Citizen Kane VS

Submarine week everyone! Get out your novelty pleasure craft and hit the high seas with your novelty torpedoes and depth charges. If you're looking for hot sonar action, then look no further than this week's episode. We've got Soviets, we've got CIA agents, we've got Rob Schneider whether you like it or not. Dive in!

You'll get a Helluva Kick out of this week's episode, until you get a People's Elbow right in the feelings. Admittedly, one film is a bit of a Superman Punch to the nads, but the other can release the Figure Four Leglock you'll be trapped in. So give the play button a Clothesline From Hell for this ep, and every episode until you meet your Tombstone. It's wrestling moves, it's all wrestling moves,...

Ever wonder which is more lifelike, puppets in the 80s or live actors in 2010s? Well today you get your answer. If you watched television in the late 80s through the 90s then you have no reason not to press play. This is your childhood. It demands tribute. 

Money isn't everything. Unless you're hired to be in a star studded, madcap, hidden treasure race movie, in which case your agent probably is asking for at least a couple mil. Must be nice. SEE the long paceless shots! HEAR all the yelling you can put up with and more! FEEL fortunate that Rowan Atkinson has blessed our lives with his comedy! Enjoy!

Love him or hate him, Adam Sandler has shaped comedy for an entire generation with his films. That's why we giggle at poop jokes so often on the pod. Dive into the birth of the Happy Madison production company, then dive into what should have been its death. Someday I'm sure they'll write a part for a woman, and on that day, we'll come back to Mr. Sandler and his films. SO WATCH THIS SPACE! . . ....

Rob Feetham joins us once again to give us the true meaning of schlock! Two true meditations on the power of atomic fusion and the dangers therein, and probably two examples of why actors needed to unionize. Hear Sean struggle to say words! See Jack be a host! Taste Daniel's recipe for crab's legs! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!

In this week's episode we discover that none of us are qualified to discuss anything related to feminism, yet we boldly go there anyways! Dive into one of the most charming movies hollywood has ever produced, and also another movie that also was made and has charm depending on who you talk to. New segments include: Marisa's Feminism Corner and Aren't Woke Men Great?!

Tatum 22:1 - 34 "For lo, upon those who beholdeth his acting will come down a terrible fright, and from forth this fright shall emerge the desire the leaveth the theatre for the bathroom." Too true, too true. On this most holy weekend we welcome you to a very special "Where's Jesus?" episode of Citizen Kane Vs. Please remember to leave a token of your respect in the collection plate.

Welcome to this week's episode, where we may have met our match! To the left you might be able to see oscar baiting in it's natural habitat, and to the right you can see Mr. Cruise testing out his abusive yelling decades before he used it on film crews. Enjoy!

A long galaxy away in a time far far ago, mankind dreamed of going to space. And here we are now, talking about movies that take place in space. Take notes for when next you find yourself trekking or warring into that final frontier. Adam Reid joins us to explain just who the hell Syfo-Dias is.

Do you like poop jokes? Do you like dirty sex jokes? Do you like subversive racial commentary within a satirical Western framework?! Then run don't walk to this episode and get some. Mel . . .hook us up with Cary.

The bright lights, the dry air, the free drinks. Vegas. Where else is the American Dream bigger or better? Enter a pauper and leave a king. Or lose everything and continue the cycle of perpetual wage servitude . . . VEGAS BABY! Erin Maxfield joins us to explain why she's now seen one of these films THREE TIMES.

Sonny Liston called Muhammad Ali a "Million Dollar Baby" leading up to their heavyweight bout in an attempt to paint Ali as a nothing underdog, Ali would go on to win that fight. This week on the pod we compare heavyweight champion Million Dollar Baby and all of its mumblemouthed acting with heavyweight everyman Kevin James and his UFC ad/film Here Comes the Boom, and similar underdog tones start...

Who doesn't love film adaptations of table top roleplaying adventures? Turns out most people. Who woulda thought the most interesting visual effect of your $45 million project would be a tub filled with oatmeal made to look like a carpet. More riveting commentary like this if you just click play!!!!!! 

On this, the day after international love day, we bring you an episode with as much heart as possible. One heart can split and bring its love a strength to those it touches, and the other is 3 hours long. Honestly might be one of the most romantic weeks we've ever done, what with Mel and Murron and then Dennis Quaid and Sean Connery. HOT. Special guest Brendan Green joins us with his film picks to...

What's funnier than a homeless boy befriending a vagabond hockey playing/skateboarding chimpanzee? Daniel having to sit through it. What's funnier than humanity's gradual destruction of nature and it's perfect balance? Nothing. That shit's not funny. This week, we sit down with Dr. Jane Goodall to discuss apes and their acting capabilities. (Note: Dr. Jane Goodall will be played by Jack Rennie, Se...

Did you want to watch a goat give a man the peanut butter treatment? Did you want to watch Ron Jeremy exist? We sure didn't, but hey we did it for YOU! That's the dedication, the art, the craftsmanship that you can only get from OUR dissection of these two . . . films that were made by people that got pay cheques. Hollyweird, amirite?

Welcome to Season 2! "Wait they had a season 1?" is what you might be asking, and to that we say "what even is a season. man?" Well for us it means watching two movies that strike eerily at the condition of humanity in the past, present, and future . . . don't worry it's funny.

How do you say goodbye to the year that just won't quit? By watching two movies with the same mantra. Think of the lives that could have been saved if the millions of dollars invested in one of these films had instead gone to funding a socialized healthcare system or something like that? Oh well, Ashton needs a new car. Happy New Year everyone!! See you in 2021 for season 2!

All the guttural moans and grunts of one man's career packed into a single episode, gift wrapped, and placed in your stocking ready for Christmas Morning. You're welcome. Tim Allen may not be the best of us, but he's the Tim Allen we deserve and you'll like it. May your pagan solstice rituals be filled with joy, Happy Saturnalia everyone!

Cars go vroom. Cars go vroom fast. Cars go boom. Actors make sad faces. All this and more in a high octane, need for speed, thrill a moment episode! Will the actors continue to make sad faces? Do the cars indeed go vroom and boom some more? Listen and find out!

What could be said about Marlon Brando? A lot. By a lot of people. And probably 98% of it is not a glowing review if you know what I mean . . . but at least he didn't accept that Oscar that one time right? Dive into the magic, the miracle, the ever expanding glory that is . . .Marles Bedarles.

What's in a face? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell. Unless it's a cratered hole in your face . . . which is something we saw a couple times this week.  Also putting flesh on something is equally as disgusting as peeling it off. We're joined by Andrew Cameron who teaches us how you can love something while hating it.

What are some similarities between Greek Gods and greasy capitalists? For one, nobody asked for them, they just kind of happened. They constantly do idiotic things just to screw with the common people. Both think they are high and mighty and cannot be touched . . .and both inevitably feel the sting of their own hubris as their world falls apart. Except that doesn't always happen to the greasy capi...

Nazis hiding everywhere! It's pretty sad that that's a true statement, but these films take that scenario to a new level. Someone needs to sit down with Finland and check in on how they're doing, because Iron Sky is not healthy. The Boys From Brazil is not healthy either, but it was the late 70s and drugs were a thing. Anywhozlebee, make sure you all scrape your shoes off before entering your home...