You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries are understandably complicated. But, what if you could start making changes by setting some with yourself? In this episode you'll learn: Boundaries with yourself: what they are, and why knowing your limits comes before anything you communicate to your parent Why the urge to expla...

You've known for months exactly what boundary you need to set. And every time you sit down to do it, something in your body says absolutely not, and you tell yourself you'll deal with it later. If you grew up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or narcissistic traits, you learned early on that reading the room kept you safe and while expressing your emotions was...

A quick update first- I'm shifting into a more sustainable rhythm for the podcast this fall, then I get into part two of my story. I talk about growing up with a Jekyll and Hyde mom, what that taught me, and how my understanding of what was actually going on with her has changed over the years. I talk about how if I could stumble through my own healing as clumsily as I have and still end up w...

A quick update on the podcast and when the next episode will drop. Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

>>>Grab my new guide, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent: confidentboundaries.com/the-guide This week I'm sharing more about me: who I am, why I do the work that I do, and what led me to start this podcast. In this episode you'll learn: About my clinical background and how that led to me working almost entirely with adults...

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, apologies often function as a way to end the conversation, avoid accountability, or label you as the problem. And like many aspects of these types of family dynamics, apologies can be confusing and leave you replaying the conversation, wondering if you're being unreasonable by not fully acc...

Coping skills and even CBT are getting demonized as shallow fixes that ignore trauma. But they play an important part in healing from the trauma of growing up with a parent who has narcissistic personality disorder or unmanaged borderline personality disorder. And it's why so many cycle breakers end up skipping the tools that would actually help them get through hard moments of their healing,...

Growing up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or strong narcissistic traits means growing up in chaos. Gaslighting makes you question your reality, walking on eggshells keeps your nervous system on high alert, leaving you feeling crazy in a family that insists everything is fine. In this episode you'll learn: How clarity about what's really happening in your fam...

Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

When you were raised by a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace and managing your parent's moods is the "kind" thing to do. Your family conflates kindness with you taking on the job of regulating your parent's emotions, and now every boundary you try to set can feel like a moral failure instead...

You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere.  And...

Too many cycle breakers know that moment when your phone lights up with the latest family emergency and you drop everything to try to calm the storm. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace is what keeps you safe. So, when there's a crisis, of course you spring into action. In this episod...

When grow up with a toxic parent, Father's Day isn't an exciting celebration. It's a loaded weekend that sits heavy on your nervous system. And it's why the week leading up to it can leave you feeling completely drained before you even get to the main event. In this episode you'll learn: Why the week before and after Father's Day can feel just as heavy as the day itse...

When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all.  It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yo...

You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back. When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would.  These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and re...

That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all.  When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsib...

If you’re dealing with toxic in-laws and feeling unsupported by your partner, this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about one of the most requested topics I’ve avoided covering for a long time: navigating dysfunctional in-law relationships when you’ve married into a toxic family system. We’ll talk about why dealing with toxic in-laws is different from dealing with your own family dynamics,...

That heavy, drained, slightly nauseous feeling you've been carrying around since Sunday? You're not alone. If you grew up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day doesn't simply end when the day ends. The emotional hangover that follows can be just as heavy as the lead-up, and it can leave you replaying every interaction, every word, e...

If you grew up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, you know what it's like to have a crystal clear picture of what patterns you don’t want to repeat.  The problem is that picture doesn't come with instructions for what it actually requires to do things differently, and that gap is where so many cycle breakers get stuck in a painful loop of tolerating to...

When you grow up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day hits different. The whole holiday is built on a story that doesn't match your reality, and it can feel like there’s no space for the reality you actually lived.  Whether you're still in contact, low contact, no contact, or your mom has passed away, this day can bring up a complicated...

In this episode, Torie breaks down why dysfunctional families are so resistant to change, what actually happens when you bring new boundaries and skills back into your family, and why the pushback you're experiencing is not a sign you’re doing things wrong. Listen to learn:  What sets a healthy-ish family apart from a dysfunctional one  Why your family's behavior can get worse when you s...

In this episode, I walk you through: What patterns are common in narcissistic vs. borderline personality disorder Why the diagnosis itself isn’t what matters most What it feels like to grow up as a child dealing with a parent with these dynamics The key differences in behavior, motivation, and emotional impact Why these relationships feel so confusing, intense, and destabilizing We also talk about...

If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, chances are no one ever showed you what being an emotionally healthy adult actually looks like. In this episode, I’m breaking down why healing feels so confusing, messy, and unclear and what you actually need in order to move forward. We’re talking about: Why “I don’t want to be like them” isn’t enough to create healthy change...

When you grow up with an emotionally unpredictable or narcissistic parent, it’s easy to get stuck trying to figure out their intent especially when there were both good and painful moments. In this episode, we’re breaking down why that question keeps you stuck and what actually matters when it comes to healing and setting boundaries. Because the truth is, it’s not about whether they mean to hurt y...

In this episode, I’m talking about why that happens and why “just feel your feelings” isn’t actually helpful for most people who grew up in chaotic or emotionally unpredictable family environments. When you grow up with a parent who lacks emotional regulation skills, you learn to analyze, anticipate, and problem-solve. Not because something is wrong with you, but because it helped you function in...