Awaken Engage

100 feathers in my cap. You may remember that when I hit 90, I conjectured that the only reason I might go for 100 consecutive days of writing, podcasting, and photo-essaying was for a metaphorical feather in my cap. Well, make it 100 feathers in my cap. I made it. It ended up mattering to me. 100. I just love it. 100 per cent of the days for the past 100 days, I have followed through with one of...

Each morning, I carve out time for a walk in the Boise foothills between morning routines with our kids and work. Over the past couple of years, I have walked these trails almost every day. It’s a ritual. And one I look forward to and bask in while performing it. Walking the same trails every day has given me a deep appreciation for the rhythms of nature - what plants grow and when; where the sun...

In Between Places The thing about bridges is that they are in between places. On a bridge, you’re not where you were, you’re not where you’re going, you’re not where you’re going to stay. You’re just in between places. You can burn one. You can build one. You can avoid one. You can cross one. You can even be one. The thing about bridges is that they are in between places. In between places aren’t...

She drinks to remember that she is not the job she is doing. That she is not just the job she is doing. Near the bottom of each bottle, she finds possibilities and promise. She drinks a little more to remember that it’s okay. And a bit more to remember that it will be okay. That the way it looks right now is not the way it really is or was or will be. A drink or three free her from the boundaries...

For much of my life, I’ve been one of the shiny things in most social situations. Classrooms, trainings, workplace environments, parties, teams. In all of these settings, I gain early acceptance, credibility, and position. It’s not something I have tried to do. It just happens. There have been a few exceptions, but even in those settings, I eventually find myself with a seat at the tables of influ...

There are evenings where finding words becomes a sort of adventure. Like when you get in your car and drive into the desert of the upper Great Basin until you can’t see a soul or a dwelling or a trace of civilization in any direction. You stop, get out, and start walking. Any direction will do. In no time, what looked like a barren landscape, what looked like the same thing for mile after mile, wh...

I find comfort in routine and consistency even if I also love spontaneity and following the winds of intuition. As I finish my teaching assignments before the summer break, I’m finding myself wanting to fill up the blank spaces and places in my days that for the past 9 months have been filled with vibrant interactions with groups of students in whom I delight and have grown to love. There’s a rath...

Some days it’s I’ve got it all together. Other days it’s more trying to hold onto and pick up what’s falling apart. Some days feel easy and clear. Other days feel uphill and cloudy. And it’s not just days. Some parts of days are this. Other parts of days are that. Some parts of days are calm and warm. Other parts of days are windy and cold. And it’s not just parts of days. Some times of days are t...

I seem to have entered this world with a strong bent for nostalgia. I don’t ever remember not feeling wooed by longings for the past, even feeling nostalgic about the present because it was heading into the past. Perhaps my natural propensity for feeling all the feels so intensely is why I struggled mightily to finish a great book or a great movie or a great series. I am notorious for watching 3/4...

Today, in the very early morning hours, in the place between, I couldn’t find a way to worry. Every time I tried, I was just here, now, breathing. And I couldn’t figure out how not to be. In fact, I tried to go over my uber-full schedule for the day and the coming days, I tried to think about the sadness of coming to the end of an incredible semester with another incredible group of students, I tr...

Here we are. Here I am. 90. 90 consecutive days of reflecting, writing, publishing, and podcasting. I began with a commitment of 30 days, then decided to go for 60, and then 90. I’ve never even written in my personal journal for 90 days in a row, let alone a published, public-facing composition and podcast, each accompanied by relevant and intentionally chosen photographs from my own collection. W...

I’ve committed to listening and reflecting and writing each day. Tonight, I find myself some where beyond the place where words can originate or return, some time before words begin. It is gentle and quiet in Here. And full. Full filled. Overflowing. There is gratitude here. Deep, deep and expansive gratitude. There is also sadness connected to the endings of classes and vibrant communities that h...

When I wake in the middle of the night and the veil is thin, my heart remembers what matters most and the rest of “it” becomes like vapor quickly and completely blowing away with the slightest breeze - even with no breeze. There is a sense of clarity that I imagine also comes when one faces their last moments and is immanently faced with the forced and total letting go of all they grasped that can...

Juicy Worms the quickest way to return Home is to wait for the next craving and instead of chasing the worm on that hook don’t take the bait let the craving be the reminder to wait to watch to feel to listen to sense to know what lies beneath the juicy worm: barbs lines draggings jerkings pullings away from Home the rewards of mindless abandonment to craving don’t wait until gaspings for air and a...

As a kid growing up on our farm, one of my favorite things to do was to find places of refuge from the wind and elements. Since it was windy almost all of the time where we lived, I had plenty of opportunities to enjoy this pastime. Our straw stacks next to the corrals were particularly well-suited since there were small spaces between the stacks you could crawl into and be completely protected. I...

A good friend is visiting and during our time in the pitch black darkness and heat of the sweat lodge tonight, we found our way to the topic of creating for the sake of creating - perhaps the topic found us. Our friend has spent a lifetime following his heart and finding a way to make a living at it. It hasn’t been easy. It has actually been crazy hard, quite complicated sometimes, and required sa...

The Space to Be What is needed? to feel seen to feel heard to feel connected to feel a sense of Be-long-ing the rest follows Yes rest follows and The Rest follows the space to Be to feel seen to feel heard to feel connected to feel a sense of Be-long-ing some call it unconditional love and welcoming acceptance the sense of Be-ing h e l d in intense p r e s e n c e to feel seen to feel heard to fee...

Passing Through What Is Still That which comes goes That which arises falls away Passing through what is still Give it 30 seconds of undivided attention Let thoughts come and go And watch And feel And acknowledge it as it is And accept it as it is And watch and feel some more Let go of labels Let them come And let them go That which comes goes That which arises falls away Passing through what is s...

Raising Us they say we raise our children but i say we raise each other and that many times like today it feels to me like our children are raising us to higher levels greater good deeper love wiser action some backstory yesterday evening we were eating ice cream on the stoop and a text comes in and she says yes to her first job and promptly has to figure out how much do i charge? as much as i can...

Clutter where I grew up skies are big the foreground is small the horizons are vast and the only times away from home that ever felt like this part of home were the many times looking west into the ocean while leaning against the end rails of Pacific piers and thanking God that there was nothing to see but seeing every once in awhile even where i now live i leave the valley and find my way south a...

Just Let Go pre-dawn stars grow dimmer darkness fades now deep blue fades into the soft glow coming coming coming peeks out first between the nook of Aldape Summit - little summit - between two other summits diminuitive yet chosen today to be the place where rising sun casts light into valley onto valley in a widening V south sides of the mountains left behind in shadows for now meadowlarks and st...

Outside In from outside in and across the way light finds a place i hadn’t seen now seeing from inside out the same light casts shadows onto spaces and places that go unnoticed on a usual morning walk through this room only noticed this morning as the light drew my eyes into focus afforded only by the darkness surrounding it i hear, “what would it be if all were the same?” how exquisite the subjec...

Counting your branches were bare just two days ago i suppose there were signs of life and i knew it was about that time but i couldn’t see just how close you were to shading my walk and hiding places of chirping and squirreling around perhaps it’s strange that i took the time to count the number of months that you will live in seeming fulness before you drop these greens that delight my heart six,...

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I’m excited about this one. But, first, some backstory. My recovery from the brain injuries has been, among other things, a journey of restoring a healthy relationship with my nervous system which for many years was highly dysregulated and on constant alert for danger. The healing process for the brain injuries had much in common and took place, at times, alongside the remnants...

There were quite a few years of my life after the concussions that I didn’t show up much for life. At least, I didn’t show up for the parts of life that I had always shown up for. It was perhaps the hardest part of the “old” life to let go of. In many ways, it felt like I was disappearing. Once I began to stabilize and regain a less dysfunctional brain, there was a lot of disappointment around not...