The Pretender

Jay shares his experience as a home school Dad and how one very difficult question from his son allowed him to appreciate God's love for humanity. Jay also shares the great response he gave to his son to the question – "Why do you still love me?". Resources & Links: What is Homeschooling? Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) Curriculum Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love towards us,...

Jay and his guest take the approach to discussing the different phases of life through the music we tend to play during the experience. We pick only the top 10 songs on the personal playlist and ask why those songs in that phase and share the lessons and different experiences that influenced that choice.   Resources & Links:   Koko's Top 10 Playlist 1. Sweet Victory - Trip Lee 2. Luc...

Jay shares his recent experience of losing his beloved dog Ginger. In doing so he explains how much saying goodbye to the dog was more about letting go of a part of his life that he hasn't shared and a reminder that death of man or beast will always be a sad consequence of the fall of man until God restores his own order of life. Resources & Links: From dust to dust - Ecclesiastes 3:18-21 Pet...

Jay talks about healing from personal life events from both a physical, emotional and spiritual sense. During times of difficulty, tragedy, failure, illness or any valleys of life; it's often easy to get stuck into the weeds and thorns that life is. It's easier to give up than having to face the aftermath of an event, but ultimately , we must get there to heal. Jay also plays a guitar at the end o...

In this episode, Jay recounts a conversation he had with a late friend about suffering and draws perspective from it today. Dedicated to M.N.M. - Still sadly missed.   Resources:   The story of the man born blind Afflicted Saint, to Christ draw near   Quotable : "…we shouldn't always claim to know or even explain the reason we suffer because frankly we don't know why certain things...

Jay recounts his love for basketball and the pain from it. He talks about why he is ready to quit – a true depiction of the impact the recent injury and process of recovery has had on him thus far. A little glimpse on some feelings that pain can bring out in all of us.   Resources: The story of King David in the Bible   Quotable : "I have counted the cost, I have embraced the pain for to...

In November of 2016, Jay underwent a surgical procedure to repair his left Achilles tendon after it completely ruptured. He made full recovery in a record 6-7 months and went back to playing his beloved basketball.   Well, seven full years later on the 16th of October 2023; Jay devastatingly went through the same procedure on his other leg. This experience agonizingly has brought so much shoc...

In this episode Jay pens a letter of apology to all the people in his life that he let down by choosing his own path. He gets a little personal in saying sorry for the unrealized potential that he left to pursue his own enterprise and how he is at peace with the fruits of that process 7 years later. Everyone of us needs a therapy session, Jay just thought his was saying sorry.   Resources: &n...

Jay talks to Joseph Kayaya about being yourself, living your life to the fullest, his love for running and we delve deep into his experience with dealing with the death of his Dad as well as mental health. We also get to enjoy more of his trademark daily doses as he shares them on the podcast.    Resources & Links : JK Daily Doses Ted Talk about grief (Nora McInerny) Lusaka Fitness S...

In this episode Jay talks about how life is taking him back to parts of his life that he left behind. He goes in circles talking about going back to old relationships including professional relationships even giving an analogy of puppies and dogs! Yes he was philosophical about this experience until he decided to finally get to the whole point of this episode - sharing how life has helped him reco...

In this episode Jay talks about the challenges and 'weirdness' of adult friendship. He shares his experience being blacked out by a long-time close friend, how he came to terms with it and how he views friendship now.   Resources: about friendship   Billy no-mates (Book Jay recommended)   Men, guard your friendships – heed the warning of the Banshees of Inisherin   When it come...

In this episode Jay reflects on his recent depression and health issues, as well as how he lost his creative ability and enthusiasm for writing. He talks about an interesting technique suggested by a friend to regain it all back. What technique was this, you might ask - Doodling! Finally Jay shares his entire doodle list that included all the activities he did just to stay afloat.   Resources...

Jay talks to his identical twin brother Ralf about the experience of leaving Africa to settle in Europe, his experience with the difficulty of childbearing and the the challenges of dealing with different cultures and mental health. They then share the secrets and stories of identical twins! Resources & Links: MacSpeedys (Jay & Ralf's 'sort of' favorite courier) Basketball player - Zion Wi...

In this episode Jay reflects on his recent unplanned hiatus and life as he shares his strange illness, tragic death of a friend and gratitude through it all. Safe to say he is back! Resources: Thorn in the flesh Quotable : " That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -Pau...

Jay talks to Alice-Mulo about her art, advocacy work in mental health and about her adult therapy coloring book (Free your mind, free yourself) - a first in Zambia. Resources & Links: Alice-Mulo 'Free your mind free yourself' adult therapy coloring book   Fortitude gallery Alice's work exhibitions OSISA Alice's social media handle: Facebook Twitter Instagram Quotable: "No matter how hard...

Jay continues the conversation with Tabo about her journey of life; they talk about how she copes with life's various challenges, they talk about her career and the power of a woman as a home maker and she also shares her experiences in starting a business and much more Resources & Links: Solwezi, NW, Zambia Permaculture, Geoff Lawton Virtuous Woman (Proverbs 31:10-31) GreenPole Farm Connector...

Jay talks to Tabo about her journey of life; the challenges she has faced as woman in her aviation career, her time living in Western Australia, returning home to Africa and the challenges that presented for her family. She also shares her experiences in starting a business and much more Resources & Links: Solwezi, NW, Zambia Livingstone, Zambia Lusaka, Zambia Princess Margaret Children's Hosp...

Jay talks to Mrs. Pretender herself, his wife Serah about how she has walked with him through this journey and she airs out how she has borne the brunt of the pain as well as what helped them hold it together in their most difficult times.. Resources & Links: School of Tomorrow Homeschool curriculum Quotable: "I think As a parent if you decide to have a child, it's your responsibility to make...

The Pretender podcast is back for a new season. Here's a Preview of what's to come in season 2.

In this excerpt from episode 16, Jonathan talks about how at one point in his journey he was really down and fighting for survival, how he almost gave up. Then he also challenges believers and Christians to come in the open and be real with their struggles..   Listen to the full episode here     The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled 1000 Feet &nb...

In this excerpt from episode 11, Pete talks about intermittent fasting, gives insight on self-discipline and how we should listen to our body.   Listen to the full episode here     The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled 1000 Feet   Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at jacobsi...

In this excerpt from episode 14, Mandy talks openly about marriage and how despite the challenges she faced she feels she is living her best life.   Listen to the full episode here     The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled 1000 Feet   Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at jac...

In this season finale Jay reflects on his recent birthday and life as he shares his gratitude for all things thus far.       The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled " 1000 Feet"   Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at jacobsiwiti@acquifersolutions.com

Jay reprises about why he started The Pretende r podcast and breaks down some of the reasons he is the original Pretender. He summarizes why he exposed his struggles and for whom he does the show.   Resources & Links:   Definition of Pretender: one who makes a false or hypocritical show   Quotable: " I have said these things to you, that  in me you may have peace. In t...

Jay talks about the difficulty of being unable to help someone you care about; especially if you see them going to ruin. He shares his experience with this in his life and asks wonders how he could've saved the life of someone in his life. The touching part of it is that he still hasn't figured that out yet.   Resources & Links: The Great Gatsby Song Jay mentioned - How to save a life by...