The Shallow End

The Shallow End Episode 231: Porch Pirate Karma and the Woman Who Declared War on Delivery Robots A porch pirate picks the wrong driveway, and a 78-year-old woman goes to war with the robots. Just another day in the shallow end of the gene pool. First, JG takes us to Mississauga, Ontario, where an attempted package theft becomes a spectacular exercise in instant karma. When a homeowner catches a w...

A teenage robber walks into a convenience store on Christmas Eve, waves a gun around, and demands money. Unfortunately for him, the man behind the counter has a few surprises of his own. Meanwhile, a Wisconsin woman decides she's going to become a substitute teacher. No credentials. No authorization. No apparent interest in actually teaching. What could possibly go wrong? This week on The Shallow...

A bank robber disappears inside a 21-story apartment building while police close in. A short time later, he turns up badly injured in the basement—with the stolen cash still on him. His escape involved one of the worst plans in criminal history: a garbage chute, a 210-foot fall, and an astonishing amount of luck. Then, Polaroid was once one of America’s most innovative companies, transforming phot...

This week, The Shallow End opens the mailbag—and apparently our listeners have been making questionable decisions all over the world. First, a listener in Germany discovers that noise-canceling earbuds work perhaps a little too well when a forgotten pot of rice bursts into flames. Then an innocent RV hookup mistake turns into one of the most horrifying sewage-related experiences ever submitted to...

Some bad ideas take careful planning. Others apparently require a counterfeit money operation, Abraham Lincoln’s corpse, and absolutely no consideration for how much a lead-lined coffin weighs. This week on The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth, we travel back to 1876 for one of the strangest criminal schemes in American history: a gang of counterfeiters who decided the solution to their business...

A homesick teenager makes the worst travel decision in aviation history: in 1965, Brian Robson had friends nail him into a wooden crate and ship him from Australia toward Wales as air freight. When the crate is rerouted to Los Angeles—and turned upside down—his 36-hour plan becomes a horrifying four-day ordeal. Then, a legally blind, unlicensed Englishman with four bottles of wine in his system de...

A stolen SUV chase in Florida takes an unexpected turn when a herd of dairy cows decides to assist law enforcement—herding a fleeing suspect straight toward the fence and into custody. Then, a solo sailor attempting to cross the Pacific from California to Hawaii loses his mast, fuel, navigation, and eventually his fresh water… yet somehow survives for more than six weeks using PVC pipe, kayak padd...

A man drifts 23 miles into the Mediterranean on an inflatable mattress, armed with little more than a piece of wood and a wildly misplaced sense of confidence. Then, an aspiring bodybuilder develops an unconventional training regimen involving steroids, zero exercise and up to 24 beers a day—before wandering away from the competition to visit a pub. Plus, a listener learns why garage-door cables s...

A man goes looking for another drink and somehow ends up at the center of one of the most bizarre jewelry heists imaginable—complete with stolen construction equipment, a handful of gold, and possibly the least intimidating getaway vehicle in criminal history. Then, a woman in New Zealand suffers cardiac arrest in a supermarket parking lot and is miraculously revived by a passing stranger. But whi...

A stolen front-end loader leads Massachusetts police on the slowest “high-speed” chase in history—topping out at a blistering 15 miles per hour. Then, a Florida man escapes from a secure mental health facility using a stolen key card, locks the employees inside, and disappears for six days—despite already having 18 outstanding warrants. Schnebley and Toth dive into two true stories featuring heavy...

A good alibi can keep you out of prison—unless it leads police directly to 84 packets of heroin. This week on The Shallow End, Jethro tells the story of a West Virginia bank robbery suspect who proved he was innocent by confessing to an entirely different crime. Then, Lindsay heads to Florida, where a man allegedly steals $7,000 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets and repeatedly returns to the sc...

Some criminals spend months planning the perfect crime... then ruin everything with one unbelievably dumb mistake. This week on The Shallow End, Jethro and Schnebly dive into true stories of criminals who practically handed detectives the evidence. From Googling crime scenes and leaving phones behind to wearing GPS ankle monitors during burglaries, these are the real-life cases where the suspects...

What happens when criminals and thrill-seekers make spectacularly bad decisions? In this classic episode of The Shallow End, an 82-year-old grandmother in Rochester, New York, proves that appearances can be dangerously misleading when a late-night home invader discovers she's an award-winning champion powerlifter. Armed with whatever she can get her hands on, Willie Murphy delivers a lesson he'll...

This week on The Shallow End, one innocent armadillo proves that sometimes nature really does fight back. After a Texas homeowner decides the best way to deal with a wandering armadillo is with a .38 revolver, the laws of physics intervene in spectacular fashion, leaving him with a shattered jaw, a helicopter ride, and one of the strangest wildlife stories ever reported. Then it's off to Mississip...

A simple photo of dinner turned into a financial nightmare after one woman accidentally shared a restaurant QR code online—and internet trolls responded. It's one of the strangest examples yet of how everyday technology can go spectacularly wrong. Then, a heartbreaking crime takes an unexpected turn. After a thief steals the cash from two young siblings' lemonade stand, their community rallies in...

Some people make mistakes. Others commit to them. This week on The Shallow End, JG and Jethro dive into two unbelievable true stories where one bad decision somehow keeps getting worse. First, a Florida traffic stop takes an astonishing turn when a routine arrest leads to an X-ray scanner, a mysterious "anomaly," and one of the most creative excuses police have heard in years. Then it's off to New...

From people who think Spain is in South America to someone convinced milk isn't dairy, this episode of The Shallow End dives headfirst into some of the funniest—and most bewildering—examples of internet ignorance ever posted online. Are Americans really getting dumber, or are social media algorithms simply rewarding spectacular confidence? Then it's off to Florida, where a heated pickleball disput...

Here's an SEO-focused Shallow End episode description that leans into the absurdity, true-crime foolishness, and "poor decision making" theme that runs through both stories: This week in The Shallow End, we celebrate becoming the 12th most popular podcast in the category of "Foolishness" by doing what we do best: examining spectacularly bad decisions. First, a Michigan woman nearly loses more than...

In this episode of The Shallow End, Schnebly and Toth explore two stories that raise an uncomfortable question: Is modern civilization running on competence... or just paperwork and confidence? First, the guys dive into the bizarre case of a former airline captain who allegedly flew commercial passenger jets for nearly 17 years without holding the specific pilot certification required for the job....

What happens when criminals forget how gasoline works? Or when a dog accidentally becomes the prime suspect in a drive-by shooting? This week on The Shallow End, JG and Lindsay dive into two true stories that sound completely made up—but absolutely aren't. First, a pair of aspiring arsonists discover that fire has very strong opinions about gasoline, leading to one of the fastest criminal career c...

Would you say "yes" after a fake armed robbery? One Colombian man staged a terrifying mock carjacking complete with motorcycles, masked accomplices, and a gun—only to drop to one knee and propose marriage. Then, Jethro and Lindsay dive into the bizarre true story of a South Carolina pastor who landed in jail after church services became so loud that neighbors, police, and city officials finally ha...

Two grown men attempt to answer life’s biggest questions:How far should you go to retrieve your car keys from a porta-potty? How many beers does it take before 911 becomes Coors Light customer service? And exactly where should you not squat in the English countryside? In this hilariously disastrous episode of The Shallow End, JG and Lindsay dive headfirst into a collection of true stories involvin...

In this episode of The Shallow End, Jethro and Lindsay dive headfirst into one of the strangest crimes in Texas history: the infamous 1927 Santa Claus Bank Robbery. A gun-toting Kris Kringle storms a bank in Cisco, Texas, sparks a downtown shootout, kidnaps two young girls in a stolen Model T, and launches one of the wildest manhunts the Lone Star State has ever seen. It’s Christmas chaos, Texas v...

On this classic episode of The Shallow End, we dive headfirst into one of the most absurd workplace disaster stories imaginable: the tale of a janitor inside a world-class research facility whose unbelievably bad decisions spiraled into total chaos. It’s a hilarious real-life reminder that sometimes the biggest threat to science isn’t a supervillain… It’s a guy with a mop and absolutely no common...

What happens when humans push things just a little too far… and nature pushes back harder? In this wildly unpredictable episode of The Shallow End, we kick things off with a surreal, full-circle moment—meeting legendary singer-songwriter James Taylor and reflecting on unexpected life connections that somehow all collide at once. But then… things take a sharp turn. First up: a suburban Massachusett...