Life in Relationship

Question: What can nature teach us about boundaries?   Research around boundaries in nature and psychology Info + application Phase of research at present Pleasing and purpose (the symphony of nature)   Order and chaos in the natural world  With human interaction Without human interaction Examples of order and chaos in nature   What is our relationship with nature? Consider the seasons The impact...

Question: We know kids need outside time; but does nature benefit children's mental health?  Tip 1 - environment matters  Consider your space for work or learning Note your time needs in nature or working, etc - aka how does the environment around you change or impact your mindset individually Note the differing energies of different environments   Tip 2 - spark creativity in Creation Kids as crea...

Question: How do I start healing from Spiritual Trauma?   1 - recognize both Big T & Little t trauma  2 - the Body does keep the score The nervous system activation and return to baseline The impact of energy and recovery The place of awareness in healing Somatic therapy treatment for trauma The mystery of nature and healing the body Time elements of trauma healing Trauma and "marks of significanc...

Question: What skills can nature teach us about life transition and change? Transitions come with stress  Attending to the transition, noticing the energy and tasks required Various emotions of transition Nature as an intentional place to "escape" to    Tip #1 - any time in nature is valuable   Tip #2 - nature reminds us every thing happens in its time  notice the transitions in nature itself to v...

Question: How does nature help with regulation and balance?   Dave's forest therapy training - https://anft.earth/   Emotion Regulation tip #1 - let things be complicated Science and mystery Concrete concepts around ourselves and our bodies as well as spiritual or less concrete concepts around ourselves   Emotion Regulation tip  #2 - we regulate when we provide a space For each other (co-regulatio...

Question: How do I let go of things I can't control?   A Dave and Heidi story: the cynical season or "life on the edge" and our first forest therapy attempt Learning to let go of the outcome   Letting Go Tip #1 - Find a practice of noticing what we don't control or can't control Example: stand in the woods or the yard and note the basic elements of nature around you that you can't control   Lettin...

Welcome to Season 7 of our little podcast! Dave and I are looking forward to a season of talking about three of our very favorite things comingled...well, four really - life in relationships, mental health, the natural world, and spirituality.  Some topics and questions you'll find in the conversation this season include:  How does nature help with emotion regulation? How do I let go of things I c...

Special guest Chris Kennedy, Pastor and Author Chris's book, Grace Under Pressure - https://amzn.to/3FBrdU2 (associate link)   Proactive v reactive approach Proactive = investing in taking care of ourselves, our emotions, our whole selves to be able to live in the moment more authentically as ourselves and in what we value/believe Reactive = awareness of emotion when it comes up   Tip 1 - Attend t...

How do I find more happiness? Happiness is a momentary emotion, as all emotions are, time oriented, even as a mood   Tip 1 - Look for happy moments, not a vague ongoing experience   Defining – emotion related to joy, gladness, satisfaction, or wellbeing Related to confidence or satisfaction with a moment, a person, a situation   Tip 2 – avoid all or nothing thinking Allow and acknowledge several e...

How do I tell the difference between my anxiety and my child's?   Attachment relationships are more connected for regulation The value of presence The detriment of sponging emotion   Tip #1 – adults can bring the emotions to consciousness for kids Notice and name the emotion in the room Also helps us differentiate between my emotion and someone else   Tip #2 – go out into nature/Creation to releas...

How do I help my loved one when they are sad?   Differences in sadness and sorrow definition relationship to distress and emotion regulation   Elevated, heavy feelings – sadness, guilt, remorse/regret, powerlessness -        Time oriented, long suffering, pain taking time -        Death, change, trauma, heartbreak, injustice, loss, disappointment, bad luck, trouble   Consider the moments when some...

Listener question:  How do I have a conversation with someone I disagree with when I feel passionately about something?   Annoyed, accosted, attacked, or acknowledgment – honoring people's passions while setting our own boundaries   Tip 1 – root around your belief systems and consider how it impacts people   Tip 2 – use words to state our emotions as well as our thoughts   Define Zeal -        gre...

Listener question: How do I have both empathy and boundaries? Article on empathy and boundaries at heidigoehmann.com - https://heidigoehmann.com/articles/the-savior-complex-empathy-without-boundaries   The difference between "hey, hold my emotions" and "withness" Cognitive empathy: Do they need us to see their perspective? Listen and ask questions about what they are thinking and how they see the...

How do I get more pleasure in my life and relationships? Getting past the word pleasure -  Culture and church cringy word, kind of awkward, vaguely sexual  Pleasure definition = enjoyment, satisfaction 1 - Look for pleasure to be relationship focused 2 - ask deeper questions about pleasure 3 - pleasure in balance with other emotions 4 - noticing skills   3 stages of pleasure: Wanting – expectation...

Welcome back! The Life in Relationship Podcast answers one relationship question in each episode. We are looking forward to sharing Season 6 with you. This season we are answering relationship questions all about Emotions to celebrate Heidi's book release of Emotions & the Gospel: Created for Connection. Emotions covered include: pleasure, anxiety, happiness, sadness & sorrow, frustration, zeal, a...

Topic: Topic: How do you break up well? How do I know it's healthy to start dating again after a divorce or breakup?   The weightiness of breakups Reminding us of our need as humans for intimacy There are ways to do break ups "better", but no way to do it "easy"   Keep it classy, kind, and clear Break ups are in a moment, but the work of a break up is long term face to face universally preferred i...

How do partners take care of each other when they have a baby?   1 – Learn together, about baby and each other What are your unique challenges?   Gender role complications Awareness of shifts and changes with each baby Embrace flexible curiosity Make space and room for letting the baggage come out     2 – hold the good and bad together for and with another Acknowledge the impossibility of the unpr...

Topic: Where do I turn if I'm wrestling with my faith?   Intro: special guest Tanner Olson, Written to Speak, the poetry master   Wrestling can be scary, but healthy Can feel like a journey, a battle, a dessert, normalcy, mediocrity Common Questions: Is God still who He says He is? Is God still close to me? Validating your questions and feelings goes a long way in making wrestling feel safer Keep...

Topic: How do I talk to someone I love who is struggling with their mental health? Intro: Changing stigma towards mental health Step 1 - changing our beliefs Step 2 - changing our actions related to beliefs 2019 APA survey: https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2019/05/mental-health-survey   What is my relationship with this person? (4:30) Relationship = vulnerability + boundaries Where are they...

Topic: How does a family adjust to someone becoming an adult? Developmental realities, independence and angst The reality of Young Adulthood – How do I access independence? A Story: getting your first cold and/or changing your major in college   Tip 1 – Celebrate small things of young adulthood baby steps reminds us we are capable telling each other you are capable = part of family life   Tip 2 –...

Question: How do we split up "the chores" of a household? For marriage, roommates, families, etc. Dave & Heidi housekeeping love story Gottman research, wives find spouse doing housework erotic Link: https://www.gottman.com/blog/4-typical-solvable-problems-relationships/   do what works, not what is expected Identifying expectations from other places – culture, family of origin, assumptions equali...

Question: How do we come to terms with the closure of a childhood friendship? What are ways to find contentment and peace when that friend no longer reaches out to us? Submitted by listener, Emily    our childhood BFFs Research moment: 1 in 10 friendships survive into adulthood   Children practice being a friend and there's a learning curve. Children are learning how to be humans and learning rela...

T he Life in Relationship podcast answers one relationship question in each episode. Our goal is more genuineness and authenticity in each of our relationships each day. Hear more about the new format on this short trailer and start submitting your questions to lifeinrelationshippodcast@gmail.com. People are always worth the trouble and relationship is worth the effort.

The epistles are what I like to think of as "big-word books." They teach us about abstract concepts like propitiation, redemption, atonement, and righteousness. This can be intimidating, but also enlightening.   Today's spiritual practice gives us grace for when we encounter big words in Scripture or big ideas. Our goal today is to also build our ability to sit in not knowing "the answer" and disc...

Always Growing: The Spiritual Practice of Adventure Practices for spiritual growth – always focusing on drawing near Greg Finke = Where are we going today, Jesus? Joining Jesus on His mission - https://amzn.to/3u5JAcb God wants to do daily life with us – Name 3 places you go in your day or week that God goes with you Life is an adventure – Seeing the adventure right where you are at What adventure...