Life in Relationship

Episode 16 – Always Growing: Practices for Spiritual Growth being with God v. producing something for God We can be doing all kinds of things for God, but very little to draw near to God.   Today and to come: four practices for drawing near useful every day and especially useful for connecting to God in and around our challenges Thanks to CPH for letting me pull apart this article and use it a lit...

Special guest: Rev. Michael Newman   Tell us about yourself and your journey with grief.   What aspects of grief make growth challenging? "big" and "small" loses Grief upon grief + grace upon grace Lack of cultural methods for honoring grief shame/disempowerment in loss and grief     Relational resources designed to be shared Hope When Your Heart Breaks doses of God meeting you in darkness and pai...

The research: 2017 – 3 part research project – confirmands, young adults (2000+), focus groups YA Relationships Count available for free - https://www.cph.org/p-34106-relationships-count-engaging-retaining-millennials-ebook-edition.aspx   Other research available: Fuller Youth Institute Sticky Faith Research https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/stickyfaith/research   Barna Trends in Youth Ministry: ht...

with guest Heather Ruesch Focus: We grow best not in meeting with God occasionally or even regularly, but in God's presence in our life always.   When was a moment you had the sense of the presence of God's Spirit?   God invites us to know His Spirit. Psalm 139:7 What places in your life do you find it's easy to forget that God is present with you?   God invites us to know His faces, to connect wi...

with guest Heather Ruesch Focus: We grow not just in knowledge of God, but when we remember who God is and what He's done for us.   Which are you more comfortable with in your relationship with God: knowledge or experiences?   God is omniscient. Psalm 139:4 Where do you see the evidence that God knows us wholly or altogether?   God is interested. God sees the details. Psalm 139:3 Name a Scripture...

Special guest: Darcy Paape, director of the Women's Leadership Institute at Concordia University Wisconsin and author of Someone to Walk With   What is mentoring? Intentional Organic Being willing to share both strengths and weaknesses Creating relationships and creating spaces   What is the person looking for? Examples: Affirmation? Coaching? Evaluation? Someone to listen?   Building blocks of me...

What playgrounds do you remember being in your life as a kid?   Purpose of playgrounds Purpose of Being   Being + doing is the goal, holding both together   God's relationship to being Examples in Scripture   Colossians 3:23-24 Colossians 3:17   God's relationship to doing Examples of Scripture   Mary and Martha in all of our lives   In what ways are you being with God? In what ways are you doing...

Sense of worth = an internal awareness that as created creatures of God we have value How does God's delight in us inform our sense of worth? Concept of mutual delight, God to us and us to God   Struggle with worth - Delight is not determined by what I do. Seeing our worth based on our relationships with people Worth based on what we do or my performance   Engaging in God out of response playing f...

Episode 7 – The Truth about Mental Health: Hope Special guest: Tanner Olson, aka Written to Speak   Get to know Tanner Why is hope so important for our mental health and for our relationships? Hope changes the narrative Hope as the bridge between mental health and our relationships The power of sharing narrative Sharing hope on the internet   Hope with words Hope without words   Honoring the heavy...

With Special Guest, Sue Steege Director of Christian Education, transformation and discipleship ministry focus Goal – making it safe and doable for parents to be faith growers Moving from Wow to Win How can I set up a win for a parent to transmit the faith? How can I set up a safe way for parents to feel successful in sharing their faith? What opportunity can I set up for families to participate i...

Did you have a stuffed animal or a "lovie" growing up? What was your relationship to the lovie?   What do stuffed animals do for kids? What can stuffed animals teach us about Jesus?   Comfort – a physical reminder of the abstract comfort we need as kids a sense of power and agency with something that is smaller than them Representation of the abstract, sometimes hard to access, comfort Jesus bring...

Marriage as a Process…Not a Product What kinds of things in life do you want instant fruit or instant rewards? What kinds of things would you like your spouse to just know about you? Read Ephesians 4:11-16. Where do you see truth and love alive throughout the timeline of your marriage? What does the process of healing or forgiveness look like in your marriage? Wellness Exercise: Open the conversat...

Special Guest: Matt Schuler, pastor and friend   What is trust? Heidi's definitions of trust: https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/always-growing-what-is-trust   Designed for trust in God Proverbs 3:5-8   Trust impacted by brokenness Psalm 28:7   Is God trustworthy? Cultural norms Boundaries and trust Dare to Lead elements of trust - https://amzn.to/3kH7bf5 (affliate link)   Walking forward with trust w...

12 Days of Physical Touch What are the purposes of physical touch in marriage? What are the benefits of physical touch in marriage?   How do physical touch and sexuality change in different stages of marriage?   Name a time your partner comforted you with physical touch.   What difference in capacities for physical touch do you and your spouse have, if any?   Wellness Exercise: Read Matthew 19:13-...

Special Guest: Justin Hanneman, PhD, LIMHP, pastor GracePoint Relational Health https://www.relationalhealth.org/   What is attachment? "secret sauce" Trust, sense of safety, and attachment from infancy to adulthood   Sense of safety at the subconscious level Implicit memory + early relationships Definition of implicit memory = https://dictionary.apa.org/implicit-memory   Love your neighbor and a...

Love and Respect Got to Do with It Article: https://blog.cph.org/read/everyday-faith/whats-love-and-respect-got-to-do-with-it Read Ephesians 4:32 and Ephesians 5:21. How do each verse impact the whole of how we understand love and respect within our marriages? How is respect important in a marriage? How is love important in a marriage? How do the two overlap? Which is the most challenging for you...

Why the First Year of Marriage is So Hard Article: https://blog.cph.org/read/family/first-year-marriage-stinkin-hard Radio spot: https://www.kfuo.org/2017/12/01/faf-120117-first-year-marriage-hard/   What memories do you have from your first year of marriage? Be sure to include at least one hard memory and one happy memory.   What kinds of things do you think can or do make that first year of marr...

Treasuring Up in Marriage Read Luke 2:16-19 What kinds of things do you think Mary was pondering or treasuring up?   What kinds of things in marriages, in general, are helpful to "treasure up"?   What kinds of things can you treasure up in your own marriage? What moments are in the treasure store of your marriage?   Wellness exercise: When you look across the difficult times in your marriage or li...

What to Do When Your Spouse Gets on Your Nerves   How do kindness and a sense of humor help when talking about difficult things or prickly things in marriage?   Read Matthew 7:3-5. What kinds of things do you think are worth discussing and getting upset about in marriage and life, and what kinds of things are not?     What is the difference between internally reflecting and responding when your sp...

Love & Honor Your Mother-in-Law How does our culture represent mother-in-laws?   Read Genesis 2:24-25. Brainstorm any relationships impacted by leaving and cleaving and what impacts you see in your own marriage.   How can we care for one another in the family through the transition of leaving and cleaving?     Wellness exercise: Name a few ways your own marriage has been impacted in both positive...

When Contempt Threatens Describe contempt in your own words. Which aspects of contempt stick out to you the most?   What does respect do for a marriage?   Consider the list of concrete ways contempt is given. Which of these strongly effect you, no matter where they are given?   Read 2nd Samuel 6:16-23. What emotions are behind Michal's contempt?     Wellness Exercise: Watch a tv show together and...

Will You Fight for Me? What do you each remember most about your wedding?   In what ways do you fight for one another in your marriage?   How is forgiveness part of fighting for one another in marriage?   How do you show each other you are fighting for one another? Wellness exercise: Make a list together of three things you value together in your marriage and discuss concrete ways you fight for th...

Three Places to Never Argue Questions: Where have you argued and it hasn't gone well?   When and how have you experienced struggles in arguing in any of the three places: Riding in the car In the bedroom (especially preparing for bed) In front of other adults   What value is there in letting an argument rest a bit? Why is this hard at times?     Wellness exercise: Consider what are two of your "ho...

A Marriage that Bends Questions: What magic answers are out there for marriage? What magic answers do you think people utilize to get to marriage growth?   How can 1st Corinthians 8:1 inform our marriages?   What things in the world attempt to "break" our marriage? Where is the comfort in knowing that God doesn't break us or our marriage?   How do you get the oxygen of Christ into your marriage, e...

Why Repair Attempts Matter Questions: What topics of things poke at us and start a negative slide or cycle in arguments?   How do you usually switch gears or change focuses when you are having an argument and need to relieve some pressure from the conversation?   What repair attempts might you use intentionally? What repair attempts might you be using subconsciously?   Wellness exercise: Create a...