Video Village

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) mourn the DEATH OF A UNICORN, compose notes for THE FOUR SEASONS, undergo THE ASSESSMENT, issue a fat wah against #1 HAPPY FAMILY USA, prune the climbing Daisy of CLEANER, reveal whether ELSBETH - SEASON 2 gets its men, DROP a review, get real about ANDOR - SEASON 2, engage in WARFARE and board SCREAMBOAT for a slash from Willie.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) stare ponderously into BLACK MIRROR - SEASON 7, cut the tension of CLOUD and DEAD MAIL, assemblé a position on ÉTOILE, ana-log some FREAKY TALES, go Hardy on HAVOC, remain LOCKED in and autoimmobile, remove the blinders for DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN, roll in the blighted sandbox of A MINECRAFT MOVIE and examine the urgent treat of THE PITT.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) plumb the infernal conflict of DEVIL MAY CRY, question the (M)MO of SIDE QUEST, double up on THE ALTO KNIGHTS, debate whether to bail on THE BONDSMAN, litigate MATLOCK, wonder if BLACK BAG belongs in the bin, double up again (and again and again...) on MICKEY 17 and pan PETER PAN'S NEVERLAND NIGHTMARE.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) scorch earth IN THE LOST LANDS, set up camp for MID-CENTURY MODERN, assess the wellness of THE WHITE LOTUS - SEASON 3, report on COMMON SIDE EFFECTS, consider whether DELI BOYS Is(lama)bad, drift through REACHER - SEASON 3, take our one shot incelling ADOLESCENCE, rate the pain of NOVOCAINE, drone on about THE ELECTRIC STATE, snare down THE MONKEY and take a long hard...

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) put the gloves on for DAY OF THE FIGHT, skip to THE END, do a deep-dive on LAST BREATH, investigate THE RESIDENCE, keep rollin' through Y2K, get to the Bikini Bottom of PLANKTON: THE MOVIE, natter amour with HEART EYES, offer perspective on WIN OR LOSE, liquidly FLOW, take a hit out on OLD GUY and work Lumonescently undivided through SEVERANCE - SEASON 2.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) sling a critical web around YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN, get in the ring for A THOUSAND BLOWS (be mature, please), Tóth our skills for thankless labour like THE BRUTALIST, leaf through MEMOIR OF A SNAIL, impose male-order on COMPANION and slash mercilessly through PIGLET and MOUSE OF HORRORS.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) emerge from desolation row for A COMPLETE UNKNOWN, preside over PARADISE, manage our franchise with RUNNING POINT, hop in the cruiser to get ON CALL, get forensic about DEXTER: ORIGINAL SIN, hover unseen for PRESENCE, get KINDA PREGNANT with disgust and hack our way through ZERO DAY.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) contend with BEAST GAMES, take a holistic approach to APPLE CIDER VINEGAR, chronicle the Renée-sance of BRIDGET JONES: MAD ABOUT THE BOY, bridge THE GORGE between us, face the HARD TRUTHS of... well, assess the procedure of HIGH POTENTIAL, put THE LAST SHOWGIRL under the spotlight, cover SEPTEMBER 5 with the means at our disposal, consider the pedigree of DOG MAN, rec...

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) give you the lowdown on ELEVATION as we get BACK IN ACTION, lurch baldly and boldly through FLIGHT RISK, stay HERE for some time(s), analyse the manoeuvres of THE NIGHT AGENT - SEASON 2, mynd OUT THERE gyda Martin Clunes am chops, go "Live from South Wales!" for SATURDAY NIGHT, examine the contours of SILO - SEASON 2, space the final frontier with STAR TREK: SECTION 3...

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) submit a review of BABYGIRL, traffic in BLOOD FOR DUST, retain frigid desolation for THE DAMNED, get Callas about MARIA(?), comment asocially upon the social commentary of NICKEL BOYS, acknowledge that WE LIVE IN TIME to save yours, take a disaster tour through A REAL PAIN, load our Gunns for CREATURE COMMANDOS, exploit our public with JERRY SPRINGER: FIGHTS, CAMERA,...

An interesting year was 2024. And I refer not to the reinstatement of Trump, nor the advancements of AI, nor the rise of autocracy, nor the fall of Assad, nor Palestine, nor hawk tuah. No, I’m talking about the fundament of being itself that outlasts the ephemera of happening things, the undergird of the fabric of why to bother. I’m talking about film and television. 2024 was arguably cinema’s fin...

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) “Feel” our way through BETTER MAN (where “Angels” fear to tread), allot time and hold space for DOCTOR WHO: JOY TO THE WORLD, check what’s occurrin’ with GAVIN & STACEY: THE FINALE, stop motion to wallow in WALLACE & GROMIT: VENGEANCE MOST FOWL, go beast mode on KRAVEN THE HUNTER, take a hard stare at the bear PADDINGTON IN PERU, aim for true north in pursuit...

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) defy the gravity of musical expertise for WICKED, strive for august patricianship as we Rome about GLADIATOR II, get rhetorical and wax philosophical about HERETIC, aim for accuracy re: THE DAY OF THE JACKAL, refuse to annul our partnership like ANORA, take flightless on THE PENGUIN and ponder the decline of civilisation exemplified in (by) MEGALOPOLIS.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) inaugurate Cohnversation on the real (e)state of THE APPRENTICE, evacuate our brains and bombard the London of you for BLITZ, get Pacific and manganimus in our MSG about THE CONTESTANT and assemble a woman-free (cardinally), virginal (by most accounts) symposium in digital pectore to discuss CONCLAVE.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) communicate with you animals about THE WILD ROBOT, foster good-will and adopt a Christian ear for SOUND OF HOPE: THE STORY OF POSSUM TROT, decide whether TRANSFORMERS ONE is cause for prime optimism or screaming at the stars, le'go of our preconceptions and build a review PIECE BY PIECE, summon reserves from Down Under to throw THE OFFICE (Australia) on the barbie - A...

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) sweep on with threshing oar to the TWILIGHT OF THE GODS, face the trials of the Critics' Road with AGATHA ALL ALONG, sneak into THE 4:30 MOVIE, schlep our schmucky selves through a NOBODY WANTS THIS schmooze, blur the lines between amateur and professional for SING SING, check SWEETPEA off our kill-list and Get Out our venom for a sedate defilement of BLINK TWICE.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) beware lest we become monstrous as we fight MONSTERS: THE LYLE AND ERIK MENENDEZ STORY, occupy space where no one will hear us with ALIEN: ROMULUS, go for a Burton to meet BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE, maintain a fragile civility around SPEAK NO EVIL, egest from our horror-bodies THE SUBSTANCE and pursue wis-Dom for subs on the tail of a certain STRANGE DARLING.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) word-search and cross words over LUDWIG, become a pair of chiacchierones for WISE GUY: DAVID CHASE AND THE SOPRANOS (don’t fuhgeddaboudit), peel the bananas banana of CHIMP CRAZY, forfeit no ground on REBEL RIDGE, hurtle speedily through NIGHTSLEEPER and set the bait for those behind THE MOUSE TRAP.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) go Pretty under the skin with UGLIES, chaperone KAOS on a voyage too close to the Sun, cast doubt on the resurrection of THE CROW, create a chat room irl re: RED ROOMS, bring our odd coupling to bear on COLIN FROM ACCOUNTS and go demon mode on how beyond good is EVIL.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) conduct our typically Doughy 101 in decidedly unhushed tones regarding QUIET ON SET: THE DARK SIDE OF KIDS TV, chart the outer reaches of vexation with BORDERLANDS, swing by THE LAST STOP IN YUMA COUNTY for a quick critical brew, navigate the concerted mechanisms of M. Night Shyamalan’s TRAP and turn Pixar’s latest child-brain brainchild INSIDE OUT 2.

This week, Jordan and I (Sam) whirl fatly around the throwback vortex with TWISTERS, scrutinise the blazing Boredchurch of THE JETTY from our displeasure vessel, trail the glossy MAXXXINE along Hollywood Boulevard in a non-criminal fashion, make a potentially botched attempt to extract enjoyment from THE INSTIGATORS (don't get us started) and team up to take on the question: is DEADPOOL & WOLV...

Reviews of A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE, KINDS OF KINDNESS, BATMAN: CAPED CRUSADER S1, THELMA and LONGLEGS. You are now entering Video Village. Well, at the moment, you're plonked outside the limits, staring at the welcome sign. It's uncommon for villages to have mottos, but ours does. You squint to discern it, printed as it is damn near illegible in Edwardian Script. You wonder why. An attempt to mask...

From the Shorthand Effusions of Jeremy Kettle, Date Unknown, Motives Inscrutable: "All things must pass. Yet, lest you sustain a dogged certitude in a Great Unknown*, 'tis a common failing to mistake passage for passing, especially if you're on a P&O cruise. Does anything end? Or does it merely change? Such questions have busied brilliant and bored minds for aeons. Change is the only rigid dim...

Jordan and I find ourselves in what was once a forest, framed by the charred corpses of organia. Before us looms our Oak erection which, yielding to precedent, is in acute decline. The Moirai schlep our porcine persons t'ward the wilted trunk, Atropos routinely glancing back over her shoulder with a wicked grin and making the "snip-snip" motion with her fingers. Her nails (predictably, on reflecti...

Today, I have been GRIPPED by the urge to talk about cereal. Coincidentally, cereal is the focus of one of the films we review (it's not a coincidence). In an attempt to curb option paralysis, I am gustatorially unadventurous. But when I consider the myriad cereals on supermarket shelves, I can with confidence claim to have sampled the vast majority. Lit and watered by its nostalgic roots, cereal...