This Is Not What I Ordered: conversations on chronic illness, loss + change

Today I'm joined by Brynn Saito: educator, organizer, and award-winning poet. Brynn's latest collection of poetry, Under a Future Sky, was inspired by her visit to the Gila River in southern Arizona, the place where where her grandparents were imprisoned during World War II era incarceration of the Japanese American community. Together, we delve into that visit with her father and grandparents, an...

This week, join me for a co-hosted episode alongside returning guest, Melissa Platt. She is a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with survivors of complex trauma, and since she last joined me, has received a Ménière's disease diagnosis. In our candid conversation, we explore the complexities of living with progressive health challenges, the impact on one's identity, and the vital rol...

Joining me on the podcast today is our very special guest, Shideh Etaat, an Iranian-American writer. Shideh holds an MFA in creative writing from San Francisco State University and has recently unveiled her debut literary masterpiece, Rana Joon and the One and Only Now. Today, Shideh shares an emotionally resonant narrative, recounting the day of her police officer husband's traumatic brain injury...

My guest this week is Michelle Irving, who combines training with personal experience to offer mentorship and coaching around career and chronic illness. A gifted teacher, and a globally in-demand speaker and writer, Michelle is driven by a mission to de-shame and transform conversations around illness. Drawing upon her extensive training in somatic therapy, cancer survivorship, and women's leader...

Today I'm joined by Alison Tedford Seaweed: a Canadian consultant, author and mother who lives with hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome, chronic idiopathic urticaria and ADHD. Alison wrote a book called "Chronic Profit" about running a business while managing chronic pain and finds new ways to cope every day. In today's conversation, we discuss new, creative, and hilariously uplifting ways to rethi...

  In today's special bonus episode, I delve into the topic of navigating the holidays with loved ones while dealing with chronic illness. The holiday season can be both joyous and challenging, especially when we want to connect with family and friends who may not fully understand our health challenges. In today's episode, I discuss the importance of communication and setting clear expectations wit...

This week, I'm joined by returning guest, April Snow. She's a psychotherapist and author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person's Journal and The Mindfulness Workbook for Stress Relief. Specializing in working with highly sensitive people (HSPs), April's compelling experience in this vocation has greatly enhanced her profound understanding of what it means to live authentically. Together, we exp...

Welcome to a bonus episode of This is Not What I Ordered! I'm so excited to announce a special upcoming event. It's called the Abundant Living Conference for therapists with chronic illness and health challenges. We will hear presentations from clinicians Celia Hilson, Amanda Pratt, Andrea Barbour, Becky Robbins, Julie Novas, Michelle Horton, Onyx Fujii, Hayley Quinn, and Emily Whitish. They'll pr...

Welcome to the Season 3 Finale! In a year filled with COVID-19, a racial justice movement, wildfires, an election, and now the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, this has seemed like so much more than just one year. At this very important moment in time, I am so thankful that we have been able to stay connected through these episodes all along the way.   For today's finale, we will revisit each episode...

Podcasting has brought so much to my life, both as someone who loves hearing others' stories and as someone who wants to learn from the experiences of others. Hearing an array of experiences is what makes This is Not What I Ordered so powerful to me, and to listeners, as well.   Today's episode touches a bit on how podcasting is a form of therapy — both for the hosts, the guests, and the listeners...

Today's episode marks the second part of my conversation with relational therapist, social justice educator, intuitive narrative coach, and social justice consultant for the podcast, Celia Hilson, which we started in Episode 66. As we find ourselves in the midst of a racial justice movement and a pandemic, this special conversation about race is as enlightening as it is necessary. We begin this we...

This week I'm sitting with Celia Hilson, who's returned to the podcast after joining me on Season 2 (Episode 28). Celia is a relational therapist, social justice educator, and intuitive narrative coach fostering cross-cultural understanding. She helps clients to heal through remembering and reclaiming lost parts of identities. Celia has joined me over the past few months not only as my friend, but...

We've had couples on the podcast, we've had reunions, we've had "quarantine chats." This week, I'm bringing you a friendship "roundtable" with the lovely Sherry Espinoza and Melissa Platt. You may recognize those names because they've both been on the podcast before — but not like this. This episode is a lighthearted and sweet chat amongst friends. Sherry and Melissa, who met in the Shine Your Lig...

In this week's episode of This is Not What I Ordered, I'm taking you along for a little reunion. I recently caught up with Erynn & Leo Newman, who are "frequent flyers" here on the podcast. Leo, who was a guest way back in Episode 11, and his wife Erynn, were the first couple interviewed for the podcast in Episode 32. Married for over 14 years, they've weathered their fair share of challenges. I r...

Today's episode is a bit different than most of the ones you'll hear on This is Not What I Ordered. Instead of an interview with a single guest or couple, I was able to connect with Lily Sloane and Latasha Doyle, two of the people on our podcast team. In light of everything going on in the world, and with heightened anxiety and worry for many in the chronic illness community, we decided to discuss...

Coming to terms with chronic illness is something we're all trying to do. Kristina Sarkisova is on the podcast this week talking about her journey to acceptance, and what the process has looked (and felt) like.    Her diagnosis of Lyme disease was a long time coming, and even now she's not entirely sure it's the perfect fit for her specific symptoms and situation. But it's enough for her. So many...

This was such a special conversation with Ijmal Haider (of "Hidden Spoons" and the "Help Us" YouTube channel). Having lived with Ulcerative Colitis for several years and spearheading many events, projects, and organizations geared towards supporting people with chronic illness, he is the definition of an awesome patient advocate.   Together, we chatted about some of his challenging moments that ha...

On today's episode, I'm joined by Dr. Monica Ellis-Blied, a licensed psychologist, health coach, and chair yoga instructor living in California.   In 2012, Monica was diagnosed with lupus. Over the last eight years, she has come to terms with the idea that the word "healthy" is not a one-size-fits-all term. She also reminds us that it's OK to throw pity parties (complete with balloons and German C...

Melinda Laus has always felt "different." From her earliest memories, she struggled with asthma, allergies, and feeling like her body just worked differently than other bodies did. After working throughout childhood and adolescence to get her asthma and allergies under control, she thought she had her body somewhat "figured out." When she experienced the tragic loss of her husband when she was 32,...

In this episode, I'm joined by Andy McLellan, a haiku poet and trainee Zen priest living in Canterbury, UK.   Nearly 25 years ago, when Andy was in the midst of obtaining his PhD, he began experiencing symptoms he assumed were associated with stress. Shortly after graduating, however, he came down with glandular fever and collapsed, never fully recovering.   Over the next 20 years, Andy would rece...

Dealing with an invisible health challenge can be beyond frustrating. But what happens when a traditionally invisible illness becomes manifest? And how do we cope with the visual symptoms of our conditions? That's what I'm talking to Lashana Taylor about on this episode of This is Not What I Ordered.    Diagnosed November 2018 with primary progressive multiple sclerosis, Lashana finally had an ans...

In this episode, I'm joined by Michelle Horton, a close friend and fellow therapist.   In the middle of finishing grad school and planning a wedding, Michelle went in for a routine blood test, which showed an abnormally high platelet count. After this finding, a whirlwind of tests and doctors determined that she had essential thrombocytosis and endometriosis. She was 23.    After that, Michelle ha...

On this week's episode, I'm bringing back the Couple's Edition of This is Not What I Ordered to share an intimate and insightful discussion with Shane and Latasha Doyle. Latasha (who you may remember from Episode 53) and her husband Shane joined me in my own living room to talk about their life together. As many of you know, Latasha is the shownotes and transcription writer for the podcast. And as...