Not Your Strong Black Woman

Send us Fan Mail I’m sharing five lessons I wish I could give my younger self about releasing the pressure to always be the Strong Black Woman. As I reflect on how far I’ve come, I’m opening up about the lessons that shaped my faith, healing, confidence, and personal growth. We’ll talk about knowing who God says you are, trusting Him through difficult seasons, facing what needs healing, changing h...

Send us Fan Mail Have you been in survival mode for so long that it’s started to feel normal? In this episode, we’re talking about tolerance—the things we get so used to carrying that we stop realizing how heavy they are. I’ll share how survival mode can keep us focused on simply getting through the day and one simple self-care practice—mindfulness—that can help bring you back to the present momen...

Send us Fan Mail Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. In this episode, I’m sharing one simple way to practice self-care using my ASK Framework: Awareness, Support, and Keep. We’ll talk about checking in with yourself, recognizing what you need, and actually following through. Treasure, you spend so much time caring for everyone else. Don’t forget to care for you too.  Here is a image I create...

Send us Fan Mail Do you look confident on the outside but constantly question yourself on the inside? In this episode, I’m sharing one easy way to build real confidence by changing the way you speak to yourself. I hope this episode provides a space for you to breathe. 💎 Hi Treasure, I’m Nassimbwa Ruffin. I’m a licensed therapist helping women move from surviving to thriving through confidence, he...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever been told to “just stay positive” when you were quietly falling apart? Being Positive can help is feel better Toxic positivity can make us feel like we have to hide our pain, suppress our emotions, and always be the strong one. But healing doesn’t begin when we pretend everything is okay. In this episode I will share one simple way to stop toxic positivity. 💎 Hi Tre...

Send us Fan Mail Grief changes us. After a loss, many of us spend so much time searching for peace, hoping that one day the pain will disappear. But what if peace isn’t something we find? What if it’s something we slowly learn to make? In this episode of Not Your Strong Black Woman, I share what grief has taught me about healing and how we can begin making peace without pretending we’re okay or ru...

Send us Fan Mail Everybody says, “Take a deep breath.” But what if deep breathing doesn’t work for you? In this episode of the Not Your Strong Black Woman Podcast , we’re exploring one of the simplest self-care practices you may not be using— humming . You’ll also be guided through a simple 30-second humming exercise that you can use whenever life feels overwhelming. Sometimes the simplest forms o...

Send us Fan Mail Do you struggle to believe in yourself? In Part 3 of the Lock In series, we’re talking about self-reliance and why believing in yourself matters more than you think. If you’ve ever told yourself “I can’t do this,” “I’m not disciplined,” this episode is for you. We’ll explore how your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your behaviors, and how to use my RCR Framewor...

Send us Fan Mail Self-discipline is not about punishing yourself. It’s about learning yourself. In Part 2 of the Lock In series, Nassimbwa Ruffin shares the truth about self-discipline nobody talks about.  In this episode, we discuss: • What self-discipline really means • Why consistency can feel so difficult • The emotional truth underneath our habits This episode is for the high-achieving woman...

Send us Fan Mail Are you ready to finally stop living on autopilot? In this episode, I’m sharing the first step of my SELF Framework to show you how to lock in and take control of your future. This is self-improvement that actually works because it starts from the inside out. For many people, self-awareness can feel overwhelming, but I’m breaking down how a simple mindset shift can become the cata...

Send us Fan Mail In today’s episode, we’re talking about something many women desperately need but rarely feel allowed to do… rest After hearing another Mother’s Day message about “being strong,” I started thinking: Why don’t we talk about rest too? Using the story of Mary and Martha in The Bible Luke 10:38–42, I break down how many high-functioning women end up stuck in survival mode, constantly...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever felt like you were "doing it wrong" because you couldn't just choose to be happy? I’m sharing the one secret to finding peace that nobody talks about: how to embrace the paradox of feeling two things at once. In this video, I’m opening up about my own journey through birth trauma and the realization that changed everything for me. We often think we hav...

Send us Fan Mail In this powerful episode, Nassimbwa Ruffin breaks down the truth behind the Strong Black Woman stereotype and how it can keep many women stuck in survival mode. What looks like strength on the outside can sometimes be pain, pressure, emotional suppression, and carrying too much alone. Through personal storytelling, research-backed insight, and practical healing tools, Nassimbwa ex...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Nassimbwa Ruffin breaks down why setting boundaries is one thing—but keeping them is where many people struggle. If you’ve ever felt guilty saying no, found yourself overgiving, or watched people push back when you started changing, this episode is for you. You’ll learn what boundaries really are, why they can feel so uncomfortable, and how to stay consistent usin...

Send us Fan Mail If you’ve been tired, overwhelmed, emotionally drained, but still getting everything done… this episode is for you. We’re talking about functional freeze, why so many women keep pushing past their limits, and 4 easy ways to REST using my R.E.S.T. framework: Recognize, Evaluate, Shift, and Train. Because functioning is not the same thing as feeling okay. About Nassimbwa: I am Licen...

Send us Fan Mail When life gets hard, it’s easy to start expecting the worst. But what if confidence in difficult times starts with what you prepare your mind, body, and spirit for? In this episode, I share what shifted in me after waking up in the hospital and how I learned to stop preparing for the worst and start preparing for better. I’ll walk you through 4 easy ways to build confidence in dif...

Send us Fan Mail Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or stuck in survival mode? In this episode, we’re talking about stress, cortisol, functional freeze, and how chronic stress affects the body — especially for high-functioning women who keep pushing through even when they’re tired. You’ll learn: ✨ What stress actually is ✨ What cortisol is and how it impacts your nervous system ✨ What functional f...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of Not Your Strong Black Woman, we explore how trauma, stress, and overwhelming life events can impact confidence—and why struggling after a storm doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Using trauma-informed psychology, faith-based encouragement, and practical self-care tools, Nassimbwa Ruffin explains what happens when the brain goes into survival mode and how...

Send us Fan Mail What if confidence isn’t something you lack—but something shaped by how you talk to yourself? In this episode of the Not Your Strong Black Woman Podcast, Nassimbwa Ruffin explores how negative self-talk quietly affects your confidence, your choices, and what you believe you deserve. She breaks down where negative self-talk comes from, why it feels so automatic, and how thoughts tu...

Send us Fan Mail Confidence isn’t about being the loudest in the room—it’s about being rooted in who you are. In this episode, Nassimbwa Ruffin shares 3 easy, practical ways to be confident that don’t require performing, people-pleasing, or pretending to be someone you’re not. You’ll learn how to anchor your confidence in your identity, trust the way you show up, and walk into any space grounded i...

Send us Fan Mail If you’ve ever said, “I don’t have time for self-care,” this episode is for you. Today, we’re breaking self-care all the way down — making it simple, doable, and something you can practice even on your busiest days. In this episode, I share what self-care is, the benefits of self-care, and five easy self-care techniques you can start using today to calm your nervous system, lower...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Nassimbwa Ruffin opens up about what it truly means to be vulnerable—and why so many of us avoid it. 💎 She breaks down how hiding behind strength can actually hold us back and shares three simple ways to start embracing vulnerability in your everyday life. This episode is a gentle reminder that real strength is found in authenticity. About Nassimbwa: I am License...

Send us Fan Mail When life feels heavy, it’s easy to spiral thinking about everything that’s out of your hands. In this episode, Nassimbwa Ruffin shares 3 simple but powerful tips to shift your focus back to what you can actually control — your mindset, your actions, and your energy. About Nassimbwa: I am Licensed Graduate Professional Counselor, this podcast is to teach easy holistic health and w...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Nassimbwa Ruffin shares three easy ways to ask for help without feeling guilty. She highlights how asking for support is a form of strength, not weakness. Whether it’s starting small or building a support system, Nassimbwa provides practical tips to help you prioritize your well-being. About Nassimbwa: I am Licensed Graduate Professional Counselor, this podcast is...

Send us Fan Mail Trigger Warning: This podcast discusses miscarriage and may be emotionally challenging for some listeners. In this deeply personal episode, I share my own experience of loss after a miscarriage at 16 weeks and three ways I found to begin the healing process. These steps focus on nurturing both mind and body during an incredibly difficult time. My hope is that this episode can offe...