Mmm I Like This

Have you ever felt vindicated through television? 'Cuz we have! This week we jump cut to Washington state! Where are all the Oceanside bells and whistles at? The boys cozy up in a gorgeous PNW style cabin all too familiar to our gorgeous host trio while (we assume) Charity has her own chalet deep in the Sasquatch-infested woods. We have good dates! We have girl scouts! We have humiliation! We...

Are you ready, Ken? Let's head to the Dreamhouse! It's Barbie week on The Bachelorette and Charity leans majorly into theme. We couldn't be happier. This week, the boys get completely gaslit into getting excited for the first trip of the season to.. Oceanside..California. Like we're not even taking a plane. Brayden get's a 1 on 1 and one massive collective groan can be heard ac...

We carry on back to format! This week, Charity gives out two group dates, one obvious 1 on 1, and one secret 1 on 1! Aaron B gets the first 1 on 1 by way of what we assume to be an alphabetical system, but who knows for sure. He wins a slow cruise to the Hollywood sign and the most boring dinner of our lives. The boys split up into two group dates and the theme of the week? Embarrassment. One grou...

Well well well! Here we go again! 25 men, one gorgeous angel, and one 44 year old host. Your favourite award winning podcast trio is back to eviscerate America's best and brightest attention seekers! It's night one for Ms. Charity Lawson and we are S E A T E D to see which of these men peak her interest. We've got tennis pros (hot), we've got mortgage lenders (boring), and we'v...

Guess who's back in the house?! Your favourite "award-winning" podcast trio has returned to analyze and eviscerate a collection of (mostly) hot (mostly) young fresh Bachelor Nation meat all vying for the heart of our innocent beautiful Charity. Thomas, Jess, and Joel return to the mic this week to break down each of the men's profiles (courtesy of Today.com) and give their first...

Well, we made it! In an absolute UNSHOCKING finish, our big nostrilled over-thinker has chosen his "best friend." In this incredible finale, Zach get's raked through the coals TWICE by our two runner-ups and Thomas, Jess, and Joel can't get over it. Ariel completely eviscerates him followed by Gabi twisting the knife and (hopefully) instilling so much guilt to bounce around in th...

There's nothing our delusional trio of hosts loves more than an opportunity to live up to their namesake. Boy oh BOY do we hate the Bach this week. We're in Thailand for sex("less") week and Zach decides to literally be the biggest idiot Bach Nation has ever seen. In a Jesus-loving effort, he seems to set stupid rules for himself and breaks them immediately. Men, are we right? Ar...

Thomas and Joel hold down the fort as a duo this week and, as usual, no one is surprised it is shaking out to be our longest episode to date. The theme of this week is "double" as our two favourite gay Bachelor fans break down TWO hard hitting weeks in the Bach Universe: Hometowns and Women Tell All. Hometowns are seemingly uneventful as Thomas and Joel focus more on which of our four fi...

The herd continues to thin!  We arrive in yet ANOTHER romantic European city this week! The epitome of romance some might say (Zach). Where's Greer you may ask? Well she was left in Estonia to fend for her own life it would seem.  Kaity is the first to get the SECOND 1-on-1 and the loudest groan can be heard across the world. These two plain cheeseburgers are so in love it's gross. Just...

Then lace that bitch up! Your Emmy award winning delusional trio is back with another week of questioning Zach's perspective of romance.  We're in Estonia this week! Anyone else feel like they're in Frozen? Just Brooklyn? Alright. Charity get's a redeeming 1 on 1 which we are VERY pleased about, and to no one's surprise, she SLAYS the looks. Twirl your bangs, girl! Corpse Bride emerges as the...

Pip pip, cheerio, and all that, we're in London! According to Zach, the most romantic city in the world! Who could say no to dirty streets, too many lads, and bad teeth? We travel from a literal PARADISE to a grey hell hole this week and it just doesn't get any better throughout the week. Gabi gets the princess/spoil date and Greer couldn't be more upset because that's her love language. Her love...

It's just the Delusional Duo this week! Joel is on a little fun trip, so it's just two faves.  This week, we head to the Bahamas to.. evidently showcase Zach's perspiration issues. HOWEVER, we are here for fun bathing suits. We've got 1 on 1's, we've got unnecessary tears, we've got threats of fist fighting? We actually don't, but apparently SOMEONE (Anastasia) likes to misconstrue our favour...

Chyrons make the world go 'round. This week, our trio begins to really lean into the return to format for Zach's season. This is our first episode with two 1 on 1's and we see the comeback of the.. beloved(?) Bachelor Bowl. The girls go head to head to fight for the cocktail party and our girl Anastasia plays the game right with an immediate "injury." We begin to thin the herd as girls begin to se...

Any bad bitches in the house? Anyone? This week, the producers are generously giving EVERY girl a date with Zach whether that be 1 on 1 or group. What did this crop of girls do to deserve such generosity? Is it the 3" barrel curls? The lack of hip movement? The "bad bitch energy"?  Latto shows up to coach the girls on confidence and self worth, and we see the return of some of Bach's baddest...

Listen. What better way to express how we feel about Zach than to be 5 days late to upload? We will not apologize (It is Thomas' fault but don't tell him we know). Your fave trio is back with a new season and we are ready to hate Zach this entire time. We will not apologize for this either. We are called "We Hate The Bachelor" after all! Zach meets 30 gals and the beige-off ensues. How many girls...

We made it, kids!  After 16 LOOOOONG episodes, we are flying out of paradise. Bittersweet is the vibe of the week. Our trio is reunited as Thomas returns from his trip just in time to celebrate the expected engagement between Brandon and Serene, but all three nervously giggle at the other "strongest couple" Victoria and Johnny.. Who would have thought? Truly none of us. In a Bachelor first, w...

We're nearing the finish line!!!  This week, Jess and Joel take the helm while Thomas attends a business trip in Palm Springs. Did he go to Stagecoach? Only time will tell. Eliza's whirlwind "international" trip to Baltimore backfires when Justin ultimately chooses himself as a real King should, and Eliza learns to trust her gut instead of her Lord of The Flies beach mates' choices for HER li...

Only one episode this week and our lovely trio still find a way to talk over each other for an hour straight. Impressive, really. This week, Kate main characters herself in and out of a potential love triangle, and Thomas and Jess are living for every sound byte she is providing.  Eliza makes the worst decision in Paradise history, but in a tear-soaked turn of events, dumps her choice AND fli...

Are we done yet? We're not? There are still 4 episodes to go? Someone call 911.  This week, relationships are tested and our three lovely hosts try and figure out what a relationship is and what a test is. In the Paradise setting. One of Bachelorette's worst men arrives on the scene to "shake things up" and it's quite possibly the most self-sabotaging experience we have ever seen on televisio...

It's Geometry Beach, baby!  This week the girls return to the beach and we mournfully say our goodbyes to the Vidanta. Some reunions lead to stronger connections and tearful reconciliations, while others result in the Shanaedo tearing through Paradise.  Thomas gives JillChin the farewell she deserves with no support from Jess and Joel, but all ends well when Tyler arrives on the beach to...

***Edit** - Re-Uploaded with the right week! The Bachelor Historian is back! This week Jess and Thomas welcome the long awaited return of Joel, the self proclaimed "bringer of positivity" to the Pod! Finally we get a week where multiple things actually happen to talk about, so much so this has got to be the longest episode so far! Sorry about that... Michael gets way too much screen time and in th...

Can you believe we live in a world where Kira thinks Jacob feels like home? What a CROCK! Week two without Joel, and Jess and Thomas are honestly doing so well. This week, Genevieve embarrasses herself by ditching Paradise's best man and honestly? We support a single and mingle ready Justin.  The Pizza King arrives on the beach looking for his Pizza Queen and Brittany proves to be a Queen of...

What a week. Late uploads, too many hours of Paradise in one sitting, and Canadian Thanksgiving can try to bring us down!! But they won't!! This week, Jess and Thomas helm the mic with Joel on vacation, and boy oh boy is he missing out.  Jacob becomes a makeout slut, Romeo experiences consequences for his actions, and Jess and Thomas' boyfriends come down the stairs together, are we surprised...

WE ARE BACK BABY! The beach has been calling our names and boy oh boy did we answer the call. What a crop of HOTTIES. For the first time in Paradise history, the men out hot the women. Can you believe? With Michael A and Andrew S there... we definitely can.  ANOTHER Paradise first.. Thomas doesn't like a bitchy unlikeable character. Is he feeling okay? We can only hope. Jess and Joel GUSH ove...

Well... we made it. It's over. Jess, Joel, and Thomas reflect on an exhausting season of crying, laughter, crying, one-shoulder dresses, fake hair, and crying. Rachel DEFINITELY got what she wanted.. no matter the cost. Was it worth it? The level of DESTRUCTION she drops on Tino blows us all away, and Gabby get's her big handed man.  Yet again, an hour episode seems daunting at first until th...