The Lee Counseling Podcast

Most of us try to change by focusing on what we need to stop: stop overeating, stop drinking, stop scrolling, stop looking at pornography, stop reacting. But there may be a better question: What do you really want? In this episode, Matt explores seven deeper rewards that can motivate meaningful change: sanctuary, authenticity, vibrancy, integrity, intimacy, spirituality, and freedom. Drawing from...

Understanding why you struggle is an important step—but insight alone doesn't create change. In this episode, Matt shares a personal story about anxiety and explores the third stage of growth: conscious competence . You'll learn why healing requires both attention and intention , along with practical tools that can help you respond rather than simply react. To receive the weekly Therapy Th...

This episode expands on Therapy Thoughts #25: The Hardest Part of Healing. What happens when you finally realize something isn't working—but you don't yet know how to change it? In this episode, Matt continues the conversation on Noel Burch's Four Stages of Competence by exploring the often most difficult stage of growth: conscious incompetence . Whether it's your marriage, family, leadership, or...

What if the patterns keeping you stuck are the very patterns you can’t see? In this episode of the Lee Counseling Podcast, Matthew explores the Four Stages of Competence and how they can help us understand emotional growth, trauma, relationships, and even family or organizational systems. Sometimes growth begins with an uncomfortable realization: I didn’t know what I didn’t know. But awareness isn...

This episode is an expansion of Therapy Thoughts #023 . If you'd like to receive my free weekly Therapy Thoughts email in your inbox, you can subscribe at www.leecounselingks.com/resources . Why do we keep telling the same painful stories? And why do we sometimes find ourselves repeating the same unhealthy patterns? In this episode of the Lee Counseling Podcast , I share a personal story from earl...

What does it mean to live a life that is not just longer, but fuller? In this episode, Matthew reflects on the phrase, "I want to add years to my life and life to my years," and explores how the quality of our relationships profoundly shapes the quality of our lives. Drawing from attachment theory and the work of Dr. Sue Johnson, he discusses why we long to be accessible, responsive, and...

What happens inside of us doesn’t stay inside of us. In this episode of The Lee Counseling Podcast, Matthew explores how our inner formation eventually shapes the atmosphere around us—our marriages, families, friendships, churches, and communities. Drawing on Galatians 5, virtue formation, and interpersonal neurobiology, this conversation examines how pride, envy, greed, aggression, and anxiety qu...

In this short bonus episode, Matthew shares a simple April workout challenge—and how it became a powerful picture of how virtue is actually formed. Through small, daily reps that gradually increased over time, he discovered something many of us miss: lasting change doesn’t come from big moments, but from consistent, repeated choices. He also reflects on the role of community in sustaining growth a...

Why would a counseling podcast spend time talking about virtues and vices? In this first episode of the Virtue Formation series, Matthew explores the surprising overlap between modern clinical psychology and ancient spiritual wisdom. Drawing from interpersonal neurobiology, habit science, and years of pastoral ministry, this episode introduces a hopeful vision of change: not behavior management, b...

Healthy friendships don’t just support us — they help shape us. In Part 2 of Friends that Heal , Matthew and Jon explore what makes relationships truly transformative. Moving beyond vulnerability alone, this conversation highlights the importance of both encouragement and challenge — what therapists sometimes call attunement and containment . Together, they discuss why real growth often feels slow...

In this guest episode, Matthew sits down with longtime friend Jon Kreutzweiser to explore what healthy male friendship actually looks like . Their relationship developed over many years but deepened during a difficult season when Matthew reached out for support while his late wife Jill was receiving treatment in Mexico. Together they discuss vulnerability, consistency, and why honest friendships a...

Can attachment patterns actually change? In this episode, we explore how real change happens—not simply through understanding our patterns, but through experiencing something different in relationships. Using the story of “Mark,” a leader in a high-demand role, we see how a simple conversation about cleaning the garage reveals how quickly our nervous systems move into protection. Through awareness...

This bonus episode was originally recorded as a video training, designed to help clients better understand anxiety. In it, I walk through anxiety from two complementary perspectives: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and Polyvagal Theory. If you’ve ever wondered why anxiety feels so powerful, why it seems to spiral, or why insight alone doesn’t always calm it, this episode will help you make sens...

Over the next few episodes, we’re focusing on something foundational: healing through healthy connection. This episode lays the groundwork by exploring why we often try to carry life alone—and why that strategy, while protective, may be costing us intimacy and peace. If you’ve ever thought, “I should be able to handle this on my own,” this episode is for you. We’ll explore how attachment patterns...

In this episode of The Lee Counseling Podcast, we move beyond what to do in the moment and explore how emotional regulation is formed over time. While performance matters in real-life situations—conflict at work, tension at home, pressure in leadership—lasting change comes through practice. Drawing from neuroscience, counseling frameworks, and everyday examples, this episode explores how repetitio...

Why do we keep doing things we know we don’t want to do? Late-night junk food. One more drink. Habits that don’t align with who we want to be—yet somehow feel irresistible in the moment. In this bonus episode, Matt slows the conversation down and offers a grounded, compassionate framework for understanding and interrupting unwanted behaviors. Rather than chasing quick fixes or relying on sheer wil...

In the first episode of The Lee Counseling Podcast , Matt introduces the show's heart and sets the tone for practical, grounded conversations about mental health, faith, and connection. This episode explores emotional regulation—why we sometimes react in ways that don’t reflect who we want to be —and what’s happening in our nervous system when that happens. Drawing from the work of Dan Siegel...