Housewives Heretics

So much to cover, so much to teach, so much to learn. Join us in Miami for our long-awaited return.  Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee 

Art meet Tweet, Tweet meet Art. This is a race, get ready & start!  Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee  Taglines written by Josh  Edited by Kalyndee  Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Pre-gaming on Star Island has us in Mynt condition for a meltdown.  Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee  Taglines written by Josh  Edited by Kalyndee  Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Who is texting who?  Who cares? Not us. Not you.  Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee  Taglines written by Josh  Edited by Kalyndee  Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

We’re going to eat, drink & dance until we leave in an ambulance. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

We’re leaving the reunion early to go back in the vault. We’re so relieved this long season has come to a halt. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Goin’ to the tennis courts and we’re gonna get married. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Lights are on but everything is a blur. Join us in a limo ride to the opening of SUR. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Sometimes people miss flights. Sometimes people are late. Sometimes retired people work. Just pretend everything is great. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

From First Class flights to little jets in the sky, we’re heading to our vacay in Lanai. With drinks we double fist & Evian to mist, we can‘t be bothered with excuses about transportation missed. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Grab some Fatburger if your appetite is hearty. Emotions are high at the annual White Party. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

We’re in Vegas & we’ve lost all of our contacts from our phone. Drop it like a chandelier and save us from the danger zone. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

What does chugging wine & belly dancing lead to? Pointing & screaming at a beachfront home in Malibu. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Bring over your scissors and hot glue, we’re going to pretend to design a shoe. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Count your tables and chairs. We’re riding our mechanical bull to the county fair. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

You hoped we’d sip our tea and forget it? We can’t. We won’t. So now we said it! Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

We start with an office party our plastic surgeon hosts, then we have a dinner where the special guests are ghosts. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

How do we celebrate being engaged? Doing splits with camels, snakes, & mermaids. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Welcome to the kitchen, wash the chicken with soap. Is this spa day relaxing at all? Nope Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Insult after insult. Dig after dig. We’re all pointing at you. You’re a pig, you’re a $lut pig! Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Let the games begin! These bathroom breaks will not be quick, so enjoy the fine dining of meringue and a breadstick. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Empty houses and $25,000 sunnies? We have questions about how you spend your money. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Baby, please don’t go. You have mintz so much to us. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Will our nervous breakdown fit in this suitcase? Will corporate greed move the Kings to a new place? Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla

Snow isn’t the only thing melting down on this mountain. Follow us on Instagram @housewivesheretics_@jry27 @kalyndee Taglines written by Josh Edited by Kalyndee Digital Media & Special Projects by Micayla