A Thousand Tiny Steps

It's crazy to think about how many people I've connected with and I'll never meet them. How many times I'll stand in a subway, wonder if I knew a person from school, and never find out. Because life doesn't always give us answers, but it always gives us choices. Which ones are right and wrong? Well, I'll be here with you as I find out.  Key Takeaways:    [1:23] Is it about the destination or the j...

I have a lot of anxiety and resentment present in me right now and in my never ending quest to understand how I got here, I turned to something truly holy: memes. They led me where I didn't expect, which was down a path of contemplation of what karma really means and how what I can get done in 15 minutes changes by the day. Key Takeaways:    [0:39] Having a lot of anxiety right now  [2:41] Toxic p...

As usual on nights I can't sleep I turned on the TV and into the most amazing series on a woman's children who are kidnapped by the father and the tension that ensues. It made me think about what a family is, how that defines us, the societal rules around it, and what role domestic violence leaves people.  Key Takeaways:    [0:49] The show: No One Saw Us Leave is amazing! [2:30] The patriarchy in...

I finally found the term that describes me: Generation Jones. Not a Baby Boomer, but not quite Gen X either. The in-between that's sandwiched between two generations and as I talked with my friends I realized many of them felt the same way.  Key Takeaways:    [0:30] So I'm technically a boomer - but I'm not [3:01] I'm a generation Jones [4:35] Biggest difference between baby boomers and gen jones ...

One Boomer. One Gen Z. Who will prevail? In this battle of wits both generations hash out what Riz means, how to use a landline, and if crop tops were truly a move forward in fashion. It's going to get groovy - with a little turbulence! So hold on to your seats, sit back, put your oxygen mask on first, and enjoy the episode.  Key Takeaways:    [2:02] How did you find info without the internet?  [3...

As my mother ages and new challenges arise, my life is becoming increasingly complex and overwhelming as I try to find a way forward that preserves my mother's dignity and my sanity. Part of me feels like there is a reason to charge forward with my work and the other part of me feels like giving up. Key Takeaways:    [1:31] The Netflix documentary Empty Rooms [5:58] My mother living with us has be...

As I am still battling the flu, running my household, spending most of my day sleeping, and binge watching TV shows I've had time to think. It's given me time to think about my mindset, where I live, what I'm doing next, and it's given me time to look over the wonderful guests I've had that continue to inspire me.  Key Takeaways:    [1:23] Binging Stranger Things and realizing the choices in front...

I feel directionless in life, I don't know what to choose next, and I need to figure things out. Because in Motherland? I have no other choice. I've been goal setting, problem solving, and trying to learn how to take care of myself in an effort to find a solution. But one thing keeps getting in the way. How do I mother others without someone mothering me? Key Takeaways:    [1:09] My TV interview a...

Gracie and I got together to talk about New Year's resolutions, Wicked, our favorite swear words, and how we've grown. From lessons on not comparing yourself to others to realizing setbacks can actually be an opportunity for growth, listen to us as we come up with the most creative curse words we can think of.     G is for the grumbling that I do.  R is for the resolutions, toodle-oo.  A is very,...

Grieving during the holidays sucks. I'll never "be over it" as some people like to say. I will grieve again and again for Molly. My grief has changed how we celebrate holidays, but at the same time having Jack is also changing how we celebrate. I don't know what's ahead, but no matter what my message is the same - celebrate the holidays how you want.    Key Takeaways:    [4:40] Not feeling excited...

The current school board is beginning to feel like… Regina Georgia's lunch table. It reminds me of previous years on the board, my relationship with Chris Rath, all the emails on my school account, and so many other mistakes I made. One thing's for sure: I need to learn to notice the change in the weather unless I want to sit with more regrets soon.    Key Takeaways:    [1:34] Wanting to keep thin...

If a clone of me was suddenly created and I interviewed myself here's what I'd say. Because trust me, I did not want to do another episode where I talk about the sadness of grieving during the holidays. So instead, enjoy as I talk about everything from what I'd tell myself at 18 to the name of my book - if my enemy wrote it.   Key Takeaways:    [4:23] What people misunderstand about me most  [5:30...

After my job loss, I was invited to do an interview which became the most popular one on our local radio show. A few days ago was the 40th year anniversary of a school shooting in Concord and I talked to one of the students who went through it. In this episode, I go on a trip down memory lane.    Key Takeaways:    [1:25] I don't feel like I've made a lot of progress  [2:12] 40 years ago there was...

This week, I'm throwing away toxic gratitude and playing Would You Rather because we all need some fun in our lives. I contemplate knowing when vs knowing how I would die, someone seeing all of my photos or all of my texts, and so many other ponderings.    Key Takeaways:    [0:28] Throwing away toxic gratitude and playing would you rather  [3:17] See a little into the future or a lot?  [3:53] The...

Emerging and changing my ways one tiny step at a time is not easy. Between school board, my living situation, my neighbor dying and my desire to keep things the same, but also change can feel like climbing an uphill battle.    Key Takeaways:    [0:28] We're supposed to be grateful in November, but I don't want to be  [2:35] What emergence means in my life  [7:37] Feeling ignored and not liked on s...

I was fired from my coaching job, dealt with an inappropriate dad, an emotionally unstable teenager, and people that shot me nasty looks. All while having an unsupportive administrative staff that didn't have my back. This is the story of the ups and downs of my coaching job at Bow.   Key Takeaways:    [3:21] Being hired at Bow High School as a coach  [5:55] The new athletic director hated me  [9:...

I looked back on the two friends I've lost since I recorded this episode and the ones I've kept. In this episode, I thought about the people I surrounded myself with, what that meant, and the wonderful support I receive. It's interesting to look back and see the toxic people I spent time with and how much my life has changed since then.    Key Takeaways:    [0:00] Getting sucked into a cycle of mi...

I've lost count of how many restraining orders have been in my life from either me having to file them, helping others file them, or having them filed against me. At some point it just feels like a circus and an abuse of the system. In this episode, I break down the history of them in my life and question if they really help people.    Key Takeaways:    [0:00] Does a restraining order actually do...

Science Guy was my high school biology teacher who I lost my virginity to. He died a couple of months ago and I only found out a few weeks ago. I'm grieving for him and many people have an opinion on that. But two things can be true: I can realize the good moments we had together and also realize it was inappropriate.    Key Takeaways:    [0:00] Being sexually abused as a child and being told to b...

I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below.    Key Takeaways:    [2:45] My mom...

My sophomore year was full of ups and downs. I went into the year not knowing where to sit at lunch, and unsure of myself. I ended up going to Germany, quitting gymnastics, joining the cheer team, and becoming a track star. As all these amazing things happened, I spent more time with my teacher, science guy, which quickly became something more.  Key Takeaways:   [8:30] Going to gymnastics camp aga...

As I Mother both my mom and my children at the same time, it made me contemplate what a mother is, all the things I take on, and how that impacts me. It made me think about growing up and how parenting is seen so differently these days. In this episode, I explore how my life has impacted my parenting.    Key Takeaways:   [0:39] The mental load that mothers have to take on and what it means to be o...

 As a result of trauma, boundaries have been a lifelong struggle for me. From my friendship with Robin, my friendship with Steph, and my job loss at Bow boundary crossing has followed me. I explore these 3 events in my life and how trauma has affected them. In this episode, not only do I share my journey with trauma, but also what I have begun to learn about my behavior.   Key Takeaways:    [1:15]...

The universe keeps sending me the same message: slow down, Barb! Doing six different things at once and expecting something to change is not working. So we're still here three years later contemplating self sabotage through old blog posts I've written.   Key Takeaways:   [1:35] Being indecisive, procrastinating, and a whole lot of anger [4:27] Tis the season for Spillin' The Tea [6:54] Only seeing...

I really, really struggle with self sabotage in every aspect of my life. From relationships, to not following through on things, to recreating trauma. It is an endless battle. I am working to better myself by being introspective and examining why I constantly sabotage myself and what I can do to work on it.    Key Takeaways:   [1:35] Self sabotage and regret in my life  [4:09] Physical and emotion...