Elis James and John Robins

Gather round dear listeners, for today we record directly from the bus that Isy has thrown Elis under, on multiple occasions in recent weeks. Well, Elis is under the bus and John and Dave are very much on it, enjoying the ride. Kicking the journey off with some crucial survival tips, there’s discussions about how long you could survive without food or water, and whether you can drink your own urin...

Elis has written the most criminally boring novel of all time, totally by accident. Now that’s a skill, and resident money man Johnny JR has spotted a gap in the market and a chance at the big bucks. Never one to stray far from the finances, John has a one-track mind in today’s episode, with two tantalising tax emails, plus a brief foray into the world of Mr Beast. Elsewhere, The Cymru Connection...

Elis and John lead with the question “what are the biggest non-nuclear manmade explosions in history?” On later reflection this wasn’t something which would have worked in the compressed audio world of commercial radio. But it’s not all about big bangs. Certainly not in John’s current state. There’s many a shared story from listeners on the small kagoule front, and only some of them are squeamish....

It’s been a week of celebration at E&J towers; Elis has been 12th birthday partying with his daughter (and turned into a master chocolate pourer in the process) and Dave is about to/has just had his big day whilst walking around Harrogate with a bunch of lads. Different ages, different needs. There’s no celebration for John, however, who puts himself on the back foot trying to defend another o...

It’s a remote affair today and there are camera issues from the off. Elis looks like a billionaire, whilst John (your pixelated man on the street) and Dave look like they’re on a Zoom quiz in lockdown. The reason why we’re remote? Well, Britain’s spokesperson for intimate procedure journeys is back. And don’t worry, he’s got a metaphor based on cagoules that will easily explain everything. We also...

We’re creating water cooler moments here on Elis and John. From 'how many t-shirts do you own', to 'is there a God', via the state of play in the treehouse scene. Not sure how or why we got here, but there’s no doubt about it; we’re shaping the nation’s conversations. Move over Traitors, Elis and John are in town. Lightboards firmly switched up, John describes feeling all the emoti...

Horrific. Seething. Resentful. No, those aren’t the words which Dave is feeling towards City’s owners today. Rather it’s the state of Elis’s head right now. He’s hungover. Yes he’s been on a bender and is quite delicate. As he handles such a dainty state we’re left to stare down the barrel of a listener idea which gives him such anxiety he’d like to just go work on a farm. However, it could potent...

Poor old Elis. Just when he thought he’d been surprised enough this year we go and chuck another one his way. Because a famous ghost from his past is about to stroll into the studio and cause all sorts of emotions. But before then, a trip down memory lane with a Cymru Connectee gets his blood pumping with shame. And he explains why he’d spend his final day on earth signing up to LinkedIn. John’s a...

John’s having a nightmare because of a rapidly approaching admin hill AKA a holiday. He’s forgotten to count his t-shirts (but does it in his mind at the start of the show, don’t worry), and then his phone goes off mid-record. All this plus Dave’s confiscated his custard cream brownie until he starts behaving. Elis on the other hand is buzzing due to an impending trip to Lisbon for the return of h...

There’s been a quiet revolution in John’s life. In one sense everything has changed. In another sense it’s been a quiet couple of weeks. He’s within touching distance of something that no one thought possible: laundry zero. And continuing the clothes theme, inexplicably there’s a 15 minute debate about what a t-shirt is. We've said it before and we'll say it again: no one else is doing this. Elis...

Hosting on 6 Music has long been Elis’s back up for if John ever retires at Project 2032. Sadly Dave reveals some news which could cause deep damage to this long term strategy. Some surprises cause more anguish than others. Plus Dave and Elis are officially tired of the titling of the Sir Right Honourable Sir Dr John Robins MBE Esq, and Adrian has too much chard. What on earth is he to do? Kn...

Watch out world because there’s a new doctor in town, and he’s got big plans. Yes it’s Dr Robins from now on, and if he’s lucky maybe someone will even chuck an MBE at the end. This feels significant. But who is our esteemed doctor broadcasting with today? We’ll tell ya; a man who can’t keep his defining characteristic within the confines of his own podcast (Elis), and an iguanadon (Dave). All is...

Big week for Elis because he’s cried all the liquid out of his body in the cinema. Why? Well it’s obviously because a South American woman named her dog Bonehead. And he’s in a spoilery mood after his big premiere trip. Well as spoilery as you can be about a film about a greatest hits tour show anyway. To bring him back down to earth Elis does have his dirty / clean laundry aired on the biggest co...

Remember where you are when you listen to today’s episode, because it’s one for the history books. It’s earth-shattering. It’s a leap forward in what’s possible in broadcasting. It’s one small step for man, one giant leap for podcast-kind.  Because Elis James is about to eat a prune for the very first time in his life. We’ve got the tension music ready. This feels significant. This is histore...

John’s hammering away at the word count of his opinionated column again. This time in his crosshairs it’s e-scooters. Politically he’s a hard person to work out. Which from a balance perspective is actually very helpful. There's also reports from Pembrokeshire, and we hear from a character who has piqued the boys' interest lately. Plus, when there’s news of (yet more) boundary breaking content to...

It’s Lou Sanders FM once again and boy has she got Producer Dave sweating. From a pretty much unusable show introduction, to an anecdote that definitely flirts with the term ‘radio friendly’, one can only assume that Dave is dreaming of Elis’s swift return... But for now it’s Big Mummy and her Fact Factory, as Lou dishes up some tasty truths in the form of surprise facts about chickens and hiccups...

Lou is here! And she’s already made one friend and one enemy on the way in. Buckle up, in the first few minutes there are bad Welsh accents (sorry Elis) and promiscuous tales flying round the studio. Safe to say Dave is wishing he was still on holiday… Speaking of, John’s been on his holidays and even swam in the sea, twice. Get in the sea, change your state - Lou’s always said it. The colder the...

The tensest feature in global podcasting turns 100 today. That’s right, Elis James attempts his 100th Cymru Connection. This. Feels. Significant. His heart feels hot but his bum feels cold. Luckily his nads feel just right. He keeps repeating ‘Ruthin’ over and over again and his core temperature resembles that of an ill person. Can he reach the magic 50%? For the 100th time, let’s see. In other ne...

In significant happenings John reveals the longest relationship of his life and what has caused it to break down. Namely, a Boggle addiction. We also discover the silent reality of what it’s like to be his neighbour. Elsewhere, Dave has gone to a cuddly toy exhibition in Harrogate but we plough on in his absence. However the occasion where Dave can’t cut the tension when Elis tries to prove John w...

It’s a very prison-based episode today, as John reveals he might be going there for petty crime, and Elis draws parallels between Albert Camus’s prison-residing outsider Meursault and Johnny JR. Was Camus foreshadowing the life of our favourite Bristol-born broadcaster? But don’t worry, it’s not all highbrow existentialism. John discovers another self-penned story on his hard drive that involves f...

Robins has had a disaster. The sort of disaster that should only besiege Elis James. But what could it be? Tardiness? Something indicative of cognitive decline? Or maybe far worse? We also receive some very weak vindication for Elis after the mockery he received for his book openings, and we ask, would a 20 year old with a heavy goods vehicle licence be permitted to drive The Sportage? Got a £7 ba...

Well, well, well, well, well. Elis has officially completed the best gig of his life, and that’s even without his routine about Black Bart the pirate. A mere five and a half hours away by train, we have discovered his emotional hinterland: the Eisteddfod in Pembrokeshire. But away from the crowds, the choirs and the clog dancers, away from the druids and the dairy farmers, can our Welsh Hero handl...

The literary world has been set alight after a new best selling author was unveiled 30 years too late the other day. Is John Robins about to redefine the grounded motoring sci-fi genre for the 21st century? The first step is getting pointers from someone who’d consider 'thousands' of book sales to be small fry.  Elsewhere, Elis is being consistently told how hot and sexy he is by the British...

Elis may have been struggling with delayed trains, but fear not - it turns out our Producer Dave has a hotline to the Big Dog himself: Bandy Urnham. Nothing a quick phone call can’t fix… Plus, if you thought John's now-legendary Bag of Death was but a distant memory, think again, as the boys uncover the beginnings of a creative endeavour that our Thornbury wordsmith began at the age of just 13. An...

John has shaken up the show at a big meeting in Elis’s absence. He should be prepared. In the meantime, comedy fans have been getting the true Elis James stand up experience: Having your joggers called s*** and then introducing Chris McCausland. Get ready Albert Hall. Maybe the mojo does need to return.  Plus, the words reaping and sowing once again come to mind, as Buckinghamshire’s most hub...