fr

Nurtured First

Robot Unicorn

Join me, Jess VanderWier, a registered psychotherapist, mom of three, and founder of Nurtured First, along with my husband Scott, as we dive deep into the stories of our friends, favourite celebrities, and influential figures. In each episode, we skip the small talk and dive into vulnerable and honest conversations about topics like cycle breaking, trauma, race, mental health, parenting, sex, religion, postpartum, healing, and loss. We are glad you are here. PS: The name Robot Unicorn comes from our daughter. When we asked her what we should name the podcast, she confidently came up with this...

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Auteur

Nurtured First

Catégorie

Kids

Site du podcast

nurturedfirst.com

Dernier épisode

12 oct. 2026

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Épisodes

“I Only Want Mommy!!”: Understanding Parental Preference 27.10.2025

Why do children sometimes show a clear preference for one parent over the other? In this episode, Jess and Scott explore the psychology and science of parental preference. Drawing on attachment theory, developmental research, and family dynamics studies, we break down why children choose favourites, what influences these patterns, and how parents can respond in ways that strengthen connection, red...

Friendship For Girls: Drama, Cliques, And Learning To Belong 20.10.2025

Why do friendship conflicts feel so catastrophic for young girls? This week, Jess and Scott dive deep into the complex world of girl friendship drama, exploring why the tween and teen years are a hotbed for relational aggression like gossip, exclusion, and social maneuvering. Learn the crucial difference between normal conflict and bullying that requires your intervention. This episode is packed w...

How To Use Playfulness As A Powerful Parenting Tool 13.10.2025

In this episode, Jess and Scott dive into the incredible power of shifting from a serious, stern approach to a playful one. They explore the brain science behind why play is a child's natural language, making them more receptive and cooperative. Discover the crucial difference between being playful and permissive, and learn how to maintain firm boundaries while still having fun. You'll leave with...

Q&A: ADHD, Skeptical Partners, and Staying Connected After Kids 06.10.2025

We're opening up the floor and answering your most-asked questions in this listener Q&A episode. We get personal about our recent ADHD diagnoses and how neurodivergence shows up differently for each of us in our marriage. Join us as we explore the heart-wrenching 'birthday sadness' of watching kids grow up, share our journey of getting a skeptical partner on board with a new parenting style, a...

“I’m Being Consistent With My Discipline - Why Isn’t It Working?” 29.09.2025

Ever feel like the advice to 'just be consistent' isn't working for your family? In this episode, Jess and Scott dive into the power of 'flexible consistency' and why adapting to your child's needs is just as important as holding boundaries. They discuss how to shift your mindset from 'Why won't my child listen?' to 'Why can't they?', exploring concepts like temperament, skills gaps, and behaviour...

How To Handle Big After-School Meltdowns 22.09.2025

Why is your child perfect at school, only to completely fall apart the moment they get home? This episode dives deep into the common but misunderstood phenomenon of 'After-School Restraint Collapse.' Jess and Scott will help you understand that these explosions are a sign that your child feels safest with you, and give you practical strategies—from co-regulation to creating a 'soft landing'—to hel...

Why Are Some Kids So Strong-Willed And Stubborn!? (REVISIT) 15.09.2025

In this episode, Scott and Jess revisit a previous episode on strong-willed kids and add new commentary, insights, and stories to help parents understand and connect with their strong-willed kids.  Jess and Scott share practical, respectful strategies to transform power struggles into moments of understanding, helping you become the confident, curious leader your child needs. Learn how to work wit...

How To Talk To Kids About Death, Suicide, And Other Difficult Topics 08.09.2025

CW: Death, Suicide, Tragedy, Divorce This week, Jess and Scott tackle difficult conversations: death, suicide, divorce, loss, and tragedy in the news. Drawing from Scott's personal experience with suicide in his family and Jess's expertise as a child therapist, they offer a raw and honest guide to navigating these tricky topics. Listeners will learn the biggest mistakes well-intentioned parents ma...

Letting Kids Use AI: Smart Move Or Serious Mistake? 01.09.2025

Is AI a helpful tool or a 'Terminator' situation waiting to happen? In this episode, Jess finally gets to interview Scott as they tackle the complex world of AI safety for kids. They break down the different types of AI your child interacts with daily and reveal the hidden psychological risks. This episode will help you feel more empowered and less anxious about guiding your children through the n...

Are You On Your Phone Too Much In Front Of Your Kids? 25.08.2025

Ever feel a pang of guilt when you look up from your phone to see your child has moved on? You're not alone. In this episode, Jess and Scott tackle the 'parents' paradox', how our phones are both a lifeline and a major source of distraction. They explore the 'digital still face' effect on our kids and the science behind why apps are so hard to put down. Tune in for practical, compassion-focused st...

“But My Friend’s Parents Let Them…Why Can’t I?” 18.08.2025

What do you do when your child hits you with the classic line, "But my friend's parents let them!"? This episode tackles the universal parenting challenge of setting and upholding family rules. You'll walk away with practical strategies to communicate your rules effectively, offer choices within boundaries, and build a collaborative family team without giving up your leadership role. Get 10% OFF p...

Biblical Discipline, Deconstruction, And Belonging with Kate Bowler 11.08.2025

Jess sits down with Kate Bowler, historian, pastor, and New York Times bestselling author, to explore parenting, faith, and religious deconstruction. They unpack the history of harsh discipline like sparing the rod, question the idea of biblical discipline, and wrestle with whether kids are inherently sinful. This compassionate conversation offers space to question long-held beliefs, understand th...

Should We Force Kids To Say Sorry And Forgive Each Other? 04.08.2025

Are you tired of forcing your kids to say 'I'm sorry,' only to see them repeat the same behaviour an hour later? In this episode, Jess and Scott dissect the common parenting trap of forced apologies and, more surprisingly, forced forgiveness. They explore why simply demanding these magic words can be meaningless and even teach children to override their own feelings. Discover practical, empathy-bu...

The Impact Of Birth Order: What All Parents Need To Understand 28.07.2025

Are firstborns natural leaders, and the youngest the rebellious baby? Jess and Scott dismantle the popular—and surprisingly persistent—myths surrounding birth order. Scott shares fascinating research that reveals birth order's impact on personality and intelligence is almost non-existent. They explore the research on birth order and discuss the far more powerful forces that shape who our children...

The Tween Years: Peers, Embarrassment, And Belonging 21.07.2025

In this episode, Jess and Scott unpack the normal but challenging issues that arise in the tween years. They explore the fascinating science of the developing adolescent brain—explaining why teens have a 'powerful accelerator but underdeveloped brakes'—and discuss the crucial quest for identity that causes them to pull away. Learn how to shift from being a 'manager' to a 'coach,' build a 'social i...

Everyone Needs Me—But I'm Drowning 14.07.2025

Inspired by a listener's email, this episode dives into the parts of parenting that often go undiscussed. Jess and Scott move beyond simplistic 'self-care' advice to explore realistic ways to nurture yourself amidst the chaos, especially when you feel burnt out and unsupported. Learn the critical difference between being tired and true burnout, discover how to effectively repair your relationship...

What Every Parent Needs To Know About Sibling Conflict 07.07.2025

Tired of being the referee in constant sibling battles? This episode tackles a listener's question about managing the chaos of sibling play, especially between toddlers and preschoolers. We explore the developmental science behind why forcing a two-year-old to share is often a recipe for disaster. Discover a powerful mindset shift from being a frustrated 'referee' to an effective 'coach' who guide...

The Truth Behind Swearing And Rude Language In Kids 30.06.2025

When your sweet child suddenly starts using shocking language, it can be deeply unsettling - but this episode explains why it's often a normal developmental phase rather than a character flaw. Jess and Scott explore how children transition from physical to verbal aggression as they grow, and why words like 'stupid,' 'I hate you,' or even cursing serve different purposes from getting attention to e...

Are Timeouts Really Evidence-Based? 23.06.2025

Jess and Scott dive deep into the controversial topic of timeouts, examining whether they're truly the evidence-based discipline method many claim. They explore how typical timeout implementation can potentially harm parent-child attachment and fail to teach children the emotional regulation skills they need.  Listeners will gain insights into more developmentally appropriate alternatives like 'ti...

The Research All Parents Need To Know About Punishments 16.06.2025

Jess and Scott break down what research says about approaches like spanking, harsh verbal discipline, threats and bribes — and why authoritative parenting (balancing warmth with structure) leads to better outcomes. This episode is perfect for parents who are curious about non-punitive strategies or who want to raise cooperative kids without relying on fear or control. If you want to learn more abo...

The Impact Of Social Media, Gaming And Smartphones On Kids 09.06.2025

A must-listen episode for ALL parents and educators. Jess and Scott tackle the complex world of smartphones and social media use, sharing both research-backed concerns and practical guidance for parents. They explore the fine line between allowing kids to develop necessary digital skills and protecting their developing brains from content that can significantly impact their mental health and socia...

Impulse Control: What Every Parent Needs To Know 02.06.2025

Jess and Scott dive deep into the science of impulse control in children, explaining why little ones struggle to control their impulses and how parents can effectively support this critical developmental process. They explore brain development across different age groups—from toddlers who are "completely run by impulses" to teens experiencing a rush of emotions while their logical brain struggles...

Why Kids Need Boredom Now More Than Ever 26.05.2025

Jess and Scott dive into the often-misunderstood topic of boredom and its crucial role in child development. They explore why parents fear their children being bored, how screens have become the default solution to downtime, and the surprising developmental benefits that emerge when children learn to navigate unstructured time. You’ll learn practical strategies for teaching children to transform b...

I Love My Kids, But I Resent My Partner—Now What? With Dr. Tracy D 19.05.2025

In this insightful episode, psychologist and couples expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish joins Jess to discuss the often unspoken challenges couples face after having children. Dr. Tracy shares both professional expertise and personal vulnerability as she explains why 69% of couples experience a decline in relationship satisfaction after having children, and offers practical strategies for addressing resen...

How To Reparent Yourself While Raising Your Kids 12.05.2025

Jess and Scott dive deep into reparenting – the art of healing ourselves so that we can show up more authentically as parents. They discuss breaking negative generational patterns, managing guilt and perfectionism, and the power of repair through genuine apologies and behaviour change. You’ll learn practical tools for identifying personal triggers, embracing self-care, and building more secure, tr...

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