We're Not Helpful Podcast
We're Not Helpful
Welcome to "We're Not Helpful," the podcast where unconventional meets literature! Join hosts Brayton, Eloise and Julian as they take a hilariously unhelpful dive into the world of books and writing. In each episode, our hosts explore a variety of literary topics with their signature blend of wit, humor, and irreverence. From dissecting classic novels to debating the merits of various writing styles, "We're Not Helpful" offers a refreshing take on the literary world that's anything but conventional. Whether you're a seasoned bibliophile or just dipping your toes into the literary pool, this po...
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21. Apr 2026
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Episode 56: Stop It 21.04.2026 1:23:49
We have a bit of an announcement...life has gotten lifey , and we're taking a short break from the show. But before we go, we cover a lot of ground: the Good Omens Season 3 trailer (Eloise had two minutes to debrief and did not breathe once), The Pitt Season 2 wrap-up, Project Hail Mary, Brayton's trip to Hobbiton, and the Hunt for Gollum cast reveal. See you on the other side, and in the meantime...
Episode 55: Technically a Book Podcast 07.04.2026 1:19:23
We came in with a plan to talk about the craft of writing recipes, what makes them work, what makes them infuriating, but the conversation quickly became an extended therapy session for Julian, former chef and a man with strong opinions about people who "can't cook." We do briefly discuss books, we promise. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @no...
Episode 54: Old Woman Rants at Cloud! 24.03.2026 1:24:36
A chaotic, rant-filled episode that eventually zeroes in on Wuthering Heights , unpacking its messy, toxic “love story,” the challenges of adapting such a dense novel, and the controversy surrounding casting and race in the latest film version. Along the way, we debate whether adaptations need to stay faithful, what gets lost when key themes are removed, and how much creative license is too much....
Episode 53: We Demand Consequences! 10.03.2026 1:08:42
On this episode we discuss The Great Gatsby, whether or not it's themes are relevant to today's climate (HINT: VERY MUCH SO), and more importantly...is it actually good? Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful podcast Instagram: @nothelpfulpod Threads: @nothelpfulpod TikTok: @nothelpfulpod Hosted...
Episode 52: I'm Not in the Mood 24.02.2026 1:05:09
I mean....*gestures broadly at everything*... we understand. Sometimes you're just not feeling it. https://theconversation.com/terry-pratchetts-novels-may-have-held-clues-to-his-dementia-a-decade-before-diagnosis-our-new-study-suggests-273777 https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a64917333/george-rr-martin-the-winds-of-winter-update-controversy/ Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at...
Episode 51: The Ice is Melting 10.02.2026 1:11:50
Have you seen Heated Rivalry? Well one of us has and she really wants to talk about it!...also The Pitt! Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful podcast Instagram: @nothelpfulpod Threads: @nothelpfulpod TikTok: @nothelpfulpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Helpful Parts: Conjuring Patrick Wilson 27.01.2026 1:51:29
In this special episode we summon the world of The Conjuring and ask the important question: how did Patrick Wilson become modern horror’s most reliable dad? Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful podcast Instagram: @nothelpfulpod Threads: @nothelpfulpod TikTok: @nothelpfulpod Hosted on Acast. Se...
Episode 50: Can I Speak to the Manager of the Simulation? 13.01.2026 1:25:42
Episode 50 marks our return with existential dread, AI jokes, and an urgent request to speak to the manager of the simulation. We rant, ramble, and eventually settle into a spoiler-filled discussion of Frankenstein , questioning monsters, creators, and whether Guillermo del Toro went too far...or not far enough? Content warnings: discussions of death, violence, trauma, and existential themes. Spoi...
Episode 49: 2025 - A Year That Definitely Happened 30.12.2025 1:22:06
Out of all the years that have ever existed, 2025 was absolutely one of them. In this very loose end-of-year retrospective, we look back on the things we loved, the things we didn't and the things that we absolutely did not plan for. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful podcast Instagram: @noth...
"I rolled a 1...again!" 16.12.2025 1:52:44
Welcome back to part 2 of our special Dungeons and Dragons episode! Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful podcast Instagram: @nothelpfulpod Threads: @nothelpfulpod TikTok: @nothelpfulpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
"I rolled a 1...is that good?" 02.12.2025 2:30:05
We're taking a break from regular episodes over the month over December. But never fear because we are here with the very first episode of our 2 part Dungeons and Dragons special. We really hope you enjoy how bad we all are at this game. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful podcast Instagram: @...
Episode 48: Staring at Cthulhu Like an Idiot 18.11.2025 1:11:07
We dive into millennial chaos, QR-code culture, and the bold internet heroes who think they could stare at Cthulhu without going insane. Plus, book talk, horror tangents, and a chaotic game where we guess classic opening lines horribly mangled by Google Translate. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not H...
Episode 47: In Defense of Skipping the Poems in Tolkien 04.11.2025 1:12:22
This week, we prove once again that we are—indeed—not helpful. Join Eloise, Brayton, and Julian as we spiral from Queensland hailstorms and zombie movies into a full-scale literary meltdown. What starts as a casual chat about Supanova and Jean-Claude Van Damme somehow becomes an unhinged debate about Lord of the Rings , Gone Girl , and why Hamlet should probably just get on with it already. Commen...
Episode 46: Fact or Fiction: Should It Be Accurate If It’s Boring? 07.10.2025 1:13:10
This week, we accidentally stumble into a surprisingly deep question: does historical accuracy actually matter if the story’s good? From Braveheart ’s creative liberties to Chernobyl’s condensed timelines, we explore how far films and books can stretch the truth before it stops being “based on a true story” and starts being full-on fan-fiction. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email...
Episode 45: Is Hugh Grant Too Charming to Be Scary? 23.09.2025 1:13:10
Hugh Grant in a horror movie? We ask if he’s just too charming to be scary. Plus: K-Pop Demon Hunters hype, why book lists make us rage, and the eternal crime of reheated coffee. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful podcast Instagram: @nothelpfulpod Threads: @nothelpfulpod TikTok: @nothelpfulpo...
Episode 44: The Monster is Frankenstein 09.09.2025 1:14:44
This week we dig into Guillermo del Toro’s upcoming Frankenstein and the review that had us wondering if the critic even read the book. We chat about why the creature was never really the monster, how Hollywood keeps twisting the story, and what a faithful adaptation might actually look like. Plus, a few rants about media literacy and why The Pitt is a fantastic show and maybe we should've talked...
Episode 43: Books, Boundaries & the Bendigo Writers Festival 26.08.2025 1:16:01
At the Bendigo Writers Festival, a new code of conduct sparked debate about free speech, safe spaces, and censorship. We dig into the controversy, and still manage tangents on The Naked Gun reboot, George R.R. Martin’s Sesame Street characters, and why fandoms never stop arguing. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Faceb...
Episode 42: Superman, Spicy Dracula & Dickens’ Worst Guest 12.08.2025 1:08:43
We tried to stay on topic… but failed spectacularly. Starting with James Gunn’s Superman and a disastrously bad War of the Worlds remake, we somehow end up deep-diving into Iceland’s saucy Dracula , the time Hans Christian Andersen became Dickens’ houseguest from hell, and the bizarre habits of famous authors. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky:...
Episode 41: Media Mysteries 15.07.2025 1:13:28
Welcome back to We’re Not Helpful ! In this week’s episode, we dust off the shelves of time and plunge into the strange, shadowy world of lost literary works books that vanished, were never published, or were deliberately destroyed… and the enduring mysteries they left behind. Find some lost media yourself here: https://lostmediawiki.com/Home Article mentioned in the show: https://www.theguardian....
Episode 40: When Books Meet Film 01.07.2025 1:17:54
Join us as we tumble unapologetically into discussions about various book adaptations, both the good and the bad. From Kubrick’s take on The Shining to Flanagan’s atmospheric recreations, and even the chaos of World War Z. We pick apart why some adaptations win our hearts while others leave us in head-scratching bewilderment. Sprinkled with rants on The Hobbit, Frankenstein, and, of course, some u...
Episode 39: Conspiracies of the Quill 17.06.2025 1:18:06
In this wild ride of an episode, we jump into deep and thoroughly entertaining discussions on literary conspiracies. Did Christopher Marlow fake his own death? What really happened to Agatha Christie during her mysterious disappearance? Could HP Lovecraft have been keyed into actual cosmic horrors? We also humorously debate whether Lewis Carroll was Jack the Ripper and whether Stephen King has mor...
The Helpful Parts: It's the Rani?! (or is it?) 07.06.2025 1:43:47
Another season of Doctor Who is complete, so you you what that means?! Eloise and Brayton are back to recap and ramble about our favourite Time Lord. WARNING: This episode contains full spoilers for the newest season, so watch then first before listening. Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email: nothelpfulpod@gmail.com Bluesky: @nothelpfulpod.bsk.social Facebook: We're Not Helpful po...
Episode 38: Carrie's Mum 20.05.2025 1:01:24
Jumping into a lively discussion about mums in literature. We dive deep into Carrie's fearsome mother, Molly Weasley's warmth, and other memorable mums. Of course we go of on tangents about bullshit jobs and a less than thrilling reading of The Axolotl Song. As usual, we're not super helpful, but wishing all mums a happy belated Mother’s Day! Comments, questions, feedback? Get in touch at: Email:...
Episode 37: Words we Love to Hate 06.05.2025 1:07:27
In this episode we dive into the fascinating (and sometimes frustrating) ways language evolves — especially in online spaces, sparked by Eloise's strong feelings about the word “unalived". We explore the reasons behind these linguistic shifts — from censorship and community guidelines to the power of words and cultural sensitivity. Along the way, we reflect on the importance of clear communication...
Episode 36: Cover to Cover 22.04.2025 1:05:44
In this episode, Eloise, Brayton, and Julian jump straight into the conversation discussing random topics (as per usual) ranging from 'raw dogging' flights, feelings of guilt, and random tangents into personal experiences and nostalgia, before diving into the Dymocks Top 101 Books for 2025. Casual, funny, and a bit all over the place - but did you expect anything different? Comments, questions, fe...
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