Happy Slut

Isaac Cardona has a degree in accounting, a penchant for devising ambitious community service projects, a vanilla husband he calls his soulmate, and a deep desire to be flogged by his sir. He's also my very first local happy slut! Based right here in San Antonio, Texas, a place one might not expect there to be a social group for gay men who love leather. AND YET! Isaac is one of the founding membe...

Taara Rose and her partner James were literally crowned Queen and King of the swinger community, but during the pandemic, Taara realized her pleasure had never been her priority. She set out to reconnect with her body, understand her own pleasure, and start advocating for it in all of her encounters. And the results...? Let's just say fire emojis abound, pinecones. And uhh, Taara got a tattoo of t...

A man who makes the plans, cooks the meals, puts his phone away, and genuinely loves giving women pleasure? Pinecones, we need to talk. George Goulburn is a 54-year-old Australian male escort who traded corporate life for a career making women feel safe, seen, and wanted. His bookings can include beach getaways, home-cooked dinners, and plenty of sex—but the attention he describes giving his clien...

Abortion is good for sex. I SAID IT, pinecones. I’m proudly pro-abortion for lots of reasons, but one of them is that without abortion access, consenting to sex can mean consenting to pregnancy…and y’all, that can really, really ruin sex. And then there are all the other, bigger reasons: women being able to control their own bodies, direct their own lives, and not be forced to give birth when they...

Getting tested for STIs is responsible. But what if your “comprehensive” STI test…isn’t actually comprehensive? Shameless Care founder Robert Johnson found that out the hard way when he tested negative for gonorrhea while unknowingly carrying it in his throat and passing it to a partner. That experience eventually led him to build Shameless Care, a sex-positive telehealth company designed to fill...

Natalie Davis was a straight-and-narrow, rule-following lawyer mom who married her college boyfriend and fully expected to live happily ever after inside the white-picket-fence monogamy model. Then her husband cheated—and eventually asked whether they could start having sex with other people. What followed was messy, painful, liberating, awkward, sexy, and completely life-altering. Natalie is now...

Pinecones, this week I'm talking to JessJess — party producer, president of Mission Control, organizer with the Bonobo Network, and the woman behind Beyond the Rainbow Events, which throws some of the most thoughtfully inclusive parties in the Bay Area. She's also been non-monogamous since high school, survived a marriage that ended in a way I wouldn't wish on anybody, and rebuilt her whole life i...

PINECONES I'M OVER THE MOON! Mina was my anonymous guest in episode 10 of Closeted , "My First Boyfriend Suffered a Lot Because My Sex Drive Was Too High." (Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/10-my-first-boyfriend-suffered-a-lot-because-my-sex/id1832942242?i=1000734016272 ) Back then, she was closeted, living with her parents, and maintaining a secret menagerie of lovers. Now, she'...

One of the biggest things making a joyful sex life hard to cultivate in patriarchy is our collective acceptance of patriarchal beauty standards. These bullshit standards have convinced almost everyone that they're not sexy. IT'S A LIE, PINECONES, IT'S A DIRTY LIIIIIIIE. All sorts of bodies are sexy, all sorts of people are sexy, and there really is someone for everyone - but only if we are able to...

Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant, loves helping couples struggling to reconcile a mismatch in their desires, specifically surrounding kink. She's a certified Somatica sex and relationship coach and certified sexologist who specializes in couples where one partner is kinky and the other one isn't, and the way she works with them will change how you think about asking for what you want, whether you...

Marni Kinrys is the dating coach of every nervous, awkward man's dreams, pinecones. She developed her Wing Girl Method over years of watching good men fumble every time they try to connect with women - and her practical techniques for sparking attraction will make you more confident connecting with others, no matter who you are. In this episode: Why the "nice guy" is just the other side of the ass...

My new crush Annette Benedetti — intimacy coach and host of Talk Sex with Annette — is one of the most joyful, flirty humans I've ever talked sex with. And she got here the hard way: surviving assault at 13, a town that acted like it was her fault, and decades of healing before finding her voice again. This is the story movies never tell — the part after , where you survive, you still want sex, an...

Pinecones, this week is a little different: a joint episode! I traveled to Houston to sit down with John and Jackie Melfi—leaders in the American swinger community, owners of the legendary Colette lifestyle clubs (Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and New Orleans), and the couple behind OpenLove101.com , where I used to blog back in the day. Between them they've got three-plus decades of exper...

Pinecones, I am GLOWING. This week I sat down with a legend: Polly Superstar—founder of San Francisco's iconic Mission Control and the global Kinky Salon movement, latex fashion designer, author of the memoir Polly: Sex Culture Revolutionary , and now the magical mermaid behind the Writing with Mermaids somatic writing retreats. For 25 years, Polly threw the most whimsical, artistic, immersive sex...

I met Lyra at Dixie De La Tour's birthday orgy in San Francisco. (Yes, that's a sentence I get to say now.) We made out, she flew across the country a few weeks later to spend 28 magical hours with me and my partner Daniel, and my crush on her is TRULY ridiculous. Lyra is a professional dominatrix and sex educator based in the San Francisco Bay Area who specializes in pegging, anal play, and helpi...

Alex is a straight Black man in his mid-forties who has only had one relationship in his entire life. For years, loneliness, rejection, and crushing social anxiety convinced him that women were the problem, and he reinvented himself as a huge jerk for most of his adult life. Deep down, though, he was carrying wounds much older and deeper than he realized. In this brutally honest conversation, we t...

It's my goal to get as many of my comet lovers (and anchor lovers!) on the show as possible, and Billy Procida, Jr., is the first! Huzzah! I have such a crush. Billy is a comedian, writer, and podcaster out of New York City. He's been producing weekly episodes of the Manwhore Podcast for 12 years now, and his Naked Comedy Show - which is exactly what it sounds like - sells out every month in Brook...

I'm bringing you a delicious glimpse into my current sex and love life this week, pinecones, and it is JUICY. Basically, a woman my partner Daniel and I met at a sex party flew across the country to spend intimate time with us and IT. WAS. MAGICAL. And unexpectedly healing. In this episode: • Why I think great sex can be profoundly healing • How being deeply desired is changing my relationship wit...

Content warning: Mentions of sexual assault and child sexual abuse. We live within a system that allows sexual abuse of all kinds to flourish without much accountability, and because of that, a lot of us carry deep trauma around sex and intimacy. Rachel (Rae) Halder is one of those people, and she's also a certified trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach with over a decade of experience hel...

Ali Bravo is a professional orgy organizer, a sex positive educator, a kinky leather artist, and a powerhouse force for destigmatizing kink, pleasure, and desire. When I met her in person a couple of weeks ago at Dixie De La Tour's Birthday Forgy (Friend Orgy), she was freshly resourced from her pre-party kink scene with one of her partners, a man who goes by the moniker Pleasure Wizard (and appar...

Mila Jam is an international pop sensation, an artivist (activist + artist), a trans icon, a rising star, and somehow magically also my friend?!?!? How did life get so cool? Mila and I go deep in this conversation. We talk about gender, womanhood, dating, celibacy, the “boyfriend show,” patriarchal conditioning, trans visibility, intimacy, emotional labor, and why so many modern women are just…tir...

What if queerness was infinite, instead of limited by the strict rules and norms of our patriarchal world? What if we abandoned the binary of tops and bottoms, gays and straights, women and men, and embraced the idea--nay, the reality!--that all of us are fluid, ever-changing beings with deep wellsprings of desire and turn-on we would never know about if we didn't get curious and explore? I talk a...

In this episode, I ask myself why , oh whyyy , am I so weird with women? I love them, I've known I'm attracted to them both sexually and romantically since I was a kid, and yet I've only managed to have one relationship with a woman that only lasted six weeks in college and otherwise have been a massive failure in the lady-dating department. And I'm not alone. I've heard lots of bisexual girlies t...

Fox is a happily married parent with a normal work and home life...and a spicy social life with his kinky friends. Ooh la la! In this audio-only episode with Happy Slut's very first anonymous guest, we get into what happens when a self-described “regular Joe” follows his curiosity into the world of kink play and wildly honest connection—and finds out it sets him free. We talk about: The super-slow...

Callie Little is a polyamorous, pansexual witch who illustrated and co-authored my favorite tarot deck, Every Little Thing You Do is Magic, and its incredible companion book, which offers readers the opportunity to deepen their relationship with the cards and their own intuition. I reached out to them to replace two cards my dog had chewed up and they responded saying they checked out the pod and...