The Paws and Reflect podcast

First drafted in Everglades National Park, after a week of mesmerizing nature experiences. Paddling a designated mangrove trail, I cringe as our inflatable kayak rubs the bottom of the pond. “We’re stirring up the mud,” I worry aloud. “How many organisms call this mud home?” Sean shakes his head. We turn around shortly after. By this point we’ve already seen five alligators (one swimming parallel...

Sean and I don’t regularly wear wedding rings. (The ones we do have are cheap nontraditional bands.) Our ceremony was short and, to be candid, kind of not a big deal. He did not only see me in my dress before our vows—he actually found my dress in the first place. I kept my last name. We rarely celebrate anniversaries beyond a “hey, look at the date!” nod. I am unduly proud of the ways we eschew m...

“She doesn’t require an ounce of management when people don’t expect her to be a Labrador” — summing up Scout’s ability to happily coexist with strangers We just spent a long weekend with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend in Miami. After we bade them farewell, I found myself gushing to Sean about how perfect Scout is (“I mean, she’s the most perfect creature to ever walk the planet, right?!”) a...

Drafted in Long Pine Key at Everglades National Park on February 12th, as a male and female cardinal danced outside the van’s open doors . Catherine Raven, a solitary biologist in the mountains of Montana, wrote about befriending a wild red canid in her memoir aptly titled Fox and I . The most magical moment in the book occurs one night when Fox brings his kits— baby foxes ! I nearly squeal with d...

Written on February 7th in late-afternoon shade at Everglades National Park, my keyboard clicks barely audible above the rhythm of pileated woodpeckers. Reading Maybe You Should Talk to Someone makes me realize (not for the first time, but I’m terrible at internalizing this morsel) the obvious: There is no finish line. There will never be a finish line. No streamers, no cheers, no clear-cut you di...

A couple walks two small dogs past our campsite. “Morning!” I reply to the man’s warm hello. I give Scout a treat, not because she needs it (there are still times where our use of food is more management than reward) but because it is a beautiful calm morning and she is a beautiful calm dog. “She’s so good,” croons the woman as they pass, chihuahuas’ legs working overtime to pull ahead. “Ours aren...

Clad in my bucket hat, saltwater dripping from day-old braids, I make Sean follow me outside for a celebratory photo. “You want a picture of the pie here ?” he asks, slightly incredulous as I try to balance the melting treat on uneven gravel. It’s heavier than you’d expect. “Yes,” I reply. “My key lime pie in our keys campsite!” Later he sends the picture to his mom. She says it looks delicious—an...

I meet my younger self for coffee. (She still only drinks chai tea.) How can I leave? she asks. This must be as good as it gets. I know she wakes up at three am gasping the opposite: This can’t be all there is . It isn’t. She dreams of good enough. She looks so small. She wonders how anyone can love her, and I’m ashamed of my flicker of agreement: I don’t tell her I look back as a stranger thinkin...

Inspired by a conversation with a friend and Joanna Bagniewska’s A Modern Bestiary . “Would you go to Mars?” I hesitated. “Safety guaranteed,” he added, tone suggesting an obvious answer. ( Who wouldn’t want to go to space? ) “I couldn’t.” There are no creatures on Mars: no fireflies, no frogs so small you can’t believe they exist, no rare snails on the edge of a hot spring’s pool. There are no sl...

Behind me at the coffee shop stands a man in a gray shirt with white letters. “Anti human,” reads the top line. “Pro dog,” completes the bottom. I almost laugh. I want to be the type of invested dog person who can still chuckle at jokes meant to be benign; who friends don’t hesitate to send viral animal videos out of fear I’ll latch onto questionable body language; who is not, in short, a killjoy...

“ A dog like that is too high energy for a small space. ” “ It’s cruel to keep an animal in a van. ” “ Dogs need yards. ” “ [Insert other skeptical comment here.] ” Living in a van with a sensitive dog isn’t simple. We all made sacrifices when we hit the road in January 2023—Scout included. While my partner and I discussed our plans for months, daydreamed for years before that, and knew exactly wh...

Three days ago I got a rejection email. It’s not important what it was for. When I first pitched, I remember telling Sean I didn’t even care much about the specific opportunity anyway. (“Why not try?” was the extent of my excitement. “Why not try!” he agreed.) But the rejection came after I spent a lethargic day at a public park, feeling simultaneously lonely and observed, and either “I didn’t car...

Sean and I recorded this on December 14th, three days after my eye surgery. Now I'm finally able to look at screens here and there to share it! Mostly a (somewhat silly) story of trying to make my drops suck less... but as usual the experience did make me think of some real dog connections too. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonu...

'Tis the season for holiday family time! We talk about how it can be (counterintuitively) harder to advocate for our dogs around loved ones than strangers, that it's okay to focus on humans-only activities sometimes, what our visits have looked like lately, and my very best advice for anyone who gets overwhelmed at social gatherings 🚐😉 Related links: How We Handle Traveling to See Family...

Sean and I sit down to talk about the ways I've struggled with ego, self-righteousness, and external opinions in life with Scout, including where I think the pressure came from initially. I feel more confident about our life together today than ever before — but wow, has it been a journey to get here. Some blog posts that address similar topics: What Level of Obedience is "Good Enough&quo...

Probably one of our least organized episodes to date (yes, that says something haha...) BUT Sean and I finally recorded another podcast! We reflect on our recent visit to New York City with Scout. Urban dogs & their people face so many challenges every day — it made me think about how adaptable our companions can be, how much work goes into taking good care of a canine in a city, how our envir...

Haley and Sean sit down to talk about fulfillment, a topic inspired by a very kind listener in a podcast review. We discuss what biological fulfillment means to us, what it does for us & Scout, how we try to find activities that fulfill our cattle dog, and a bit on how we conceptualize our human fulfillment too. Related blog links: Fulfillment checklist article Reasons We Play "Just" to Play O...

Sean and Haley sit down to record a podcast for the first time in a while after several weeks of transition. We're officially living full time in our converted van, Hermes! We talk about our first impressions of van life (we absolutely love it so far); how the small space has changed (and not changed) certain parts of our lives; Scout's fulfillment, confidence, and overall routine being on the roa...

Haley and Sean run through a (not comprehensive) list of phrases I've heard often in the dog world — particularly in online training communities — that I think have merit (I see where they're coming from and agree in some contexts) but can also be reductionist (too sweeping of a generalization, misconstrued in unproductive ways, otherwise taken too far). So much depends on our personal connotation...

Largely inspired by our recent experiences fostering, Sean and Haley sit down to talk about how every dog is an individual even within a single breed or home or other group. While domestic dogs do share many overarching traits, they also each bring their own quirks and preferences to the table. When we make space for that, it can be so fascinating and fun. When we get caught up in expecting all do...

Sean and Haley sit down to talk about fostering, which is clearly very top of mind lately. I am absolutely honored to have inspired some people with dogs like Scout (fearful, reactive, otherwise not social butterflies, etc) to open their homes to foster pets. I'd love to normalize the fact that creatures can coexist without directly interacting — it doesn't have to be "throw the dogs in the backya...

Sean and Haley are a little tired and frazzled today after some busy weeks... but we sit down to talk about our current foster dog, a seven-month-old puppy with a broken leg, and the emotional rollercoaster we've lived since picking her up on Monday morning. We cover: a brief overview of Mystic's condition and what's made this situation challenging, that it's okay to have big emotions and struggle...

Sean and Haley talk about social / observational learning with our dogs, how incredibly COOL and worthwhile those concepts are to explore, and also how they can fit into advocating for our pets. (Sometimes "showing our dog a person / dog / situation is okay" and "advocating for our dog" might sound contradictory, especially if we hear extreme statements at far ends of either spectrum, but they are...

Our van conversion will be finished in just three months! Sean and I sat down to answer some commonly asked questions about our choice to live in a van full-time along with a few build details. We go over: Why do we want to pursue van life in the first place? Why go through a conversion company for our build insteading of converting a van ourselves? Why buy our house a year and a half ago, and why...

Sean and Haley talk about balancing work, dog ownership, and other responsibilities with self care and messy emotions — specifically in the context of working from home. It's been easy for me to feel like a remote work schedule should automatically mean my days are more productive (I don't have a commute to drain my time, I'm with Scout for more of the day so can fit in short frequent play session...