Going Terribly

Give a hearty HO HO HO to our special guest: King of the Food Court, Llama with the Drama, Lover of Christmas, ANDY JONES! Gifts and games and merriment ensue. And a special treat for you all: alternative episode titles! Three Plump, Spicy Breasts in a Hulk Hogan Christmas Vehicle Three Gullible Watermelons in a Tragic Ice Cream Maker Story Three Jehovah's Fitness Gurus in a French Christmas Horro...

There are a lot of porny puns in this one! You're welcome :) Other discussion topics may include: - The generous way to be the stranger danger for a kid during the holidays - An examination of food holidays that aren't presidentially sanctioned - Dangers of using nougat for sexual purposes - The strange (DEADLY?!!?!) allure of Hawaii during Eruption Season - Is it okay to pre-freeze a cow's b...

We talk books. Both the moral and ethical kind, but also the outdated, pee-stained, bathroom readers kind. Other discussion topics may include: - How enjoying a nice flatbread can get you speared in the gut - Jill Diligence: Baptist nurse/wordy cookbook author - What is your favorite flavor of rigmarole? - Life tips, such as "Don't give a shark to a toddler, or vice versa" - Did the tomb smell?

You know what's great?  A really, really, great sandwich. And killing many birds with one stone. Other discussion topics may include: - Omniscient phone calendars - Learning how to plow corn to appease your favorite celebrity - Strap-on video game controllers - How to tell your iPhone you're leaving them for an Android - Fictitious scientific studies on haggis hushpuppies, clogging toilets, a...

Did you know gefilte fish is the second most popular Thanksgiving meat? Join us for more fish-related games and trivia, as well as a special fishy guest: THE RED HERRING!!! Other discussion topics may include: - The undeniable allure of a basketball referee's whistle - What is your favorite hard drug to use as a pizza topping? - Speaking to God while standing in the bathtub - Celebrating the innov...

Doug and Alice went to Nashville for Alice's birthday, and of course Alice had to f*ck around and find out if Krystal is superior to White Castle. Oh she's gonna get an earful when she returns home. Other discussion topics may include: - Hitting up botanical gardens and destroying hot tubs like celebrities - How much wood would Woodcheek cheek if Woodcheek was Cheekwood? - Why your art should alwa...

It's Election Day. Again. (and almost Alice's birthday, but sssshhh...it's a no frills surprise) Other discussion topics may include: - Who's bigger than Shakespeare, Sondheim, and DiMaggio?* - A healthy diet of poultry and children - Beautiful displays that make you wish you could destroy them - What IS a free standing bridge?** - The groundbreaking, yet unsuccessful political career of Olympia D...

It's the day after Halloween!!!! *evil laugh* *blood-curdling scream* And our MAD Halloween horror hound, Kevin Roach, is back to regale us with stories of THE OTHER Kevin Roach...  No, not figuratively, like the characters Kevin plays in horror movies (though there is a bit of that). It's literally another local guy with the same name who routinely gets arrested on drug or assault charges an...

IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR EXTRA LIFE! And we've got Power(up) Couple Josh Weiland and Gennie Adams on the pod, promoting our 24-hour video game fundraiser and sharing stories of possum trauma, lexical smushing, and mild scissoring. It's a gas! Tune into our marathon on Facebook, YouTube, or Twitch, happening THIS SATURDAY! October 29th 8am-8am CDT https://unfinisheddynamos.com/ Watch our sleep deprived...

Alice has a case of the Melonhead, and now she and Doug can't elope. Wait, what? Other discussion topics may include: - An episode dedicated to (yet only briefly mentioning) the NBA - Getting filed and defiled at the dentist - Gigantic, hideous face moles and the unfortunate podcast hosts who must hide them - The seemingly untapped market of cartoon needles in Hollywood - Dead tissue...down there

We talk about Alice's dentist again. And Paducah. They really are just founts of conversational intrigue. Other discussion topics may include: - The possibility of a Tarantino-Pixar collaboration - How sad it is when a child actor grows up and doesn't get offered child parts anymore - When demeaning nicknames sound right - Neo-noir stoner flicks - How the genius of Robert Palmer is giving back now...

In this here episode, we ask perhaps the hardest hitting question we ever have asked: can...vegans...swallow? *wink wink nudge nudge* It's all downhill from here! Wait, so does that expression mean it's easy peasy lemon squeezy now after all that trudging uphill? Or does it mean things are going to pot? Other discussion topics may include: - Does your own fruit count as a fruit? - Krystal Meets Wh...

This is the episode where Alice steals all of Doug's segments.  Not like his thorax or abdomen, but like his bits.  Not his gizzards and giblets, but like his -- oh whatever, just listen and find out. Other discussion topics may include: - What is a toy? Is a game a toy? Is a stick a toy? Are you a toy? - A long overdue 30-second discussion about Connecticut's only city - National Crush...

You know what's interesting? Regular automobile maintenance. And vending machine snacks from the early-aughts. And admirably petty multi-million dollar lawsuits. Ooooh yeah.... Other discussion topics may include:  - Mama's Family: A one-sided celebration of a forgotten masterpiece - Giant tablets and macro Metamucil - Things you can do with your arms - Clan McClurkic and the Charge for Air:...

Happy 2nd Podcast-aversary to us! To celebrate, we invited thespian, power lifter, and Stephen King fan, Wendy Brown, to the pod! She's not a psychotic, deranged, ax-wielding fan. She just plays one on stage... Other discussion topics may include: - Kevin Costner's forgotten weightlifting movie - Fart Thrower, The Occasional Blow, and other ineffective superheroes - The best chicken and dog impres...

101 episodes in, and we're still finishing each other's complexly Oedipal eructions. Other discussion topics may include: - Video game farming, fishing, and dog bonding - Human intervention's effect on elements of nature, such as microphones - Who would you want to play your father in a basic cable mystery comedy? - A deep discourse on chairs and their occasional unchairness - The disappointment o...

CONGRATULATIONS TO US ON 100 INANE, EDIFYING, SCATOLOGICAL, SESQUIPEDALIAN EPISODES OF GOING TERRIBLY! To celebrate, we invited our first virtual guest! Doug's old friend and Actual Famous Person™, Jonathan Pretus , of the podcast Ranking the Beatles, the cover band Big in the 90s, and co-composer of "The Girls are Back in Town" performed by Chapel Hart on America's Got Talent ! Get ready for some...

This is the episode in which we talk about grooming. Whichever kind you're thinking of, it's probably that. Other discussion topics may include: - Real fantasy lands and the imaginary authors who wrote about them - Is it ever okay to throw your virility in someone's face? So to speak. - The word "nefarious" is used a lot. Perhaps a nefarious amount. So if you like the word "nefarious" you should b...

Doug has never taken to the skies, so he thought that the way Baggage Claims are depicted in media was just abbreviated versions of a meticulous real-life process of matching each individual passenger's claim check with their rightful bags. But no. It's all a lawless free-for-all, and any sociopath can just walk in and take a bag off the carousel just because they could. Other discussion topics ma...

Everyone knows peanuts aren't nuts, but did you know that strawberries, blackberries, and raspberries are not berries? Get ready to learn so much in this episode, y'all. Other discussion topics may include: - Nobody has ever seen George W. Bush and Jimmy Stewart in the same place at the same time. Coincidence? - Sneaking zucchinis and tangenting off to nuts (relax, neither is dirty...this time) -...

We’ve got a Sam’s Club-sized It Went Terribly this week! Here are some Member's Mark alternative titles: Two Juicy Fingers in a Hot Brown Two Two-Tailed Mermaids in a Deep-Diving Treasure Hunt for Meat Two Bird Humans in a Sweet Little Lie Two Different Colored Eyes in a Coroner Two Stirrups, Anvils, and Hammers in a Box of French-Canadian Toast Crunch Two Vertical Gestures in a Follicular Ca...

What important life skills did you learn as a kid? How to tie your shoes? Wipe your ass? Actually call a store on the telephone to dispute their return policy? Gracious, how soft we've become... Other discussion topics may include: - Practical joking (and possibly inappropriate) priests - Learning Jason Statham life facts, but not knowing any of his movies - An accidental exploration of the great...

Take your codeine and oxycontin, and rev up your entrepreneurial spirit cuz there are some new coffee brands and old, YA-inspired bands that need representation! Other discussion topics may include: - The heroic, caffeine-charged sea tales of Ishmael Starbuck - Do you have a problem heating cute things in the microwave? - The story of Snape, the first simp - Which Beatle would *you* dip in chocola...

It's almost time for Nation Alice Cream Day! So warm up your tongues and spoons and say, "Not today, lactose intolerance!" cuz we're doing our annual 10-stop ice cream crawl this Sunday, and WE'LL PROBABLY SEE YOU AROUND. Other discussion topics may include: - A thoughtful examination of childhood stereotypes, from the skinny kid to the fat kid to the kid who lives dangerously by "climbing on rock...

It's Christmas in July, and we have a 1776-sized It Went Terribly for ya that answers those deep, hard-hitting questions like, "Why are there so many names for White Elephant gift exchanges?" and "Who the hell is still naming a baby, Dick?" Other discussion topics may include: - A recap of last week's episode of "How to Get Away with Your Mother" - Are refrigerators the cell phones of tomorrow? Po...