Caleb Can't Read

Send us Fan Mail You were there for the best, now get ready for the worst!  After Bram Stoker's middling success with what would later become his masterpiece, he would go on to sully his career with possibly the worst Horror novel ever created.  With this unfortunate blight on his career being the last thing he'd ever do, he would regrettably never see "Dracula" go on to become...

Send us Fan Mail Bwa ha ha or however you yourself would write a vampire laugh, it's October!  And whaddya know, we have a Horror author!  Join us as we go through the early life of Bram Stoker, including his early work in temperance novels, his managerial duties with a piece-of-shit actor, and of course-- his masterpiece-- "Dracula"!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Pedophilia, Rape; Raise a glass and hide your kids, this poet is known for two things specifically: his drunken poetry (cleverly called "wine poetry"), and the other thing... well... yeah, it's all there in the trigger warnings.  Anyway, come with us as we discuss the works of perhaps the most antiquated we've ever covered-- but certainly not the most probl...

Send us Fan Mail Sacrebleu!  Join us as we go through the remainder of Jules Verne's life, including some of the most notable works from his twilight years, as well as his ever-straining relationship with his son, a failed assassination attempt from his nephew, and our general thoughts on Jackie Chan.  Hon hon!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Alabama You ever wonder why that weird couple wears top hats and corsets with gears on 'em?  Well put on your weird goggles you got from Etsy and strap yourself in to some sort of noun-powered rocket, as we explore such stories as "Journey to the Centre of the Earth", "From the Earth to the Moon, & "Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea"!  Yes...

Send us Fan Mail TW: Abuse, Dead kids, Suicide, Torture Ah, yes.  Here on this wonderful 4th of July weekend, as we celebrate the country's 250th birthday, Nicole and I are here to remind you-- in case you didn't know-- that America was not always such an uncontroversial place.  Indeed, there was even a time that our nation could've been called inept, backwards, and our leadership s...

Send us Fan Mail When you think of Lord Tennyson, I'm sure you think of knights errant, beautiful prose, and perhaps the smell of eraser dust as you erase things over and over again and tears well up in your eyes while your teacher stands behind you and refuses to elaborate on what they mean when they say, "No, write it PROPER."  But it may be better to think on Lord Tennyson with m...

Send us Fan Mail TW: Child abuse; Welcome back!  To Caleb Can't Read!  Join us today as we go over the story of a VERY sexually repressed man.  A man so repressed that he probably shouldn't be writing children's stories.  But just as cockchafers couldn't stop Hans, you can't stop us from discussing his most famous stories, such as "The Princess and the Pea", &quo...

Send us Fan Mail TW: Dead kids; We're finally here, to the ending legacy of Lord Byron!  Fraught with love affairs, well-meaning missions, and neglected children-- Lord Byron is truly one of the biggest piles of shit we've covered on this show.  And that's saying something.  Join us as we follow our club-footed companion through his dangerous affairs in Italy... and his untimely dea...

Send us Fan Mail TW: Incest, Pedophilia, Rape, Suicide;   Well I'm sure you can tell from the trigger warnings, but the second part of our three-part series on Lord Byron has arrived!  Find what happens when a man with questionable morals gets a shitload of cash and spends even more on credit, all while gaining a steady amount of fame for his epic work, "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage&q...

Send us Fan Mail TW: Child Abuse, Dead Kids, Incest, Pedophilia, Rape, Torture; Welcome!  To Caleb Can't Read Season 7!  This time we're coming in with a bang-- with our cousins!  Join us in our three-part series about how such a bastard comes to be as infamous-- and yet still somehow so loved-- as King of the Fuccbois, Lord Byron!

Send us Fan Mail For our special 11th author on this season finale, we are looking at the short history of Richard Connell, the author of one of horror's most influential (for better or worse) stories, "The Most Dangerous Game"!

Send us Fan Mail You ever go a little too far with your good intentions?  John did.  And hoo boy is it a doozy.  Come cringe with us as we discuss the man who lived undercover in the Deep South in the worst way possible and his resulting novel, "Black Like Me", John Howard Griffin!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Dead kids; Been a while since we talked about lynchings, shootings, and the misjustices of America, hasn't it?  Well wake up and give your kids a shot of whiskey, 'cause today we're covering one of the oldest authors to ever publish a book, the old and ever-delightful George Dawson!

Send us Fan Mail Welcome!  To Nicole Can't Leave!  Join us as we go over the life of poetry's most closeted man, and voted Most Likely to Smell Like Used Motor Oil in his high school yearbook: the author of the infamous "Leaves of Grass", Walt Whitman!

Send us Fan Mail I'll reiterate it here in case you don't have the time, but basically Caleb will be taking several short hiatuses between authors 'cause he's such a busy guy.  And while yes, this is technically the definition of slowing down, the podcast ain't goin' anywhere.  We have several, SEVERAL subjects to get through, and if we wait 'til Caleb's goo...

Send us Fan Mail ooOOOOoowe're here to tell you frightening tales-- like those of manipulative husbands, bad adaptations, and mixing your prescriptions!  We're also here to talk about the woman who has largely been considered the Queen of Horror, Shirley Jackson!  Join us as we go over her long career, her fight with critics, and some of her most famous works!

Send us Fan Mail Damn, who's that guy over there in the corner?  Oh man, you say he's a doctor?  And a writer?  And in trouble with the Spanish government?  And he bangs all the high-class ladies?  And he-- oh.  Oh, he says the alcohol wasn't free.  Oh, he's making me pay for his meal.  Ah.  Well then, this could only be the conclusion to the most illustrious Jose Rizal!

Send us Fan Mail This poor dude might've actually done less damage had he just been left the hell alone.  Sure they say the pen is mightier than the sword, but Jose Rizal seemed content to let sleeping Spaniards lie once he found out how much trouble he was in.  Unfortunately, the people around him would force his environments to change, and his life to be forever altered.  Join us as we delv...

Send us Fan Mail Sometimes you gotta be the change you wanna see in the world.  And sometimes, you gotta piss off a whole lot of people to do it.  Join us as we talk about the early life of the Philippines' foremost national hero, Jose Rizal, as well as his terrible finances, his bad housemate manners, and which side of his pants he hung his hog.  Salamat!

Send us Fan Mail Hey kids, you wanna get mad about the shitty injustices of the world?  You wanna hear the story of a brilliant poet whose life had to end because of how he was born?  Wanna hear our perfect pronunciations of Spanish words?  Then join us this episode as we delve into the short, sporadic life of one of Spain's most famous poets, Federico Garcia Lorca!

Send us Fan Mail TW: Torture; You ever have your boss ask you to make a manual of your process at work but really you know they're just trying to understand what the fuck it is you do?  While we may not know the story behind the author to a great extent, we fully understand the purpose of his work.  Unfortunately a little too well.  Join us as we delve into "The Art of War", and its...

Send us Fan Mail TW: Abuse; While I wouldn't call this our happiest episode, the story of Nadia Anjuman needs to be told.  Her work is criminally underrepresented in the West, and we can only hope that as her message is spread, so too are her poems.

Send us Fan Mail TW: Dead kids, Suicide; When a guy like Percy comes along, history seems to revolve around them.  Not in like-- a way in which important events seem to crop up around them, but in the fact that we know every little detail about this douchebag's life.  If you like kidnapped children, terrible fathers, and boating accidents, boy do we have the guy for you!  Join us as we trudge...

Send us Fan Mail It's been two years since we last talked about our Terrible Trio: Mary, Percy, and the good ol' Lord Byron.  But today we continue the saga with "Mad Shelley", a poet who showed a penchant for explosives, electricity, and freaking out when it was most convenient.  Join us as we delve into his earliest works, and the incredible knack he had for pissing off every...