Parenting Without Power Struggles

In this episode, Susan explores the important difference between threats and boundaries in parenting. Susan illustrates the contrast between threats and boundaries using real-life examples—such as homework, chores, and screen time. She highlights how shifting from reactive threats to steady boundaries strengthens trust and cooperation while giving children the security and clarity they need. https...

In this episode, Susan offers compassionate guidance for navigating the emotional complexities of parenting after divorce. Susan explores the importance of emotional presence, not perfection, as the foundation for helping children feel secure during and after separation. Susan encouraging parents to model emotional safety, welcome messy feelings, and repair ruptures in connection. She validates th...

In this episode, Susan reflects on Derek Thompson's article  The Death of Partying in the USA to explore a troubling trend: the steady decline of in-person socializing, especially among young people. Susan highlights the mental health risks this poses—not just for adults, but for children growing up in screen-based, solitary environments. Susan gently encourages families to prioritize connection i...

  In this episode, Susan explores the unique needs and strengths of highly sensitive children. Susan explains that high sensitivity is a temperament trait—not a flaw—characterized by deep empathy, acute perception, and strong emotional responses. Acknowledging that parenting a sensitive child can be both exhausting and rewarding, Susan emphasizes the importance of providing a calm, steady presence...

In this episode, encourages parents to shift from reactive discipline to compassionate problem-solving by asking a simple but powerful question: "Why does this behavior make sense?" Susan illustrates how understanding the root causes of a child's actions can lead to more effective, connection-based responses. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/podcasts-why-behavior-makes-sense

In this episode, Susan explors the roots of parental reactivity—those moments when we snap, yell, or shut down—and why they have less to do with our children's behavior and more to do with our own unmet needs, past experiences, and nervous system responses. Recognizing our triggers with compassion can open the door to healing, not just for ourselves but for our relationships with our kids. Susan i...

In this episode, Susan tackles a common parenting challenge: how to stay calm in the heat of conflict. Drawing on attachment theory, neuroscience, and mindfulness, Susan introduces two powerful tools— shrinking the moment and using a mental anchor word —to help parents regulate their own emotions and respond more constructively when their children resist limits. She invites listeners to a free web...

In this insightful episode, Susan is joined by Tracy Gillett of  Raised Good for an honest conversation about parenting through meltdowns—those intense emotional storms that can shake both children and caregivers. They explore what's really happening in a child's brain during a meltdown, why these moments are developmentally normal, and how parents can show up with compassion rather than control....

In this episode, I explore one of the most challenging aspects of parenting: children's emotional meltdowns. But meltdowns are not signs of bad behavior—they're nervous system overloads signaling distress. I unpack the neuroscience behind these moments, the difference between tantrums and meltdowns, and why staying calm is more effective than trying to reason. You'll learn why emotional expression...

In this episode, Susan and Lenore Skenazy discussed the importance of childhood independence, free play, and responsibility, emphasizing the need to reduce anxiety in children by allowing them to take risks and make their own decisions. They explored the impact of cultural messaging and media on parenting practices, suggesting ways to promote resilience and social skills through programs like free...

In this episode, Susan welcomes Dr. Delaney Ruston, a physician, filmmaker, and creator of the Screenagers documentary series. In this powerful conversation, they talk about how to parent with compassion and confidence in the digital age. Delaney emphasizes the importance of the "safety first" approach: creating a home environment where children feel safe disclosing difficult online experiences wi...

Anxiety in children isn't something to eliminate—it's something to understand. In this episode, we explore how anxiety shows up in the body and why it's actually a signal, not a flaw. You'll walk away with a new lens on your child's anxious moments—and a sense of what real support can look like. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/anxiety-podcast-2  

In this episode, Susan explores the rising issue of anxiety in children and teens, emphasizing that anxiety is not a flaw but a signal that something feels unsafe. She discusses contributing factors like social media, academic pressure, and global uncertainty, and she encourages parents to co-regulate using tools like movement and breath work. She reassures parents that their presence and understa...

In this episode, Susan explores the importance of helping kids tune into their own wisdom and instincts, so they can think for themselves with confidence. Susan shares practical strategies for fostering self-trust, including asking thoughtful questions and helping kids recognize how their body and emotions respond to different choices. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/inner-wisdom-podcast

In this episode, Susan welcomes licensed clinical mental health counselor and certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, Tammy Sollenberger, to explore how IFS can help parents navigate their emotional triggers and build deeper connections with their children. Tammy illustrates how understanding and embracing different parts of ourselves can transform reactive parenting into more mindful a...

In this episode, Susan explores why kids lie and how parents can foster honesty with compassion. She explains that lying is often a normal part of child development, driven by self-protection, avoiding consequences, or imaginative storytelling. Susan emphasizes the importance of modeling honesty and guiding children toward making amends, helping them develop integrity and trust in their relationsh...

In this episode, Susan challenges the traditional view of ADHD, reframing it as different brain wiring rather than a deficit. She explores how ADHD brains thrive on creativity and spontaneity while struggling with executive function and emotional regulation. She offers practical strategies to help ADHD children succeed and emphasizes the importance of co-regulation to allow parents to empower thei...

In this episode, Susan shares an excerpt from her new class with Dr. Laura Markham on Sibling Harmony. They explore how parents can help their children navigate sibling rivalry and how to guide kids to resolve conflicts in healthy ways. Susan emphasizes the importance of parents staying calm and regulated, as children's behavior often stems from their parents' dysregulation. Susan and Laura also s...

In this episode, Susan addresses a parent's concern about their seven-year-old child exhibiting rudeness, defiance, and emotional outbursts, especially when asked to do simple tasks. Susan emphasizes the importance of staying calm and regulated and not reacting from a place of personal frustration. She also touches on the importance of connection, understanding the child's needs, and staying stead...

This is a recording of a free session Susan hosted with Dr. Laura Markham on January 11, 2025 to offer immediate support to those affected by the wildfires in southern California. To subscribe to Susan's newsletter and receive updates about additional free support sessions, text NEWSLETTER to 310-905-8165 and follow the prompts. https://susanstiffelman.com/wildfire-support-podcast-laura-markham/

In this episode, Susan discusses some of the signs that co-parenting struggles are due to narcissism, rather than more ordinary issues like hurt or resentment. She shares the kinds of questions she gets from parents who are co-parenting with a narcissist. https://pages.susanstiffelman.com/are-you-co-parenting-narcissist-podcast

In this episode, Susan shares an excerpt from a past session with Byron Katie, whose self-inquiry method, The Work, has deeply influenced her parenting approach. Katie's process helps parents question and shift stressful beliefs to improve their relationships with their children. Susan invites listeners to join her class with Katie to learn more about these transformative techniques. https://go.su...

In this episode, Susan talks about the importance of allowing our kids to make mistakes and gain resilience by recovering from them. https://susanstiffelman.com/podcast-episode-helping-kids-make-mistakes/

In this episode, Susan talks with Julie Lythcott-Haims about the challenges of parenting, particularly as children transition into adulthood. They discuss the ways in which parents' roles evolve as their children grow, and the importance of parents modeling healthy adult behavior for their children. Julie describes the ultimate goal of parenting as raising independent and resilient adults who can...

In this episode, Susan explores the challenges children face with restlessness, fidgetiness, and hyperactivity, particularly in the school environment. She emphasizes the importance of movement, play, and imagination in child development, noting that traditional classroom settings may not always accommodate natural developmental needs. Susan suggests practical strategies for parents and schools to...