The Everyday Human

September: On Friendship and Connection September 24 The laughter and silliness shared with my friends was fun and goofy, and while, to a degree, these friendships served to help me through some of the toughest times I had growing up, I also laughed and goofed around for the sake of laughing and goofing around. Staying up late, playing video games, or watching silly movies and cracking up until ou...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 23 Someone being there for you, you being there for someone. To have another to sit with you and share in your sorrow, that is a sort of rescue in itself. And while someone is with you, you’re able to experience it for yourself . . . this very human thing of being broken by emotion. You’re able to let the pain feed on you. To let it bury its fangs...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 22 Nothing good can ever come from burying the truth—however big or small, truth is truth. That being said, it usually starts with something small, doesn’t it? A white lie that you “get away with.” Intentional or not, it becomes easier to lie after that—about something just a little bigger, maybe, and then bigger than that until there’s a graveyard...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 21 I’ve never had friends like the ones I had when I was twelve again, because it isn’t possible. That was a select pane in the stained-glass window of my life. Those friendships and experiences I had in 1997 could only exist in that moment and place in time. I don’t talk to those guys anymore either, sometimes I wonder how they’re doing, what they...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 20 About two hours later, I feel a gentle shaking on my shoulder. It takes a moment to remember who I am, where I am, and who might be waking me. “I could use some rest,” Esdras says, though somehow, he still doesn’t look tired. “Sure, buddy,” I say, getting up to give him my spot on the bench. Evan’s still sleeping, but that’s fine. A few more hou...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 19 I am fortunate to have a circle of friends and collaborators who do this for me, and I, in turn, do it for them. Many of my closest friends today also work in the arts. It was the act of creation that drew us together in the first place—comics, games, novels, short stories, poetry. When I send a script to an artist I regularly work with, they’ll...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 18 Have you ever truly considered the why of friendships and partnerships? What is the purpose of these odd and growing or decaying things? I might wager it’s to make this thing called life enjoyable. Or perhaps to have someone to share in and ease the inevitable suffering that we must endure at one time or another. It’s to not wander alone along t...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 17 Missing someone can be a healthy thing in a relationship. “Absense makes the heart grow fonder” is a cliche for a reason. Space in any relationship, plutonic, familial, or romantic, is key. Without it, we can so easily smother each other. Time for solitude and seeing or speaking with other people is essential to see a relationship thrive. In a h...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 16 You are a fragile thing. One betrayal, you can get over that. You can find more in your heart to give to others. Two? Maybe. Three? Well, the more you feel that knife in your back, the less likely you are to let your guard down and trust others in the future, and it can soon become a lonely and paranoid existence. As we said, it’s a very human t...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 15 And there is something strange and mysterious about danger and death that latches on to each end of the thread and yanks it quickly and mercilessly until it is taut. It comes about from natural disasters, accidents, wars, shared traumatic events. When the waters recede, when the tinkling of broken glass and the hissing of the destroyed radiator...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 14 There is a version of us that we shouldn’t have to water down or bend or make logical or force to fit the current fashion. Yes, if you’re a creative, you must be yourself. Now it is more important than ever, I believe. But just as a human, too—there needs to be an outlet for the true you. You have to be able to throw all of those hats away, even...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 13 I think, in order to lead a fulfilling life, we can and must do three things (or maybe two if you look at it through Stevenson’s lens): love, serve, and create. And while it is possible to love oneself and create for oneself, to serve oneself might be a stretch sometimes (though you must care for yourself, which is a sense of service, I suppose)...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 12 A gift is not a utilitarian act. Sure, you could give someone something they “need” like a tool or a car (who actually gives cars other than the weirdos in car commercials at Christmas time?), but that sort of gift might soon be forgotten. No, a gift—a true gift with meaning—is a symbol. It’s a physical representation or manifestation of the bon...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 11 In another life you are a warrior-chief made of stone and flesh. You train your people endlessly against the threat of invasion, or for the promise of expanding your territory. You take them to the highest peaks of the mountains to slay the winds and into the darkest depths of the cavernous continent below the surface to batter the shadows. You...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 10 Sometimes the measure of a friendship can be weighed by the trouble you find yourself in—by fault of your own or not—and the friends you can’t trust to let you face it alone. Is it who you expected it to be? Or is that person nowhere to be found when you need them? Or is it someone else? Someone you never thought would come to your aid? You can’...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 9 Joy is a beautiful thing that can be felt individually, but is somehow all the more sweeter when sharing it with a friend. The next time you stumble upon a little bit of joy, make it a point to share it with your partner, friend, colleague, whoever—you’ll make their day, and you’ll be a little better off for it. Reflection title: Plenty To Go Aro...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 8 Humans are not meant to be lonely and without companionship. We aren’t made for it. Our minds and bodies deteriorate in isolation (not to be confused with a controlled amount of healthy solitude). Isolation is even used as a punishment or form of torture. Touch, smiles, laughter, conversations, presence—these are essential things to strip one of....

September: On Friendship and Connection September 7 The art of listening and conversing and truly hearing one another is a critical aspect of what makes us human. It’s a major component of how we begin, nurture, and continue relationships. At the root of almost every friendship, marriage, or familial relationship that has ended is the erosion or complete breakdown of communication. This may lead t...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 6 Companionship, where it is most profound and in its most natural state, is in the silence. The quiet moments—sitting together in a car on a long drive, sitting at the table over a meal or cup of coffee, walking a path in the woods or walking the block—without ever the need to speak or fill the air for fear of silence. In its most natural state, f...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 5 Maybe it’s that your memory has altered and obscured the events of your past, trimmed the edges or punched holes through the middles to fit the shape of the puzzle you’re placing them into. That’s likely it.  Not a bad thing. We all do it. It’s how we grow and get by. But what if someone saw the real truth of you? Saw through those lies you tell...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 4 I’ve learned to not only accept that friendships ending is a part of life, but also to love it. Amor fati, am I right? We’re all waves in the big ocean of humanity. Some of us cross paths for a brief time, and for whatever reason, we continue on our separate ways, carried by the currents. And some of those waves collide, making a single larger wa...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 3 While it’s an interesting exercise to reflect on the precise moment a friendship forms and why it forms—those commonalities or shared events—I don’t think that’s very important at all in the scheme of things. I think what’s more important is the fact that they ever formed in the first place . . . and that they lasted . . . or maybe even didn’t la...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 2 The princess takes the seraph’s hand and without speaking, they sit in the field. The goldenrod and asters and wild carrot bloom and die around them and then bloom and die again and so do these travelers in the field, because things like Life and Death have no place here—Time sees to that. Because what else might they be up to existing and not ex...

September: On Friendship and Connection September 1 It is beautiful, yes, but remember—and I must remind myself of this very often—friendship and companionship are indeed like plants that need nurturing. They are not the hearty wild onion or thistle that can spring up and stand strong in both deluge and drought. These relationships need checking in on, good soil, sunlight, pruning. As I’m sure you...

August: On Wonder and Awe August 31 We are a part of these wild and beautiful things contained on Earth. We are fortunate to have developed consciousness and to be able to recognize the life and wonder around us. We are privileged to breathe this air and cultivate this land and to work with the animals and each other to survive. And we have the privilege of looking up at the stars, those beautiful...