Divorce Is Not A Destination®

Does your past haunt you? Do you feel like things are chasing you? You can’t seem to get away from past mistakes. Old decisions. Poor choices. A bad job experience or an emotionally draining relationship. Have you considered the possibility that it’s YOU not knowing how to let go of the past? Something dead may live in your head because you keep breathing life into it. I’m breakup and divorce coac...

The internet has made finding an ex and rekindling an old flame easier than ever. In this episode, I share some things to consider if you’re considering going back to your ex. I’m breakup and divorce coach, Dr. Lisa Summerour; I have discussions designed to empower you to live your life your way. I’m here to see you thrive on your journey to joy because we know Divorce is Not a Destination. A...

No one gets married with the expectation of dealing with divorce. Divorce ranks as one of the most stressful situations anyone can go through, right behind the death of a spouse. It’s no surprise that dealing with a divorce is no small matter. It requires patience and stamina, and there are no shortcuts. But that doesn’t mean that getting over a divorce has to take decades. You have some say in ho...

Recently, I enjoyed a lovely time at a winery, having mini-tacos, a margarita, overlooking a vineyard, and listening to salsa music.  It was my date night with me. One of the comments read,  “I pray to God, I never get to a state in life where I’m taking myself on dates. “  So, in this episode, whether you’re single or partnered up, I share the benefits of taking yourself on da...

From PageSix and the Washington Post to NBC news, people continue to write, read, and discuss the text messages shared between surfer Sarah Brady and her ex, actor Jonah Hill. In this episode, I’m dissecting the text messages and looking at boundaries. What are boundaries? Who do we set them for? What do they look like, and what to do when your boundaries are not being honored?  I’m brea...

Part 4 of 4 Part Series Whether you are dealing with someone diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder or someone with a boatload of narcissistic personality traits, recovering from that relationship can be difficult. It could take months or years to regain your confidence and self-esteem and grow to a place where you learn to trust your ability to take charge of your life. It is possible,...

Part 3 of 4 Part Series on Narcissism  S3/Ep 5 Part 3 of 4 Part Series on Narcissism  S3 / Ep 5  If you thought narcissists only target people who are weak and vulnerable because they would be easier to manipulate . . . you might be surprised to learn – that’s not true. Narcissists may be more likely to look for confident, successful, attractive, and strong-willed people. Find out w...

Part 2 of 4 Part Series on Narcissism/ Season 3 - Ep 4 As we discussed last week, when people talk about narcissism, they are often referring to the personality trait not the disorder. Within the personality disorder researchers and experts typically navigate around five types of narcissism. In this episode I share information about 5 narcissism types. I work with people, so they regain clari...

June 29, 2023, S3/Ep3 Series 1 of 4 Narcissism. Is it the latest buzzword in relationship woes? Not if you’re living with someone who has the disorder. In that case, it may feel like you’re living in a haunted house of mirrors. In this 4 Part series on Narcissism, we begin Part 1 discussing the difference between someone with narcissistic personality traits versus someone diagnosed with a narcissi...

Whether it is a short-term casual relationship, a long-term serious relationship, or a marriage gone awry, the breakup might have been more challenging than you anticipated. You could even be going through a split right now. If so, this episode is full of tips to help you move on after your breakup. I’m Dr. Lisa Summerour. I’m here to help you design strategies to live your life; your way here on...

There are many ways your significant other can demonstrate support. We’re kicking off season three, discussing what support might look like and what you can do when you’re not getting it. Whether you’re going through a breakup or trying to avoid one - I’m Dr. Lisa Summerour. I’m here to help you design strategies to live your life; your way here on Divorce is Not a Destination™. Recorded Live on J...

We’ve made it to week 4 of my series on Attachment Styles. In this episode, I discussed the attachment theory, described as being a combination of both anxious and avoidant Attachment. It’s known as  “Fearful” or “Disorganized” attachment theory.  While it does represent the smallest segment of the population, it is often the most challenging attachment style or theory to addre...

This is week three of my four-week series on Attachment Styles and things get more interesting as we review what it’s like to be with someone who is extremely independent and self-directed. That kinda sounds good, right? You decide. A person with Avoidant Attachment Style tendencies is also often uncomfortable with intimacy. They are afraid of commitment and very good at rationalizing avoiding int...

Anxious attachment types will often seem nervous or stressed about their relationship. If you’ve ever been with someone who needs constant reassurance and a lot of affection, you might have been dealing with someone with anxious attachment style. Or, if you have a tendency to end up in unhealthy even abusive relationships, and you struggle with trusting people – this could be your dominant attachm...

Psychologists use Attachment Theory to describe the emotional attachment between humans. For the next four weeks, I will be looking at attachment styles in detail. In this episode, we discuss the Secure Attachment Style. I’m breakup divorce & beyond coach  Dr. Lisa Summerour and I’m here to remind you that this is your life. Your journey. Divorce is not a destination. Original airdat...

The breakup or divorce has happened and you’re back to being single. Remember, this is where you started so it’s not a completely foreign state. In this episode I share why taking some time out for yourself might make more sense than jumping into  new relationship. take advantage of this alone time to learn from your past and leverage it for personal growth. Your breakup or divorce could...

It’s been reported that the divorce of Jeff and McKenzie Bezos cost $38 Billion. Online sites list fees for an uncontested divorce as low as $159, but the average cost of a divorce in the United States is approximately $17,500. If you are on the brink of a divorce, now is a good time to get your financial house in order.  In this episode, I share how planning for what your finances will...

It’s not uncommon for people to take two years to move through the grieving process after a divorce. Even individuals who are happy about getting divorced, have an adjustment period that could be, at best, unpredictable emotionally. What if you could use grace to overcome the divorce process?  What if you could learn to embrace where you are in your life, even in the midst of the divorce. &nb...

I don’t know of anyone who, as a child, fantasized about what they would wear to their divorce. I feel safe in saying, no one enters into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce. Still, divorce is a reality that many couples face. And the divorce rate is getting higher… Not just in the United States. In this episode, I’ll share the countries with the highest and lowest divorce rates. Then, I’ll...

Perhaps you’ve spent years creating the family you dreamed about; maybe your marriage was still in the honeymoon phase, either way it's now falling apart. The hurt is deep and your friends may not understand the pain you're going through. With divorce comes a feeling of grief, despair, and fear about your future. Your marriage may be over, but your new life is just beginning. You can pick up the p...

There is value in reviewing the previous year, the end of a marriage, relationship, or job when you do it with clarity, honesty, and acceptance. Get clear about what happened. Be honest about your role in what happened. Accept that it is the past, and while you cannot change the past, there are two things you can do: Learn from it and celebrate it!  In this episode we look back at 2022 using...

Personal boundaries are important for several reasons. If you’ve been through a divorce, you may realize that your ability to set personal boundaries could use some work. Boundaries serve as barriers to protect your self-esteem. They are also tools for establishing limits with others and communicating that you won’t tolerate certain behaviors. Those without personal boundaries commonly end up in l...

Do you sometimes feel like you’re just going through the motions? You get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, watch television, and go to bed. The next day, the routine starts all over again. I this episode of Divorce is Not a Destination; I share how living consciously is about regaining control over your life. Instead of doing things on automatic pilot, think about what you want to do a...

If you’ve gone through or are going through a divorce, feeling sorry, sad, or disappointed over something you did or didn’t do, could leave you experiencing regret. R egret can weigh you down and become such a focus in your life that you’re unable to identify the many accomplishments you’ve achieved.  If it were up to us, we’d all live regret-free lives, but there may be times when it’s unavo...

Going through a difficult time like divorce can leave you feeling like you DESERVE immediate gratification. In this episode, I urge you to RESIST the temptation Learning to delay gratification can make you happier and more successful professionally and personally . Self-discipline can yield great results! Throughout your life, you're likely to spend a lot of your time waiting, so you might as well...