years of age.  This person was a trusted work friend of his father.  He first disclosed at age 25. He says that every time he speaks out the fear, shame and guild dissolves You can find Jeremy on his Website: https://jeremyindika.com  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeM5... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindika/ Facebook: https:/...

Meet Nettie Long She was abused from age 3 - 7 years by an older female cousin, then again at 12 by an assistant pastor. She told her parents, and  it was never talked about again. That was to have one of the biggest impacts on her young life. Watch here for her story. Her best advice is to 'Choose You' in those difficult challenges/choices life throws up. HELP NZ    Sexual Harm Helpline...

Being Invisible as survivors is not an uncommon experience. We learned to hide and keep our shame hidden. For healing and a way forward perhaps its time to address this and change the invisible to visible? Go to handingtheshameback.org for more information on our foundation and for ways to help.  If you are looking or coaching whether survivor or supporter, email gloria@handingtheshameback.org #ch...

This interview depicts my 16 years of horror at the hands of my father, and then his paedophile rings. I share this, so other survivors can feel seen, believed and less alone. HELP NZ    Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz.           Help Auckland  0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA  RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Largest US support...

This short interview discusses my abuse, and looks at the impact it had. We talk through the Silent Endemic adult survivors of child sexual abuse experience.....let alone what children experiencing it now, go through. HELP NZ    Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz.           Help Auckland  0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA  RAINN...

Meet Tony Baker He is a Peer support worker for Male Support Services Waikato, he is also a father and a Survivor. He was abused by a neighbour at 8 years of age, and shares the impact of that with us. He believes that sometimes peer support can get you a little further than counselling or actual partners can. He wants to give support to by stating that: You were not born to have this life, it was...

Monthly Tips for those of you Supporting survivors. Feel free to reach out for any resources including coaching and books,  by going directly to https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ #handingtheshameback #survivors #believesurvivors We are on all Social Media Platforms Twitter FB LinkedIn YouTube InstaGram TikTok We are on all social media platforms: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HandingtheSha...

Taylah Ma is the sister of a survivor, Here is her story. Although 13 years younger than her sister, Taylah observed the pain and trauma her sister suffered. She shares what the intergenerational trauma bond looks like, and the impacts it had in their lives. She also believes that to support another person in a healthy and meaningful way you need to support yourself as well. All will relate to thi...

Having disappointment in our lives helps us. It makes us vulnerable and therefore anxious; we have to dig deep to overcome and master these feelings before we can move to accepting them, which is why it helps us. We learn to overcome and then master not just that situation, but eventually life. Go to handingtheshameback.org for more information on our foundation and for ways to help.  If you are l...

Meet Survivor Nancy Morris She experienced Sibling Sexual Abuse from the age of 8 - 16 years, and generously shares her story. She believes that keeping the genie from going back into the bottle (as in even more silence existing around Sibling Sexual Abuse (SSA) is crucial. She also believes that its incredibly important for survivors to stay focused on their own lives, rather than worrying about...

Supporters sometimes don't set limits or boundaries with Survivors, but although they are well meaning; the effect can have a negative impact on the relationship. Have a quick listen as to why this is essential for both parties. If you are interested in any coaching from gloria please email  contactus@handingtheshameback.org  #childhoodsexualabuse #survivorofsexualabuse #survivorsupport #surv...

This short interview discusses my abuse, and looks at the impact it had. We lightly touch on conviction rates in south africa and NZ. HELP NZ    Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz.           Help Auckland  0800 623 1700. Male Survivors Aotearoa, Freephone: 0800 044 334 USA  RAINN https://www.rainn.org/ Largest US support for adult survivors of child sexual abuse...