Twilight Phase

Hello! We are back with yet another wild chapter of Breaking Dawn, but also like nothing happens??  Bella drinks blood (which we really think should have been a much bigger deal than it was), and Jacob talks to Jared about some dumb pack stuff (like how everyone is acting like Jake‘s pack has run away to Antarctica and not a mile north) and that's literally alllll that happens.  But also...

Hey Twilight Fam! Breaking Dawn continues to be the wildest ride that we only kinda signed up for, and we haven’t even gotten to the wildest part. Leah joins the pack and Jacob isn't pleased. Bella is getting worse and Jacob isn't pleased. But also Jacob is the ONLY PERSON who thinks a vampire fetus may need vampire food, so I guess we’re glad he’s around. Even though homeboy just will not be plea...

Jacob throws off the shackles of the alpha to claim his birthright, or whatever, and a second pack is born. Speaking of births, we are all dreading the childbirth chapter, but don't worry, this isn't it. We do learn a little too much about clinical death and plasma though UGH. Come for the literary analysis, stay for the mediocre science. Email us if you know anything about how wolf packs actually...

IT'S OUR ONE HUNDREDTH EPISODE!!! We bet you never thought we'd make it this far. Well, we didn't either! In this episode we debate the important questions...would Bella lay Rumpelstiltskin like an egg?  Please write in and tell us how you think SMeyer could have gotten Carlisle SO wrong at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twi...

Y'all, this chapter is absolutely WILD, please join us. Is this a fanfic introducing a storyline where Edward, Bella, and Jacob become a throuple? NO? Are you sure?? Jacob lies eyes upon emaciated pregnant Bella, and does not imprint on Resurrection. Please submit your 5,000 word essays on the literary, real-world, and biological implications of this fact to twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join th...

Listeners, hold onto your butts and comfort blankets as we brave the first chapter for Jacob's POV. RIP!!! Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com and let us know what media you think depicts teenagers accurately. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

Bella, this chapter: ”Am I Pregant? Am i gregnant? Is there a possibly that i'm pegrent? Could I be pregonate? Am i pegnate?? Help!? 38+2 weeks pregananant? Dangerops prangent sex? will it hurt baby top of his head? Can u down a 20 foot waterslide pegnat? I think my dog is pregernet??? How do I know if I'M prengan? Can i be prregnant???? Can u get pregante... ? Am I pregegnant or am I okay?” https...

Look y'all, honestly nothing much really happens in this chapter but it is SO PREFERABLE to what's about to happen that we wish it could last forever!!!!  Sex changes everything! The whole plot of this whole series hinges on whether or not they bone!! Sex saves lives!! Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your favorite tropical activity  Join the coven at Patreon...

Fam, the moment we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived . . .  SEX.  Edward and Bella finally do the do, and BOY do we have a variety of thoughts and opinions. Like, is waiting so long really worth It? And, does It live up to the hype? Also, why is no one concerned about venom sperm?? You can be sure we get to the Bottom of each of these questions. (We do also discuss bottoming vs top...

You know how we complained about wanting more drama at this wedding? Well, be careful what you wish for: the big bad wolf is back... Also this is the last time Bella will ever see her parents APpaREntLY I GuEsS??? Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

BUCKLE UP EVERYTONE IT'S WEDDING TIME!!!! Bella doesn't care though so she doesn't tell us very much. And we ask a big question...has SMeyer ever even been in a wedding???  Email us your thoughts on this episode/Bella's wedding at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Sometimes we post to social: @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightph...

The baby foreshadowing is STRONG, y'all. Did you know Edward and Bella are gonna have a baby in this book? Well, did you?? Not so surprising when they talk so much about doing it but refuse to prepare or practice. But will it be one of these terrifying immortal children that were apparently a huge fad back in the day? Only one way to find out. Email us your OG Breaking Dawn predictions from w...

WE'RE BAAAAACK! And just like a vampire, our love for you guys is immortal. In this episode we catch up from our break, and dive into the first chapter of Breaking Dawn to find that Bella has truly not changed one iota. Our girl is a debbie downer and we love her for it! Email us your thoughts on Eclipse at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast (we'll b...

Listeners! Thank you for sticking with us through Eclipse! In this episode we close out the third book of the Twilight Saga with some of your quality analysis, a spirited debate over whether or not Pokemon is animal abuse, and underscoring that now and forever we are Team Leah because Jacob is a butthead.  Email us your thoughts on Eclipse at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at...

Bella is Big Sad and we're maybe a little unsympathetic about it, but that's what happens when we know Bella is about to get everything she thinks she's giving up!!! This chapter is no New-Moon-months-passing-by masterpiece, but at least we finally get some steamy Edward. And what would the almost-end of a Twilight book be without a scene of Bella and Edward trying to out-martyr each other? Email...

Eclipse is still not done, and there is still more for Jacob to be annoying about!! In this ep, Bella continues to pick Edward, and we continue to hear about how Bella doesn’t know what she wants. Jake also finally admits to being a MANIPULATOR!! And it’s is sweet, sweet vindication. For like, two seconds. HOW is this book not done yet. Email us about what you think Charlie’s super power is at twi...

Well fam, apparently there are still a few more chapters to Eclipse left. To what end? Very unclear to us. But here are some highlights of discussion from this chapter: The Volturi is the IRS but with murder Vampire bodies still make no sense??? Do they have organs?? Melissa pulls a Bella and thinks everything’s about sex (even tho it’s also not NOT about sex…) We have conclusive evidence that eve...

YOOOO IT'S A GUEST EPISODE! Thanks so much to our pal Olivia Neal for joining us! Olivia is a Twilight ~scholar~ who makes an impenetrable argument about why Twilight should have been gay. And you know WHAT??? She's right, Edward should be with Jacob, Bella should be with Alice, and Jasper and Rigatoni should. not. exist.  love u guys <3 You can find Olivia on insta @olivialeighneal Email...

The SECOND climax of this book is upon us, listeners, and we find out that it was VICTORIA all along !!! Whatttt???? Also, Bella does NOT care that everyone is about to die—she still wants Edward’s sweet, sweet ~eggplant emoji~ REAL bad. Also also, I guess there’s like some fighting and stuff idk Email us about whatever we said in the episode at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Pa...

TW: sexual assault Jacob is TRULY HEINOUS. That is all you need to know. Email us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Don't forget to check out our perks over at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com

This is it. The moment has arrived. We have reached the point of Eclipse, its spiritual zenith. THE TENT. Does it live up to being the only chapter Melissa and Olivia remember existing? Do Edward and Jacob murder each other and/or kiss?? Guess you gotta listen to find out. Pease submit fanfic of Jacob and Bella marrying, Jacob imprinting on someone else at 42, them getting divorced, and Edward eme...

LISTEN UP LISTEN-NERDS we love you guys <3  In this episode Bella continues to hate being engaged, Alice is suuuupes mean, Edward has a shiny new superpower and Jake is fully the worst he's ever been and we hate him. <3 Email us about whatever we said in the episode at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Sometimes we post to social: @Twilig...

“so like how much seggsy talk am I allowed to do in this copy?” -Melissa “make it x-rated” -Maya This is it, fam. Bella is HOT and BOTHERED and has decided to go for Edward’s cold, cold eggplant emoji. Is this everything we’ve been waiting for? Definitely. And also, absolutely not. We discuss the most important of all questions: Is death worth the D? Maybe?? If you’re married first? And have...

HAPPY NEW YEAR LISTENERS!! New year, same shenanigans. In this episode of Twilight Phase we keep it real with you all with more conversations about bones and vampire sperm. Plus, we follow along as Alice makes her Oscar bid, Edward gets a little squirrely about Jacob's gift, and the newborn showdown approaches.  Write in and tell us if you think vampire sperm would kill a plant at twilightpha...

There's a rumble in the woods, listeners! Detective Bella casually solves the case of the vampire army in her 24th hour of not sleeping and as a reward is licked chin to hairline by a giant moronic wolf. Jacob and Edward come up with a plan for what to do with Bella during the fight...and it's not the best ever but it's what they're rolling with. All in all this chapter is a grand ol' time so than...