A Few Thoughts About...

There’s a strange little voice in our heads that always seems to be saying, “Not yet.” Not until we lose the weight. Not until we make more money. Not until the relationship improves. Not until we’re less anxious, more confident, or finally have everything figured out. There’s always something else that would make life just a little bit better. But what if there isn’t? In this episode, I explore o...

We like to think we look at the evidence and then decide what to believe. But what if it often works the other way around? In this episode, we’ll explore confirmation bias—our tendency to notice, remember, and interpret information in ways that support what we already believe—and how it can shape our experience of change. We’ll look at why a single difficult moment can feel like proof that we’re f...

n this episode, I explore the strange paradox of control: in order to control an experience, we have to keep paying attention to it. We monitor the anxiety, check whether the urge is gone, try not to think the thought, and continually ask ourselves whether we feel better yet. And suddenly the thing we’re trying to get away from is sitting right in the center of our experience. We’ll look at why co...

If you’ve spent years drinking when you said you wouldn’t - or repeatedly trying to make a change and struggling to follow through - it can be easy to conclude that you simply can’t trust yourself anymore. But maybe we’ve been asking trust to mean something it can’t. In this episode, I explore the difference between trusting yourself and certainty, why past failures don’t necessarily make us untru...

We spend a lot of time waiting to feel certain. Certain that we’re making the right decision. Certain that something will work. Certain that we won’t regret it. Certain that we’re ready. But what if the certainty we’re waiting for isn’t actually available yet? In this episode, I explore why we crave certainty before taking action, why feeling certain isn’t the same thing as actually knowing, and t...

What if you don’t have to figure everything out right now? When we’re stuck, our instinct is often to think harder. We analyze the problem, replay it, argue with it, and search for the thought that will finally make everything okay. But some of our best insights seem to arrive when we stop looking for them. In this episode, I explore the idea of thought as a river—constantly moving, with something...

There are almost endless ways we could improve ourselves. We could exercise more, eat better, become more productive, be more patient, meditate, stop procrastinating, quit drinking, get organized - the list never really ends. But what happens when self-improvement quietly becomes self-rejection? In this episode, I explore the assumption hiding underneath a lot of our attempts to change: that the p...

What if the problem that feels enormous right now looks completely different tomorrow morning? In this episode, I explore how our physical and mental states shape the way we experience our lives. Being tired, hungry, stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, rested, or calm doesn’t just change how we feel—it can change what seems true. We look at why it rarely feels like our state has changed; it feels like...

What if your emotions aren’t getting in the way? What if they’re actually trying to tell you something? In this episode, I explore the idea that our emotions function like an onboard guidance system—a dashboard that’s constantly giving us information about what’s happening in our experience. The trouble is, we often mistake the warning light for the problem. Anxiety shows up and we try to make it...

We talk about change as though we’re building a new person—the person we’re finally going to become once we get everything figured out. But is that actually how becoming works? In this episode, I explore the difference between choosing a direction for our lives and trying to manufacture some imaginary future version of ourselves. We look at how much of who we are today emerged through experiences...

Why does change so often feel uncomfortable? In this episode, we’ll explore the idea that friction isn’t always a sign something is wrong - it may simply be what growth feels like. Sometimes the resistance we’re experiencing isn’t standing in the way of change; it’s part of how change happens. LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and...

We spend a surprising amount of our lives focused on the distance between where we are and where we think we should be. In this episode, we’ll explore how that “gap” can quietly create frustration, shame, and impatience—and why noticing it might be the first step toward appreciating the progress you’ve already made. Sometimes the biggest shift isn’t closing the gap, but changing the way you see it...

Last episode we talked about the noise, now it’s time to talk about the signal. Its gets hidden in the noise, but it is always available and we’ll talk about how to find it. LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love to hear from you! If you have thoug...

Our lives are so full of noisy thinking - and that noise can be incredibly distracting. Let’s talk about that noise, how it creates urgency, and what we can do about it LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts o...

“Just let it go” - we’ve all been told that (by others or ourselves), but what does that actually mean? Letting go isn’t something we do through force - it’s something that happens when we let up on ourselves. LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love...

No matter where we are in the process of change, we always have a choice: a choice to take that next small step or a choice to move in a big way. Choice is always available! LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love to hear from you! If you have thoug...

Thoughts float through our minds like clouds overhead. But what do you do when it rains? In today’s episode I unpack this idea, and give you a new way of thinking about thought you don’t want to experience. LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love to...

The reality is that we can’t “force” ourselves into anything - it’s only when our thinking changes that our world changes. That’s what this episode is about: when we open up to change instead of trying to force it, when we let go of “making it happen” and let it happen, things shift. LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up he...

Data points (drinking when you don’t want to) are often feared, like they are some sort of event that means something terrible about us. But that is, without question, totally untrue. Listen to this episode as I explain what they are, why I don’t call them relapses, and why they are guiding light that shows you how to move forward! LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coa...

I help people change. It’s what I do - and I want to share with you what I’ve learned about change. For this first installment: change happens on the inside, not the outside. Check it out! LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love to hear from you! If...

What’s the one thing that everyone who has ever quit drinking has done? They kept going! In this episode I talk about keeping going - why it’s hard, why it’s important, and how you can do it yourself. LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love to hear...

We all do it: a thought pops up in our head and then we hyper focus on it. Maybe it’s a stressful situation or an issue with a relationship - a thought about it comes into our mind and then we spend a TON of time fixing it. Even though it’s just something in our minds. In this episode I talk about the river of thought that flows through our mind, and how pulling out the dam (aka not hyper focusing...

When was the last time you consciously stepped back to take a breath? Chances are it’s been a while - and this episode is your reminder to do it! LINKS Join me, Sam Goldfinch, and Ellie Crowe for FREE monthly coaching calls! You can find out more and sign up here: forms.gle/FCYKSSzpcb81RuV39 (and yes, it’s totally free!) I always love to hear from you! If you have thoughts on this episode, or if y...

We’re finally here - it’s time to talk about having the conversation! In this episode I talk about how to talk to someone about drinking. What works, what doesn’t, and what you can do to make the conversation something that helps both of you. (If you haven’t yet, please listen to episodes 1-3 of this series so you are fully up on what I’m talking about!) LINKS I am always happy to hear from suppor...

We’ve set it up: you understand the problem better, you now know what the most important part of being a support person is, so now let’s talk big ideas about HOW to actually do it! in this episode I talk about guiding principles on how we can show up and make change happen. LINKS I am always happy to hear from support people! If you want to ask a question, just reach out, or if you;d like to set u...