I Hate It, Let’s Watch It

One of the best "How NOT To" guides we've ever seen on how to rob a millionaire, Shattered is going to teach you everything you don't want to do on your next Robin Hood-inspired adventure, starting with rule #1: Leave your stepfather OUT OF IT. And if you don't feel like watching the entire thing, just check out the two-minute trailer, which manages to spoil pretty much every plot twist that might...

Should have called this movie The Lost Plot, because we sure as hell couldn't find it. The movie shamelessly teased us with the promise of an exciting plot twist or a dangerous encounter only to give us...a worm. And an appreciation for our own mothers, who could never even come close to the insanely selfish matriarchs featured in The Lost Daughter. What a snoozefest. Save yourself some time, and...

Hop on board the crazy train with us this Easter and give this eggs-ellent movie a chance! What more do you need to celebrate the most solemn and holy high holiday of the Catholic religion than an elementary school bus massacre, a token pair of fake breasts (that bait you into thinking this might be a sexy movie -- it's not), and a mentally unstable man in a bunny suit with an unlimited arsenal of...

We've said it before, we'll say it again: We are HERE for Lindsay Lohan's comeback. And while Irish Wish might have SOME flaws (i.e. confusing lore, total lack of chemistry between almost all of the characters, a criminally underutilized Jane Seymour, and corny rom-com tropes), Lindsay and her uber-charming opposite played by Ed Speleers save this film from being total garbage. Be careful what you...

Ahh, a movie that finally dares to posit the question...if most people are afraid of the dark, why not make the entire movie dark? Like, SO DARK that they can't even see the ACTUAL scary things that are going on. It's brilliant. It's bold. It's impossible to watch within a one-mile radius of a light source. So close your eyes and let us guide you through the poorly lit journey that is Polaroid, a...

Now that we're all nice and turned on by our sexy February line-up, we'd like to keep the spice levels high with a movie that features graphic snail sex and 45 seconds of Jacob Elordi. That's right. You're WELCOME. One of our favorites from the archives, Deep Water is a must-see and if you're not convinced, you will be by the end of this episode.   Don’t forget to rate and subscribe! Follow us on:...

Forget Valentine's Day -- Leap Year is obviously the sexiest, most romantic holiday of them all, and we have the movie to prove it. This film has it all: zero nudity, zero sex, and zero chemistry, plus enough tired rom com tropes you could choke to death on them. Even Dawn's "favorite" leading lady, Amy Adams, can't save this excruciating nothingburger from boring us to tears, so forgive us while...

We're closing out our ~threesome~ of sexy February movies with the 1998 classic erotic thriller, Wild Things, only one of us found this movie erotic or thrilling (hint: it's Dawn). While we did not necessarily agree on whether or not this was a good movie worthy of praise, we definitely agreed on this: Bill Murray carried this whole film on his back (with a not-so-modest assist from Denise Richard...

If you were thinking about suggesting a threesome to your partner this Valentine's Day because you are sexually dissatisfied with your relationship and are unwilling to talk to them about it, THINK AGAIN. Just like having a baby to save a failing marriage, this is a BAD PLAN and if you don't want to take our word for it, watch Happy Ending. This dull and cringe-worthy slog of a movie is far worse...

We are kicking off our February Love Fest with a BANG. Well, technically many, MANY bangs. In our lifelong quest to find a film that can match the ridiculousness and steaminess of the 365 Days saga, we have discovered Burning Betrayal, which makes a valiant effort despite ultimately falling a bit short in the end. However, there is NO shortage of perfect butts, perfect breasts, and steamy sex scen...

Germany's answer to cult classic (and one of our favorite films that we've covered) Teeth, Killer Condom is a cautionary tale about what happens when religious fanatics coopt the prophylactic industry to clean up the streets of New York City just in time for Jesus Christ's second coming. We wish we were kidding. "Cum" on this journey with us as we detail Detective Luigi Mackaroni's tireless effort...

I scream, you scream, we all scream because what the heck was THAT?? The Ice Cream Truck, which unfortunately does not feature a serial killer transformer and therefore does not live up to its name, is actually a surprise movie about a mid-life crisis interrupted by fever dream sequences of murder, playground sex with an 18-year-old who actually looks like he's 45, and an ending that will have you...

If you're looking for a movie from the 80s that can mansplain feminism to you, look no further than Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death! This tongue-in-cheek take on gender stereotypes (written, directed, and produced entirely by MEN) has a lot to say about avocados, but gets tangled up in the vines of the Southern California jungle when it comes to advocating for women's rights. It's al...

What better way to kick of 2024 than by throwing it back to the very first movie we ever covered, a thrilling piece of cinematic art called Deadly Illusions. Kristen Davis is...baffling, the plot is...confused, and all these years later, we still can't make heads or tails of that ending.   Don’t forget to rate and subscribe! Follow us on:  Twitter: @ih8itletswatch Instagram: @ih8itletswatchit Webs...

Nothing gets us in the holiday spirit more than a horny cookie. In this non-Gary Busey sequel, the bar drops even LOWER for plot, acting, and puppets. There are satanic rituals, disgruntled "Hollywood" set employees, and a virgin sacrifice, and if you think we can tell you what it all means, well...that's your mistake. Hope everyone enjoyed the holidays, and we wish you all a very Happy New Year!...

We hope you're enjoying the holiday season because we're about to ruin it by reminding you that this movie exists. If you're looking for something to listen to while you travel over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house, why not re-live the trauma we exposed you to last Christmas with our coverage of The Gingerdead Man, starring Gary Busey and the thinnest plot available to script...

If you’re looking for a super intense and suspenseful Christmas thriller, Silent Night Fatal Night is NOT IT. Featuring the dullest female protagonist to ever disgrace our screens, the most incompetent sheriff in law enforcement history, and a kidnapping that a lot of people would consider a luxurious vacation, Lifetime’s latest holiday movie fails to convince us that anyone is in danger of dying...

You’re all gonna go NUTS for our first holiday movie of the season. Nutcracker Massacre is a sloppy delight, despite not living up to Dawn’s definition of a massacre. Come get lost in the lore with us as we attempt to make sense of this movie’s scant plot and why Clara’s Auntie Marie is explicably American in an otherwise English family. Grab your nuts (#justiceforJames) and settle in for some fes...

This movie doesn't eggsactly go...over easy, and your brain might feel a bit ~scrambled~ by the time it's over, but the yolk's on us because we're the ones who picked it to watch for the podcast. (Sorry not sorry for all the egg puns.) Hatching is an unexpectedly terrifying watch with disturbing bird-to-human transformations, the dreaded Mom-fluencer, and a surprising amount of goo.   Don’t forget...

Hey, y'all, remember when you were a teenager and your estranged parents sent you to ballet camp to teach you discipline but INSTEAD you decided to rebel and confess to committing a murder, which forces them to work together to cover for you and fall in love along way? No? Just us? Might be hard to relate to this one then. Let us walk you through the wildest reimagining of The Parent Trap we've ev...

Holy moly, it's been a long time since we've had a doozy like this. The awkward dialogue, the wooden acting, the lack of any appropriate reactions to completely bizarre scenarios -- it's all coming together to make one of the worst cinematic gumbos we've had the misfortune to experience (so far, anyway). We don't recommend viewing The Killing of a Sacred Deer, but we DO recommend listening to our...

As a special Halloween treat (or trick, depending on how you feel about our content), we are re-releasing our 2021 Spooky Season feature on Malignant! If you're not ready to let go of Halloween just yet, grab some candy and join us as we revisit one of the wildest movie twists we've covered on the podcast.   Don’t forget to rate and subscribe! Follow us on:  Twitter: @ih8itletswatch Instagram: @ih...

Our fourth and final movie of Spooky Season 2023 features an exceptionally annoying female main character, a metric butt-ton of sorority girl stereotypes, and an animatronic sloth with a bad haircut. Slotherhouse is either a delight or a snoozefest, depending on which of your lovely podcast hosts you believe, but what we can all agree on is that there are few things in this world more ridiculous t...

For Week 3 of Spooky Season, we bring you an erotic thriller titled Fair Play that is neither erotic nor thrilling. However, the frighteningly accurate portrayal of a man’s reaction when things don’t go his way could actually be spookier than any ghost or goblin this Halloween. We cover a lot of whiny babies on this podcast, but nothing is worse than this petulant man-child. But does he get what h...

Our second feature film of Spooky Season is for all our claustrophobes, thalassophobes, and tokophobes. Good luck to y’all with this one. Join us on the edge of our seat as we talk through this absolutely insane survival story which essentially boils down to a one-woman, two-hour bottle episode that gets a whole lot worse before remotely getting better. If you’re prone to queasiness, you’ve been w...