Honeydew Me

Last week, a top couples therapist presented us with the research. This week it’s just us, no therapist in the room, trading what has actually worked in our own long-term relationships (and what has very much not). Cass gets into her current trying-list for keeping sex alive when she's tired, parenting, and has nothing left. Em gets into how she ruined sex for herself in past relationships wit...

Zach Brittle is a Gottman-certified couples therapist in Seattle, host of Marriage Therapy Radio, and author of the upcoming book Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes . He's been happily married for 27 of 30 years (as in he GETS IT and has actually done the work) and has interviewed hundreds of couples, which means when he talks about relationships, he's not guessing. He joins Em and Cass fo...

One of you confessed: "I fear I'll never truly feel hot or sexy, and admitting that makes me feel even more lame." Em and Cass dive into why hotness feels like a make-or-break game we literally can't win: the impossible standards, the "hot girls are just born that way" myth, the way our attractiveness has been sold to us as our only real form of power, and why insecurity it...

We’re digging into the Honey Archives to bring back one of our favorite conversations, and one we think everyone could use a little refresher on. Anna Kai, creator of Maybe Both and one of our favorite internet hype women, joins us for a brutally honest conversation about confidence, self-worth, comparison, and figuring out who the hell you are when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would....

Aja Vines... intuitive guide, oracle reader, and self-appointed "rebirth doula" who has personally survived approximately 100 identity pivots and expects to survive 100 more before she leaves this earth. She joins Em and Cass for a shamelessly real conversation about big pivots. Together they unpack why leaving something without a backup plan is sometimes the most sane thing you can do, wh...

Serena F*cking Kerrigan... your favorite creator and soon to be new favorite author of the upcoming book Let's F*cking Date. A dating bible for all our girlies who are currently in the "trenches" of the dating world and looking for a way to "become the prize, enjoy the ride, and never settle again." She joins Em and Cass for a ZERO BS breakdown of everything we're getting w...

A listener wrote in mortified: "I do stuff in fights with my boyfriend that I would be so embarrassed for my friends to find out about. Very petty shit. Bringing up things from years ago, silent treatment, crying to get my way. Am I just an immature bitch?" We dive in head first with our own worst fighting confessions, from slamming doors to walking away for attention. Spoiler: we've d...

A listener wrote in, and she's pissed. She's been dropping spicy hints like nobody's business (wearing what he likes, flirty comments, changing with the door open), and her partner isn't picking up on any of them. She wants him to initiate. She wants to feel pursued. And yes, she knows she could just ask. Em and Cass get into how we all still want a mind-reader, the community polls...

Alyssa Ljub is an intimacy and relationship expert who coaches dozens of couples a day in her role as a concierge at Arya. She joins Em and Cass to unpack the biggest hurdles couples hit when it comes to sex, why scheduling sex is FAR from unsexy, the difference between responsive and spontaneous desire, and the most common ways rejection shows up in long-term relationships. Find Alyssa at @alyssa...

Dr. Justin Garcia is the Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, chief scientific advisor to Match, and the author of the new book  The Intimate Animal . He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on why modern intimacy feels so hard, and why he's optimistic about it anyway. They get into the intimacy crisis (why we can be surrounded by people and still feel...

A listener wrote in asking about a version of jealousy a lot of us are ashamed to admit: "I don't feel excited when good things happen to my friends anymore. Engagements, promotions, pregnancies, whatever. I fake it every time and feel like a monster." Em and Cass dive in head first with their own confessions, including the jealousy they've felt toward each other, which they've...

Brooke Bralove has spent 22 years as a sex therapist helping women figure out what's actually going on when desire disappears. Her take: your desire isn't broken or gone, it's just stuck. She joins Em and Cass to talk about why the sex we had at the beginning of a relationship isn't coming back (and why we need to grieve that), why "just try to be in the mood" is terrible a...

We all want closer friendships, but too few of us are actually having the conversations that would get us there. This week Em and Cass answer a listener question about how to have hard conversations with friends, and get into the years they spent hiding things from each other: postpartum shame, a months-long sex-life crisis, feeling left out, feeling jealous, feeling like too much. They read the c...

HOT RELATIONSHIP TIP: fighting isn’t a bad thing… but you do need to learn how to fight fair. Emmalee Bierly, LMFT and Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT of Shrink Chicks are back and this time they’re sharing their expert tips on how to fight. We cover: -Why fighting is actually a part of a healthy relationship -How to fight fair -How to regulate your emotions during a fight -Scripts for expressing your feel...

Dr. Adi Jaffe has a PhD in psychology from UCLA, is a TEDx speaker, and founded IGNTD, a platform reframing how we talk about addiction, shame, and recovery. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on addiction, mental health, and the skill nobody teaches us: how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. They get into what addiction actually is, why so many of us are quietly...

Dr. Adi Jaffe has a PhD in psychology from UCLA, is a TEDx speaker, and founded IGNTD, a platform reframing how we talk about addiction, shame, and recovery. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on addiction, mental health, and the skill nobody teaches us: how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. They get into what addiction actually is, why so many of us are quietly...

A listener's boyfriend called her high maintenance in front of his friends, and now she's second-guessing everything. Em and Cass are here to break it down and help her figure it out. They share the results of their (very amateur) research... because it turns out 60% of you have also been called high maintenance. They read your stories, come clean about their own, and get honest about the...

A listener's boyfriend called her high maintenance in front of his friends, and now she's second-guessing everything. Em and Cass are here to break it down and help her figure it out. They share the results of their (very amateur) research... because it turns out 60% of you have also been called high maintenance. They read your stories, come clean about their own, and get honest about the ways in...

Laura Federico is a certified sex therapist. Morgan Miller is a certified professional midwife who runs a birth center in Maine. They've been friends since their early twenties and recently co-authored "The Cycle Book," a guide and tracking tool built to teach people about their hormones before they're in crisis. They join Em and Cass to talk about why most of us only learn about o...

Laura Federico is a certified sex therapist. Morgan Miller is a certified professional midwife who runs a birth center in Maine. They've been friends since their early twenties and recently co-authored "The Cycle Book," a guide and tracking tool built to teach people about their hormones before they're in crisis. They join Em and Cass to talk about why most of us only learn about our cycles when s...

A listener wrote in about her upcoming girls' weekend. The rental has a hot tub, everyone's going to be in bikinis, and she's nervous about how she looks in a bathing suit. Em and Cass share their own experiences navigating this exact scenario, plus a few tips for managing the anxiety without limiting your damn life. From there, Cass walks us all through her recent nose job: why she wa...

A listener wrote in about her upcoming girls' weekend. The rental has a hot tub, everyone's going to be in bikinis, and she's nervous about how she looks in a bathing suit. Em and Cass share their own experiences navigating this exact scenario, plus a few tips for managing the anxiety without limiting your damn life. From there, Cass walks us all through her recent nose job: why she wanted it, the...

You asked, our favorite gynecologist answered. We brought Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB-GYN of 30 years, back on Honeydew Me to tackle the questions our community has been too nervous to ask their own doctors (which we COMPLETELY understand).  Before we got into your questions, she explained exactly why so many of us feel behind: most of us learned about sex from porn, a sibling, or a...

You asked, our favorite gynecologist answered. We brought Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB-GYN of 30 years, back on Honeydew Me to tackle the questions our community has been too nervous to ask their own doctors (which we COMPLETELY understand).  Before we got into your questions, she explained exactly why so many of us feel behind: most of us learned about sex from porn, a sibling, or a...

Anna Nickerson is the founder of Cherry, the first brand closing the gap between period care and pleasure. Their first product is a menstrual disc designed for completely mess-free period sex. She joins Cass and Emma to talk about why period sex is still taboo (and what we lose by avoiding it: roughly seven years of sex over a woman's lifetime), how to actually use a disc without panicking, th...