Two Average Chimps

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss those around them who need neck punches and the art of subtle parenting, all whilst sipping Wild Turkey Kentucky Spirit Single Barrel Whiskey.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss summer vacations, the passing of icons of their childhood, and whatever else pops into their chimp brains, all whilst sipping Redwood Empire Pipe Dream Whiskey.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss midlife crises, yay or nay on going braless, and face sitting, all whilst sipping Hogsworth bourbon whiskey with Armagnac.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss the Chimp socials, AI art, Father's Day, and the Jr Chimps getting all grown up, all whilst sipping Sazerac straight rye whiskey.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss graduation season, professional pillow fighting on the Ocho, and honest obituaries, all whilst sipping Kirkland Small Batch Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones for the first Al Fresco episode of the season and discuss Easter, the emergence of T&T, and dance competition animals, all whislt sipping American Highway Kentucky straight bourbon.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones, ditch the script for a night, and follow tangents all whilst sipping Lusty Claw Selected Kentucky Straight Bourbon.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss a visit to our Nation's Capital, a game of bingo, and two chimps on a farm, all whilst sipping Rabbit Hole Cavehill Kentucky single barrel whiskey. https://twoaveragechimps.com/

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss Chimp mindfulness, sending nudes, and Matt's new bus crush, all whilst sipping Rye 3 whiskey.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss hot-boxing stairwells, why Valentine's Day sucks, and cranky old people, all whilst sipping Old Bardstown Kentucky Straight Bourbon.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss people molesting themselves dangerously, all whilst sipping Green River Wheated Kentucky Straight Bourbon.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss a Mass-Hole tournament, Man Vs. Food, and a whole new meaning to sitting on your hands, all whilst sipping Elijah Craig Toasted Barrel Kentucky Straight Bourbon.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss the new season of Chimps, Holiday celebrations, Hot Box Karma, and Frank's OnlyFans page, all whilst sipping Tullabardine Single Malt Scotch Whiskey.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss a hockey tourney in Nashville, Thanksgiving, and getting ready for Christmas, all whilst sipping Tomintoul Speyside Glenlivet Scotch Whiskey, aged 16 years.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss Halloween, the official kick-off of the holiday season, and ghost tales, all whilst sipping Dad's Old Hat Rye Whiskey.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss Halloween, why Grandpa Joe is a J.O., and the movies from our childhood, all whilst sipping King's Falcon Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whiskey.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss the joys of public transportation, vanity plates, and an update on Farts in a Jar Guy, all whilst sipping George Remus straight bourbon whiskey.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss terrible whiskey, a bathroom symphony, and a "Would You Rather" you WOULDN'T rather, all whilst sipping Toki Suntory Japanese Whiskey.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss the summer hiatus, the most magical expense on earth, and two husky Chimps judging the rest of the not-slim world, all whilst sipping Coit Spirts Indiana Straight Bourbon Whiskey.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and go off the rails after another hiatus while talking about absolutely nothing while smoking and drinking al fresco, all whilst sipping Doc Swinson Straight Bourbon Whiskey aged five years.

Matt and Mike Molest the microphones and discuss technical diffuckalties, Father's Day, and appliances, all whilst sipping Blackened Whiskey Aged in Black Brandy Barrells.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss Sasquatch, a Chimp field trip, and a hockey tourney sans Matt, all whilst sipping Sasquatch Bourbon Whiskey.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss Memorial Day, raising puppies, and long days at Disney World all whilst sipping Traveller Whiskey by Chris Stapleton.

Matt and Mike molest the microphones and discuss a Chimp’s BDay, backing your truck up, and social media rabbit holes all whilst sipping Fort Hamilton Double Barrel Bourbon Whiskey.

Mike and Matt molest the microphones and discuss personal hygiene, office fashion shows, and the final glass of OJ, all whilst sipping Alton New York Straight Rye Whiskey.