Now That I Know Better

This is a close out of my Season 2 of making sense of my past via seeing myself as a feminine creature. I've been holding on to this file and never let it go. But I'm ready for something else in 2024, but the only way I can get there is letting these reflections go. And I hope more than just my progeny benefit.

This is a close out of my Season 2 of making sense of my past via seeing myself as a feminine creature. I've been holding on to this file and never let it go. But I'm ready for something else in 2024, but the only way I can get there is letting these reflections go. And I hope more than just my progeny benefit. This is the intro.

“She’s not yours because you decided that was the case. She’s yours because she made that choice herself. You can never make that decision for her, so don’t even bother trying.” -Author Unknown

“The only difference between a good girl and a bad girl is that good girls are very selective with who they are bad with.” -Author Unknown

That No that should have been YES! Ugh, the anguish of regret...regret I am committed to never experiencing ever again.

Being raised by my father was a beautiful gift of wonder and a terrible curse for the loneliness it can bring with it.

There is nothing more cringe-worthy than hearing your child make a claim you taught her without intending to. Mine may have to clean their own houses, but mine will be done by team effort.

My son’s boyfriend has had a girlfriend for years. Why is it that my daughter finding a boyfriend is so different? Am I living through her with all my past to weigh it down? Looks like my daughter knows a lot about my past which has helped her define her future. Donations, your connections and ideas for podcasts topics gratefully accepted via Venmo (Gabriela-Ruiz-4) and CashApp ($Gabie107).

Only thing I know about sharing a bed with kids, is for the single mom, it’s a savior of sorts, especially in memory when the kids no longer want to sleep with mom. Donations, your connections and ideas for podcasts topics gratefully accepted via Venmo (Gabriela-Ruiz-4) and CashApp ($Gabie107).

Passed on to me by my pranayama teacher, translated from the Chinese by Richard B. Clarke and featured in Jack Kornfield’s Teachings of the Buddha.

Carolyn Elliott always creates juicy memory melds with life experience. This one comes from her Precise Desire Practice, and is the last of 5 components to making magick. How critical and often ignored is this practice of retreating! And retreating without having to lace it with any negativity when we have been satisfied or when someone is not. This personalization will not leave my imagination.

What if Valentine’s Day season were more of a global outreach initiative?

Oooweeee, the Valentine series. The passion of David through the words of a woman. He can mean anything here: God, lover, money, regret. Fill in your blank for He and His and discover your passion.

I’ve been experimenting all covid season with this idea that I can influence what is created in my day by releasing this antiquated idea that my day “happens” to me, as if I’m a victim of circumstances outside me. I’ve made magic. I spent a month imagining for some reason I don’t yet know, imagining what my ideal kitchen would look like. And soon, circumstances showed up where at no cost, my kitch...

What must it be like to sit bedside and keep a sibling company in the uncertain process of creating body reconciliation? And in the time of COVID-19 when loved ones around me have been hit with grief, I consider the need to plan for my calm abiding role, as I sit bedside, much like Frida Kahlo’s sister did for her hermana.

My fifth grade teacher made me memorize this poem. It was an assignment for which we got a grade. I’m not quite sure how we were graded, whether it was our performance, number of words correct to words incorrect, or if we bothered to do it at all. But I see now why that poem was so important to memorize. It’s been a recurring theme for me all my adult life. I wish that I could go back to my teache...

I’ve never felt such a kindred spirit as I have with Warsan’s writings. They have broken me down to sobbing rivers-that beauty of feeling understood and feeling so misplaced in the world of relationships. But I found a home in that place and amazing company, embraced by her words

Sandra is my totem animal. Had it not been for her, I would have felt I was alone in the world, and would have probably convinced myself I would have to settle for being “normal” for a relationship worth sacrificing for. But I’ve found, a relationship of two thriving people who get to be who they are and still be happy-that’s the best alchemical wedding there is.

Happy new year! Nothing rouses the spirit like the call to do work that is filled with purpose. May your 2021 be filled with joy in your work, but most importantly, may it be filled with passionate significance.

There comes a time when you realize that your job is not to make your life whatever others will for you. The most rewarding thing about choosing yourself is that you attract others who choose themselves as well, without losing yourself as an exchange. I can still roll with whole people by choose me as my own dharma. It’s the greatest gift that can be offered to the world.

There is no greater prosperity killer than the feeling of lack, but you can't really feel a desire for prosperity without acknowledging it.  Once identifying the areas where there is need, we immediately shift to what's possible. Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender by Tosha Silver does just that.  She grows me.  ToshaSilver.com https://www.amazon.com/Change-Me-Prayers-Spirit...

Ever needed a bridge to possibility in a moment where you feel bound to people and circumstances that weigh you down? This statement elevates me into what’s possible by my choice and or anyone else’s. And you know what happens? Those who are ready for that same ride will be right next to you.

Perhaps my most favorite book of poetry of all time. Sandra is the Pablo Neruda for women...the difference between a mango and an avocado. Both delicious, but the woman’s spirit...divine.

My favorite devil that pushes me to step into the void of the unknown is this one right here. Not everything that is unknown turns into a terrible thing.

This week, a death contemplation passed on to me by Carolyn Elliott, adapted by the work of Ken McLeod. Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A method for getting what you want by getting off on what you don't) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1578636477/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_jXDRFbC4WATFJ Wake Up To Your Life: Discovering the Buddhist Path of Attention https://www.amazon.com/dp/...