I Wish You Knew

He was CIO at Dell managing a billion and a half dollar budget. And he could not tell if he was valued more than the piece of furniture he was sitting in. Most people are living with that same feeling without knowing what it is. Adam Lane Smith sits down with John R. Miles, author of The Mattering Effect, to break down why the question “do I even matter?” is driving a global crisis and what it tak...

Stress has gone down by almost every historical measure. Suffering has gone up. Those turn out to be different things. In this episode, attachment expert Adam Lane Smith sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Aaron Kheriaty to ask why despair is rising in a culture organized around comfort, what the attempt to eliminate all discomfort has cost, and what ordinary people can do for someone struggling. The...

She had 7000 comments on a single matchmaking post. Thirty of those people are now married. Six babies have been born. And it all started because she asked one question: what if I just tried to help? Adam Lane Smith sits down with Emily and Daniel Hussem, co-founders of Sacred Spark, a Catholic dating app, to break down why finding a spouse has never been harder, what the collapse of friend and fa...

Everyone said it could not work. Two avoidant people in the same relationship. Two people wired to pull back, protect themselves, and disappear the moment things get close. And then Carly and Mel proved everyone wrong. Adam Lane Smith sits down with couple Carly Randall and Mel Shingleton, two self-proclaimed avoidants, for a live coaching session that answers the question everyone in the comments...

We have talked about masculinity and manhood on this show before. Today is the mature version of that conversation, going back to the oldest teachings we have. In this episode, attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith sits down with His Eminence Metropolitan Jonah, retired primate of the Orthodox Church in America, rector of St. Herman's Church and Abbot of St. Demetrios Monastery, for a conversation...

ADHD, attachment, trauma, anxiety, and stress can look surprisingly similar. So how do you know what you’re actually dealing with? Adam Lane Smith sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Steven Storage to unpack what ADHD really looks like, how it affects relationships, what a proper assessment involves, and where medication, sleep, nutrition, movement, and behavioral work fit in. 💬  Ready to work with m...

Trying harder to fix your marriage can leave you exhausted, resentful, and convinced you’re married to a man who doesn’t care. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with The Surrendered Wife author Laura Doyle to challenge what happens when fear turns into control, why stepping back can give a capable husband room to step forward, and how desire, receptivity, gratitude, and...

Disembodiment rarely announces itself. It can look like fatigue, unexplained aches, trouble concentrating, or difficulty feeling close to the people around you. In this episode of I Wish You Knew, Adam Lane Smith sits down with embodiment expert Mark Walsh to unpack what happens when we stop listening to the body, and how rebuilding that connection can help you feel more present, connected, and hu...

Adam Lane Smith celebrates three years of the I Wish You Knew podcast by reading your wildest comments, answering your most pressing questions, and sharing what he has learned from three years of conversations with guests from every walk of life. In this special episode Adam reflects on the shows that surprised him most, the moments that changed his thinking, and what he believes the future of men...

Most women use therapy as a metric for whether a man is ready for marriage. Most couples therapists are operating from a framework that was never designed with men in mind. And one licensed professional clinical counselor has seen enough that he is leaving the field entirely. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Jeff Saint James, licensed professional clinical counselor and men's issues specialist, to b...

You are genuinely loved. Your partner is loyal. And you still cannot breathe out and relax all the way. That is not a character flaw. It is a biochemical problem. And it has a biochemical answer. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Sue Carter, the world's leading expert on oxytocin and vasopressin bonding, to break down exactly why some people cannot feel safe even when they are safe, what chronic...

Adam Lane Smith sits down with Dr. Aaron Kheriaty, psychiatrist, medical ethicist, and author of Making the Cut, to break down what modern psychiatry is getting catastrophically wrong, why the chemical imbalance model is not just incomplete but actively harmful, and what actually heals people when medications and therapy alone are not enough. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why reducing ment...

He built one of the most controversial dating sites in the world. He told every woman upfront on day one that he did not believe in marriage. And then he met Dana. And everything changed. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Brandon Wade, founder of Seeking.com, and his partner Dana to break down what it actually takes to win an avoidant man's heart. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why Brandon spe...

She lost her mother to a brain aneurysm. Then three years to the day, her 26 year old husband died of a heart attack. She was a therapist who had studied grief and still felt completely unprepared for what it actually felt like.  Adam Lane Smith sits down with Amy Morin, therapist and bestselling author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do”, to break down what mental strength actually is,...

He did everything right. Stayed loyal. Showed up for his family. And one day in Florida he found out his wife had been having an affair. That was the moment everything he thought he knew about himself collapsed. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Ralph Brewer, author of The Dead Bedroom Fix and founder of Dad Starting Over, to break down what actually happens to a man after infidelity and divorce, why...

Money is in the top three reasons for divorce in America. But most couples fighting about money are not actually fighting about money. They are fighting about safety, worth, and trust. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Rachel Cruze, financial expert and bestselling author, to break down why money fights are almost never about money, what your attachment style is doing to your finances, and how to fin...

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👉 Join Secure Circle PLUS: https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/secure-circle-plus?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=6/18 Women have been given two options. Be silent and submissive or be independent and need nothing. Neither one produces a loving, safe, intimate family. Neither one is what most women actually want. And most women have never been shown a third way. Adam Lan...

She is exhausted, overwhelmed, and carrying a running list in her head that never stops. And he has no idea it exists. Not because he does not care. Because nobody ever showed him what it actually is or what it is costing her. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Dr. Morgan Cutlip, the world's leading expert on the mental load, to break down exactly what the mental load is, w...

Most women have been trying to understand men the same way they understand other women. And it has never worked. Not because men are broken, but because nobody ever showed her how they actually work. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Alison Armstrong, one of the world's leading experts on understanding men and the author of The Queen's Code, for a conversation years in the...

Your marriage is a team. Most people are running it like a dysfunctional one and have no idea why nothing is working. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and one of the world's leading experts on organizational health, to break down what makes teams fall apart, why the same dysfunctions destroying companies are dest...

Two thirds of millennials are experiencing depression symptoms from loneliness. Everyone is walking around wishing someone would talk to them. And nobody is starting. Not because they do not want connection. Because they are terrified of looking like they only want something. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Jordan Harbinger, one of the world's leading experts on human co...

Why would a man embrace marriage and fatherhood in 2026? Most men are not asking that question with curiosity. They are asking it with exhaustion. They have heard a thousand reasons why marriage is a trap, why fatherhood is a burden, and why the risk is not worth the reward. And almost nobody is giving them a reason to say yes. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Devin Schad...

Most men today are doing everything they have been told to do to attract a woman. They are being kind, accommodating, agreeable, and endlessly pleasing. And it is working against them every single time. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Marni Kinrys, dating coach and wing girl to men for over 22 years, for one of the most honest and practical conversations about what women...

Most young men today have never had a real conversation about relationships with another man who actually knows what he is talking about. This episode is that conversation. Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist, sits down with Franco Fernandez, a 24 year old Catholic content creator with a large social media following, for one of the most raw and honest coaching sessions the show has ever don...