After the Session: Two Therapists Telling It Like It Is

In this episode of After the Session , John and I sit down and reflect on a few things we’ve learned from the therapy chair. After years of listening to people work through relationships, loss, change, anxiety, and all the messiness of being human, we’ve picked up a few lessons along the way. Some of them are simple. Some are hard. And honestly, some of them we’re still learning ourselves.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , Matt Walsh makes some legitimate criticisms of therapy. There are therapists who overpathologize normal struggles, turn every problem into trauma, and can inadvertently reinforce a person’s identity as a victim. But here’s the problem with broad generalizations: neither John nor I have met every therapist. We believe good therapy should do m...

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore our relationship with stuff—from meaningful collections and everyday clutter to the more complex reality of hoarding. Why do we hold on? What do our possessions represent? And when does keeping become something that keeps us?

In this episode of After the Session, Unfinished Notes , we consider how constant distraction may weaken our ability to regulate emotions, tolerate conflict, read social cues, and remain present with the people right in front of us. What are we losing when our phones become an escape from discomfort, conversation, and connection?

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we’re going to have a little rant—about traffic and what happens to perfectly reasonable people behind the wheel. Why do we become impatient, distracted, entitled, and downright aggressive? Maybe the problem isn’t sociopathy. Maybe we’ve simply forgotten there’s a human being in that other car.

What if the patterns we notice in counseling aren’t rules for living, but invitations to pay attention? In this episode of After the Session , Unfinished Notes , we explore the recurring patterns that shape our thoughts, relationships, choices, and behaviors—and how noticing them can create space for greater awareness, freedom, and meaningful change.

Joining us today is Cathy Downen, Licensed Professional Counselor, National Certified Counselor, founder of Christian Counseling Connection, and a PhD candidate whose research focuses on post-traumatic growth. Together, we'll explore a question many people ask: Can trauma become the beginning of growth? While trauma changes us, it doesn't have to define us. We'll discuss how people move beyond mer...

We all carry wounds, but healing begins when pain no longer defines who we are. In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore the difference between being victimized and adopting a victim identity, and why reclaiming responsibility—not blame—is often the first step toward genuine freedom and growth.

Stress often isn't the real problem—our unmanaged stressors are. In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore how boundaries, assertiveness, and challenging cognitive distortions can reduce the sources of stress rather than simply managing our reactions. Greater agency begins by addressing what we can influence, not merely calming how we feel.

Money isn't just about numbers. In therapy, it often reveals deeper stories about fear, security, identity, relationships, and hope. While therapists don't give financial advice, they help people understand the beliefs and emotions driving financial decisions, because lasting change often begins beneath the budget.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore a question that often gets overlooked: What if feeling better isn't the same as healing? While relief is important, lasting healing often requires us to look beneath the symptoms to the deeper wounds, beliefs, and patterns that keep us stuck. Join me as we discuss why the absence of pain isn't always the presence of health, and ho...

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore the subtle danger of the slow drift—how small compromises, unchecked distractions, and misplaced focus can gradually pull us away from our purpose. Discover practical insights to recognize the drift, realign your heart, and stay anchored in what truly matters.

Why do certain comments, situations, or interactions affect us so deeply? In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore the hidden story behind emotional triggers, how old wounds shape present reactions, and practical ways to pause, gain insight, and respond with greater wisdom and intention.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we explore a simple but powerful question: What voice do you believe? Fear, shame, criticism, past wounds, and truth all compete for our attention. The voices we trust shape our thoughts, emotions, relationships, and choices. Join us as we discuss how to identify unhealthy narratives and cultivate a healthier, more grounded perspective.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore the tension between what we want now and what we want most. Through the lens of delayed gratification, we discuss impulse, discipline, relationships, and personal growth, examining how today's choices shape the future we ultimately hope to build.

In this episode of After the Session , we explore whether AI can replace human connection in therapy and emotional support. We examine its strengths, limitations, and risks, including empathy simulation, accountability, and relational depth, while asking what truly drives human change: information, or authentic relationship and community.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore why life rarely fits into neat either/or categories. From relationships and personal growth to faith and mental health, we discuss the dangers of black and white thinking and how wisdom often emerges through nuance, tension, curiosity, and both/and perspectives.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore why transformation is about more than acquiring information. We discuss how habits, attention, relationships, and repeated behaviors shape who we become. Are we simply consuming knowledge, or are we being formed into wiser, healthier, more grounded, and more loving human beings?

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we explore the tension between wanting a partner and needing a partner in couples. When emotional desire blends with dependency, relationships can become pressured and unclear. We also consider how couples can recover curiosity and connection as a path back toward healthier attachment and emotional presence.

Before listening to this episode, take a few minutes to listen to the song Circle by Harry Chapin and then return to it again afterward. The song serves as a companion to this conversation and captures much of the heart behind what we explore here. In this episode of After the Session , we reflect on how music, memory, loss, meaning, and mortality shape the human experience. We discuss the emotion...

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes , we explore the other 167 hours after therapy ends and real life begins. Growth is not confined to the counseling room. It happens in ordinary moments, difficult conversations, quiet reflections, setbacks, choices, and the slow practice of becoming different over time.

Why do intelligent, capable adults sometimes react emotionally like wounded children? In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we explore the “inner child,” family systems, emotional development, and how unresolved experiences from early life continue shaping relationships, conflict, anxiety, and connection long after childhood officially ends.

Some people drain every room they enter. In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we talk about how to deal with difficult personalities without losing yourself in the process. We explore boundaries, emotional regulation, conflict, manipulation, and the difference between compassion, avoidance, and healthy self respect in everyday relationships.

In this episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, we explore how avoiding conflict to keep peace can erode trust, weaken intimacy, and disconnect us from ourselves. Real kindness tells the truth, even when it risks discomfort and requires courage.

In the episode of After the Session: Unfinished Notes, John and Dwain explore intimacy as gift and risk, examining how fear, control, and avoidance distort connection while honesty, presence, and responsibility restore it. They unpack common pitfalls, challenge cultural narratives, and point toward a deeper vision of relational closeness that remains unfinished.