Flying Free

Have you ever been told you are incorrigible? Or how about contumacious, which means stubbornly and willfully disobedient to authority? Janet’s church promised to help and protect her, but when she decided to set a boundary to protect herself by divorcing her abuser, they turned on her with this vicious name-calling.  Sort of like her abuser, come to think of it.  In this final episode of our exco...

In part two of our excommunication series, I interview Valerie, a former member of a Reformed Baptist church that excommunicated her for divorcing her unfaithful and emotionally abusive husband. After years of receiving “help” from her church as she endured betrayal after betrayal from her husband, she said enough was enough. But even as she divorced her husband and then tried to leave the church...

“ Your high-handed sin against God is a dangerous domain, especially for those that claim Christ and have identified with the church .” Mareida read these words in shock after her “sin” of running away from her abuser had reached the ears of her church.  Marieda has a story to tell, and you’ll want to listen in. It’s a story of freedom from emotional abuse and then being punished for it by the chu...

Is teaching survivors how to have boundaries the equivalent of victim blaming? I’ve seen this topic come up again and again, and I thought it was time I stated what I believe about it. The bottom line is that I believe that boundaries is an essential tool in a survivor’s toolbox. I also believe abuse is never, ever the survivor’s fault. Those two beliefs can go hand in hand nicely, and I’m going t...

I gratefully and joyfully, with so much love , offer my brand new book, All the Scary Little Gods, to you! WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR: Anyone who has suffered from anxiety in their relationship with God Perfectionists Fear filled folks Angry survivors Exhausted women who are just “done” Confused Christians Searchers and seekers Grievers The Guilty The Shamed Anyone who just only ever wanted to be loved....

Deconstruction can seem daunting, and you might find yourself becoming fearful of even starting. But let me tell you this: Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your church family. Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your faith. Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your relationship with God. In today’s episode, Angela Herrington joins us to talk about the following: How faith de...

We are gearing up for the release of my brand new book, All the Scary Little Gods , which will be available on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and Audible formats on February 20th. In this episode, you’ll get some more sneak peeks including the foreword by Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks and chapters about my first kiss in college plus a time when I thought “crying out to God” would bring back some mail-in-...

Have you ever been told to, “first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye” in regards to your emotionally abusive marriage? That passage of the Bible is often used to mutualize the sin of the abuser and his victim. This is called sin-leveling, and it’s a form of spiritual abuse.  Karen McMahon is here to show us how...

During the entire year of 2023, I wrote a book. It was not an easy book for me to write, emotionally, and I’m glad to be done and even more glad to release it into the world soon. In this episode, I discuss why I titled my new book, All the Scary Little Gods , and I explain the symbolism on the front cover. Please note: In today's episode, which was recorded several months ago, I mention that All...

“Communication is key,” right? But healthy communication often isn’t possible with an emotionally abusive individual who twists your words and uses them against you.  Today’s conversation is with Mikki Gardner, Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach. Mikki’s expertise and knowledge will help propel you forward as you learn how to deal with toxic communication cycles in the context of co-parent...

“I’m really struggling with feeling extremely lonely. How did you deal with this in a healthy way? “How do you cope with loneliness? A shattered, broken heart?” “We don’t speak to each other at all most of the time, so I just get really lonely for human fellowship and interaction.” “I’m feeling really isolated. I just feel sad and alone.” “I need help dealing with how lonely I feel all the time. ”...

On January 1st I asked the Christian women in my private forum to tell me what truth they learned in 2023 that had rocked their world and changed their life forever. Then I read their answers, and they took my breath away. When I started breathing again, I knew I had to share them with you, so I created this bonus Flying Free podcast episode AND a PDF download for you HERE. These are all written b...

Sometimes your circumstances are completely outside of your control, and no matter how much you may want to leave them behind you, you simply cannot. Sometimes this is the emotionally abused woman’s situation. They may want to leave, but they can’t do that today, tomorrow, or even next year. They have to stay for whatever reason. Are they doomed to a life of misery and pain? No. Absolutely not.  D...

Have you ever gone around in circles during a conversation with someone with no hope of ever reaching any kind of resolution? The abuse cycle is just like that — a never-ending loop of tension, an explosion, and then most confusing of all, a really “good” part of the cycle where the abuser is seemingly kind.  But how do we get off of this chaotic merry-go-round? How do we interrupt the cycle? I’m...

Getting out of an emotionally abusive marriage is one of the hardest things you could ever do. But the life and healing it can bring after you have finally left the grip of abuse makes this difficult journey worth it. In today’s episode, I want to outline a ten-step pathway if you or someone you love is considering getting out of an emotionally and spiritually abusive relationship. Come with me as...

One of the biggest hurdles to getting out of an abusive relationship is money. Today I’m answering two listener questions related to this issue. “Do I need to submit to having my credit and debit cards taken away and no access to money?”  “How do I launch myself financially after having no experience with money?”  These are very common questions emotional abuse survivors have, and I want to answer...

If you’ve ever flown on a plane, you know that in case of emergency, the flight attendants always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help your kids put on theirs. Healing is the same way. We can’t help our kids heal until we heal ourselves. If we stay stuck, our kids are going to suffer right along with us.  You get the opportunity to be your kids’ biggest hero, support, and...

Today’s episode is taken from a live Q&A I did a couple of months ago within the Flying Free program. In this episode, I cover the following issues: I keep feeling like his sadness, loss, and grief over losing me are all my fault. All of a sudden, my husband has a lawyer and a few other suspicious things going on. I know I need a lawyer now too, but I don't have any money and I don't have any...

What would you do if you found out that your husband of twenty-two years was arrested and put in jail for domestic violence during the time you were first dating him… and you didn’t know about it until now?  Stacie’s story is one of betrayal, loss, disappointment, and then a rising from the ashes. After twenty-two years, she finally had the bravery to say “no” to abuse and say “yes” to loving the...

Many emotional abuse victims have been accused of having a victim mentality—as if the abuse isn’t real. Some victims don’t like to be labeled a “victim.” It sounds weak and powerless. Recently, one of my listeners asked this question: “ How do we accept the reality of abuse without living as a victim? ” In today’s episode we’re going to clear up this confusion by answering the following questions:...

Join us for a conversation with our special guest, Rebecca Davis, author of the “Untwisting Scriptures” series. Her latest book on brokenness and suffering is the topic of today’s conversation, and we answer questions like “Do you have to be broken to be a good Christian?” “Does God break us down like He breaks down the wicked?” “Is God like a gumball machine - you have to put something in to get...

“How in the world am I going to tell my kids that we’re getting divorced?” Kids + divorce = a tricky topic, but I want to help calm your fears. I want to show you some questions you can ask yourself as you contemplate this big conversation with your children, and let’s give you some practical ideas as you introduce this new change in all of your lives. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a ques...

Is it me? Shelly thought it WAS her for so many years. “I must be the problem in my confusing marriage.” Today, our episode chronicles the story of her marriage to her second husband, a covert emotionally abusive man who even went so far as to *almost* convince her that she had Borderline Personality Disorder. Listen in as Shelly shares how she went from stuck to flying free. Read the show notes a...

Today I want to explore the four common responses people have when they have experienced or are experiencing something that is threatening or traumatic. In particular, I want to focus on the fawning response and how that relates to our view of and our relationship with God. Let’s break down our responses of fight, flight, fawn, and freeze, and then destroy the false, abusive version of the God tha...

Today I’m answering some more listener questions, including, “What do I do when I love my abusive husband so much?” “Should I give my abusive husband resources and books to read about his abuse?” and “Can my abusive husband change?” I KNOW you’ve thought of that last question yourself, so stick around, and let’s have a conversation about these important topics.  Key Points From This Episode: An an...