The Semi-Professionals

We love the Matrix! One of us thought the Wachowski's were a super talented family of 4 siblings. One of us was fairly new to the Matrix. One of us got nightmares from this film as a kid. The One of us never saw the end of the Matrix because dad taped Blade over the end of the VHS. Plug in - lets go!

What happen when lil Theo baby daddy out of jail n mummas clappin her cheeks on light skin elf shootin those arrows pinpoint accurate evry night. u saw him squeeze cow tiddy don’t play like he ain’t givin her juicin and sendin that milk back home for tha boys so they can be sippin on it long trip home to gray havens SHE FOR THE STREETS #cityboysup

A few questions that will be answered today:  Is it possible to understand a subtitled Japanese movie while you are focusing on rolling pizza dough? 絶対にありません Are both famous Kurosawa directors related? 繰り返しますが、間違いなくそうではありません Is the guess the budget game as much fun when played with yen vs. dollars? いいえ、そうではありません Are pink slip movies movies about cars...

Uncle Ben's death hit Aunt May HARD. 1 like = 1 prayer 

Lush Argentinian mountain ranges, clean streets, big houses, beautiful and well educated citizens, mixed showers, space war, regenerative goop, nipples... Which part of this was supposed to be the hellish vision of the future? DO YOUR PART! LISTEN NOW!

Who is Mr. W A N G? How many Chunnel drills do we have access to? Does the nose play? Is the Mexican strike the best scene ever written? Why are these loglines so hard? Expect no answers in this weeks episode. Watch the Quiz on our YouTube channel

How many faberge eggs would have to be made to pull the heist off. Put on your capoeira trousers and queue the eurotrash elektro beats. Let’s find out!

Welcome to the Season 2 of The Semi-Professionals. The pod we're about to propose to you is both highly lucrative and highly dangerous. If that doesn't seem like your particular brand of vodka, help yourself to Joe Rogan, and have a safe drive home (but at some point try and put the pod on while on your way home if you can, even if you turn it all the way down, it's good for numbers etc.) 

If you're sick of basing your brooding personality on Patrick Bateman, or Driver, look no further than Connie from Good Time. For the price of bleach and a security jacket, you too can get your own brother sectioned. (Don't approach any minors).  

I miss the days when spying on lovers with a microphone in the middle of the night was just mildly annoying. Remember to hit record this Friday. (Don't hit record, that's piracy, hit play. You wouldn't steal a car)

You've never heard any podcast like the podcast you'll hear Friday. 

Listener, you are under arrest for the pre-crime of not enjoying this podcast. 

Hello there. Join us for another happy landing this Friday. 

Kiss, Marry, Kill - Dex, Cleeg or Lama-su. 

Hallolo weesa travelling to a galaxy far far away deesa week. Hyperdrive to maximum, yipeeee!... Please like, share and subscribe. It's all we have.

To get into the headspace of the socially inept Raymond, it’s said that Dustin Hoffman started a weekly film podcast where he played dress up with four grown men. 

Alexander Payne has invented a real-life downsizing machine to shrink all the haters of this film, but has yet to build a miniature city big enough to house them all. Open your hearts and homes to a mini-refugee this Friday. #payneispain #prayfortheesmol

Struggling to contribute to the global conversation about Russia/Ukraine? Become less informed Friday. 

Did you know if you had no money and wanted to take a bus, the driver would have to accept a postage stamp as payment, as anything that contains the Queen’s image is classified as legal tender? Delivery's due Friday. 

Will the bat-ears soon become too cute for the ever-darkening bat-universe? Is the dam breaking and everything being made to flood into Gotham without any real thought as to why it made it into the movie and whether it’s going to make things too messy and unfollowable a metaphor for Hurricane Katrina? How long before Riddler has an Onlyfans? Tuesday’s pod is for your ears only baby, just monzo me...

Could we ever forgive this film for forming an entire generation of ukulele-hipster-soft-boi’s? It is time to call off the relationship if you’re taken to a spaceship themed motel? Is it possible to pay to live in a house with a rough-around-the-edges Gosling for two months? Hubba hubba. Rent’s due Friday.

Is understanding the tuck-back as a kid the litmus test for a troubled childhood? Doesn’t everyone have the right to change genders and kidnap a dolphin? Did Jim Carrey know he’d go from literally talking out of his ass in movies to metaphorically talking out of his ass in real life? Spread those cheeks Friday

IMDb Parents Guide: - Severe - There are several sex scenes with female breast & buttocks nudity. The uncut version contains one brief close up view of an erect penis from the side, juxtaposed with a nude woman, as he pulls out during sex. Come and listen this Friday. 

Was it MLK that originally said ‘the true measure of a man is how ugly his bich is?’ Who would ever divorce Brad Pitt anyway (in a movie)? What fucking algorithm is needed for this podcast to crack 1k followers? Numbers are in Friday.

Is trusting a convicted criminal to save the world corporate negligence? Are global pandemic movies a bit old-hat nowadays? How comes no one noticed Bill Gates is credited as ‘Advisor on the Logistics of Releasing a Virus’?… Don’t forget to wear your masks Friday.