Helen's Log

It’s the final episode of season one, so we’re finishing off with a bang! We have the fantastic Nish Kumar with us and even better we have him in a Goofy hat. Thank you for being with us for this series and we hope you enjoy ending series one on questions like “were surgeons butchers?”, football injuries, ass shots, electric shot puzzles, prime ministers and Helen’s second puberty.  Email us!...

It’s our penultimate episode of Series One and Helen’s learning to flirt. Here to help is comedy’s biggest stud, Ele Mckenzie! This is truly a gift of an episode so please enjoy toileting at home, ghosts, peeing, vloggers, what we eat in a day and lots of vibrator chat. Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon https://www.patreon.com/helenslog Or watch full episodes on YouTub...

Helen’s had a dream takeaway and we’re discussing dream jobs, first jobs and Gelato. If you love London zoo you’re in for a real treat as our wonderful guest Alice gives us the inside scoop on lions, tigers and bears. Not forgetting the nocturnal animals section. We also deep dive into hustling and picking up snails. Enjoy!  Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon &nbsp...

Helen’s back in the UK and flying solo today. She’s had the time of her life in Oz but thankfully is back for her dear logs. Get ready to hear all about why watching a horror film in a middle seat feels illegal, birdwatching, being caught short in a supermarket, galas, reviews and botanical gardens. Thank gawd she’s home! Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https:/...

Gather, gather because it’s the safety episode! We recorded this a million years ago in case Helen was ever stuck in a cave and couldn’t make it to the studio. It’s the Wild West of an episode, we talk a lot about inner childs, therapy, parents, Furbies, resting and Spotify playlists.  Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/helenslog ...

Helen had a revelation in TK Maxx and the wonderful Olga Koch is here! If you’ve ever wanted to listen to a podcast that talks about Russian food and nipple hair in the same breath, today's your lucky day. Get ready for a pube that dreamed a dream, Australia, Brat, pickling watermelon, husbands-to-be, karaoke and Helen in a Russian Air BnB. TW: Discussion of Body Image/ Disordered Eating that some...

Helen’s wearing a thong for the first time since she was a teenager to celebrate the fact that our words of wisdom history expert, Pierre is back in the studio! We’re finally breaking the silence on “What bloody happened when the Romans left and we started the Medieval period?” Tune in for town elders, maps, waxing, Paris Hilton, boners of the mind and sharks in the Colosseum. Email us! helenslogp...

Helen’s heading to Bilbao but before Fleet goes on tour we have the incredible Desiree Birch with us! It’s time to get stuck in to stuffed crusts, credit cards, body shelves, dismantling systems, Winnie the Pooh and answering Helen’s dad’s question “How many people in the audience?” TW: This episode features discussion of eating disorders, death and grief which some listeners may find upsetting. E...

Helen’s still not smoking so we’re celebrating with hypothetical party bags. Grab one and join us for today’s topics: the G spot, night outs, new comer competitions, Tooting Common, getting older and having a piss on the Strand.  Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/helenslog  Or watch full episodes on YouTube  https://www...

Why do we bow in church? And what exactly is a boob spot? Just two of the important questions discussed in this week's episode. We’ve got such a brilliant guest with us and naturally Helen and Stevie are diving straight into describing their perfect pencil cases. Warning: there will be gel pens, school discos, Austin Powers and IBS along the way.  Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear...

It’s a spring solo ep and Helen’s brought in a collagen sachet and has a nicotine patch firmly attached to her boob for the occasion. No better way to start talking about quitting, asthma, screen time and the new disney film, Hoppers. We’ve also got a little taster on starting stand up (more of this in the extra episode on patreon). Happy listening! Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hea...

It’s a glorious day because we have longtime fan of the pod and dear friend, Rosie Jones in the studio with us. It’s a wild ride of an episode so hold on to your hats. Expect accidental product placement, Hamilton sing-a-longs, discussing breaking your hymen with a pencil case and asking life’s important questions such as “How many friends is too many friends?” Of course there will be filthy langu...

Today we have a bit of everything, from Helen’s History corner deep diving into unhinged historical romances to an impromptu chat with the fantastic Sean McLoughlin. Get ready for the roller coaster that is leech attacks, Babylonian beauty standards, family holidays at the age of 34 and medieval hot or not. Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www.patreon.co...

Helen has a stye but she’s had a posh omelette and to top it off the sweetest angel to have ever lived, Chloe Petts, is with us today so things are looking up! This episode is a real treat for the senses. Get ready for Disney trips, eye contact, arresting monarchs, sing-a-longs, lost ears, beloved children’s shows, unforgivable drama exam pieces, and a phenomenal closing performance from Chloe. Em...

This week we’re discussing Helen’s mouth breathing and who better to do that with than the wonderful Phil Wang. Get ready for a whirlwind as we deep dive into interactive museums, Shutter Island, Digimon, Pho, sealed over noses and taunting nursery rhymes.  TW: There is a discussion about death in the intro that some people may find upsetting so please do skip to the chat with Phil if you’d l...

It's Valentine's week, Helen’s hungover and we have a very special guest to mark the occasion. Get ready as we pull on your heart strings and discuss Omaze houses, risky texts, soft play and the Beast (of Beauty And The Beast fame). Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon https://www.patreon.com/helenslog Or watch full episodes on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@HelenBaBaue...

Helen announced the morning of the record that this week there’s not one but TWO guests. It’s a whirlwind of baby boys, witches curses, trips to the dentist and rating which of Henry the VIII’s wives had it the worst. Enjoy the inner workings of Ed and Huge’s minds (their for you pages).  Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/helenslog&nb...

Helen’s prepared some questions. There’s more googling than sense in this episode and frankly it is the perfect level of chaos. We have the fantastic Chris Macarthur-Boyd with us teaching us about a kettle with a massive face and even bigger tunes, kids home makeover shows and tank top slogans.  Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/helen...

What a wild ride of an episode, we have the wonderful Tamsyn Kelly with us and there’s even a (telephone) appearance from the infamous Micheal Bauer, otherwise known as Helen’s Dad. This week we’re reminiscing about primary school weddings, facebook albums and alcohol pops. So stick around and enjoy us figuring out what the hell St John’s ambulance is. Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear...

It’s cold. We want to be at home and cosy but we’re here recording because we’re FAITHFULS. To keep you warm we’ve got the one and only Sunil Patel, otherwise known as Helen’s ex-housemate, to give us the hot goss on topics such as hosting etiquette, weekly shops, AI death row meals and “How am I supposed to hug someone’s mother?” Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon http...

2026 is coming at us fast. Helen has a spot in her ear and Rose Johnson graces us with her presence to look in said ear and of course we dissect our Christmases, the contents of chest freezers and get our minds blown by inventions from the 90s.  MERCH MERCH MERCH https://visualanticsapparel.com/collections/helens-log-podcast EXTRA WEEKLY EPISODES  https://www.patreon.com/helenslog ...

Happy new year! It’s our first episode of 2026 and we’re here to soothe your hangovers and chat resolutions.   So let’s start the year with a bang and talk dating with intention, being chill as f*ck, joyriding and those all important big shops.  We can’t wait for the year ahead with you, here’s to 2026! Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www...

Merry Christmas one and all! Santa’s been and Call the Midwife is nearly on the telly. We hope you’re having a wonderful day full of mince pies and cheer. Come celebrate with us as we discuss gifts, Christmas dinner, families, a Santa phobia and disappearing dads.  Email us!  helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/helenslog  Or watch...

It’s nearly Christmas so this week we’re bad mouthing King Herod and discussing the Nativity at length. Better yet, we have dear friend of the pod Alison Spittle back to help us. You can look forward to bitching about the three wise men and getting the part of Mary. There’s also some theatre recommendations along the way. Email us! helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon https://www.p...

Come shopping at Claire’s Accessories with us while we discuss what pyjamas we’re wearing, our unfortunate spotify wrapped, advocating for yourself and emotional intelligence. You can also expect a detailed account of Helen’s countryside weekend and why we still hate Hilary’s blinds.  Email us!  helenslogpodcast@gmail.com To hear more join Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/helenslog&...