urbanNictionary

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest steals a Rolls and takes you on a felonious mental joyride to prison, complete with a prison love triangle that she was ALMOST in. Welcome to urbanNictionary -Ok. Can we break in that backseat? Mentally, of course. -Producer Phil "Accept My Friend Request Please" Lawrence www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on a leisurely stroll down her street which includes a stop in Pound Town, discusses being the too-tan-sheep-of-the-neighborhood & she gives an update on that really dumb drummer. Welcome to urbanNictionary. Can we make that population 3 please? -Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on an emotionally charged hit-and-run with one truth, another truth and a revelation. Welcome to urbanNictionary. -I hope she recognizes the 80's porn music I added after she left Studio 37 today. -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest brings you the first podcast from the new studio, Studio 37, where she discusses the various sex tapes she has filmed, if she would do it again and another bad experience with yet another drummer. Welcome to urbanNictionary. -I'm down to co-star in said film -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest happily drags you along as she talks about doing laundry in prison vs. doing laundry as a free person, unwelcome lectures and airing out some more dirty laundry. -Of which I would gladly sniff. -Producer Lawrence

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on a memorable trip that details having 'Pickle Options', defines pickle guts and recalls the horrible nurses she had to do naked tricks for while she was in prison. Welcome to urbanNictionary. -I can't wait to find out if my pickle is an option! -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest wraps up this intense 6 part series with her story of her happy ending, her forever coffee-pot-turner-onner and her soulmate...the calm to her forever storm yet a tornado himself, Archie. -Who Is NOT Producer Lawrence. FML-Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on a laxative joy run in this first part of the two part of the 6 part series that focuses on her past lessons culminating in the final piece of her love-puzzle. Welcome to urbanNictionary. urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest proves she's not just once...twice...three times a divorcee in this epic third-installment of "The Ex-Files". -I'd lick her feet. -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest fondly reminisces about the time she spent an entire day of celebrating freedom all while being incarcerated in prison. It's about making leprachauns out of lemonade, right? -On a serious note, I'd eat a dozen lemons to make her some verbena perfume. -Producer Lawrence

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on a Monopoly board-inspired adventure of a money-controlling, manipulative step-parenting relationship and not passing go or collecting the $200.00. Welcome to urbanNictionary. -Please play "Strip Monopoly" with me, Nicole. I'll even let you be the dog. -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on a hop, skip and a jump-off-the-cliffs notes version of her first marriage. Bring a high-lighter. And coffee because it's a snoozefest. -Producer Lawrence, AKA Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride. urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest briefly discusses her marriages, subsequent divorces and how she got out from under the giver-of-her-second-X-chromosomes' Umbrella of Authority. Welcome to urbanNictionary. -I had a 33% chance at being an Ex-Husband, a shot I would have taken. Even if she IS completely & utterly batshit insane. -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest talks of her remembered first addiction, prison food addictions, dicks that she has shunned (or NOT shunned), and being the recovering addict who is forever shunned. Welcome to urbanNictionary. -Please Dear Lort BeBeJesus let her not shun my dickasaurus. -Producer Lawrence

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest talks genuine apologies, podcast demographics, creating a better person by using better parts and books with earmarked pages. --I looked it up for her. The movie is "Weird Science" (1985). She should know the story premise because Nic is already the perfect woman. -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest explains why she can NEVER land on the 'Right Side Of The Law", tells about a near-death experience with a bear while completely bare, gives her recipe for her own Fathers Day COCK-tail, discusses living on the right side of the local Kum & Go and what the entire world now knows about her. Welcome to urbanNictionary Side Note: When she mentioned Kum &am...

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest reminisces about her close call with sure fame (all sarcasm intended), her police chase to police capture ratio and which fat yet extroidinarily tanned asscheek some Fayetteville drivers can specifically kiss. -Who shaves her legs everyday? Nic does. -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on a shocking ride. No shocking like the electric chair, but close. --Even her hand sanitizer turns me on. Producer Lawrence https://urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on an intense journey of prison strip searches and somehow even makes those funny. Welcome to urbanNictionary. --Does anyone know if that prison is hiring for that exact position? -Producer Lawrence . https://urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest tells a secret that will make you laugh until you cry. We won't hold this one against her though. I would love her even if she didn't pee in the bed. Should I buy her a gift next week? -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on a plot twisting run around the bases as she talks about how she doesn't fit in with other baseball moms. I'd let her round third base with me though. Her favorite perfume is Chloe from Dillards. She told me that today. Saving this post for a Secret Santa gift idea later. https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest attempts to explain numbers and shit all while reminiscing about her very first Xanax ever. Did you know she drooled pasta salad once? No lie, hand to Bible. I'd totally feed her pasta salad if she would ask me to. https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess-With-The-Almostest takes you on some half-remembered yet fully-baked truth pie trip filled with magical prison stories and literal & figurative screwings. Welcome to urbanNictionary. God, her hair smells so good today. -Producer Lawrence https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess With The Almostest Wang Chungs you right in the eardrum with tales of things you only dreamed of in your worst daydreams. She's growing on us but we are still a little scared of her around the office, TBH. She needs a producer. https://www.urbannictionary.com

Your Hostess With The Almostest invites you to stroll down memory lane filled with weird stories about birthdays past...and why she didn't want Happy Birthday mentioned at all. Have we mentioned how incredibly FUCKED UP we think this broad is? Jesus God, Leah. https://www.urbannictionary.com