the utter

You write a thing that came from a hole in your chest. You know it isn’t anything close to perfect. You press publish, against your inner critic’s judgment. You sigh a relieved sigh and go to make tea, or something like it. Twenty-four hours later, Substack emails you your numbers, a grade, if you like. I don’t. That’s the trouble. The metrics are sometimes true, but never the truth. As my readers...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com oh just me talking about talking

I can’t tell you how often I’ve felt like I’m too late. I felt late at eighteen, I felt late at twenty-three, and I’ve felt late deep in my thirties. It’s a mindset; there's no truth to it. The feeling was that I had missed some secret deadline, one no one ever announces but one we are expected to meet to be deemed successful. I looked at other people, those younger than me, moving faster than me...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com I don’t usually write about love in the way I’m about to. I write about love in prose and well-timed wistful poems infused with distance and hindsight. I write about the problem with love and the throes of early love, less so of the moments when it fails me or I fail it. I consider this work to be too close to...

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Somewhere in South West London, the leaves are turning pink. My love is moving on. I can't sleep in the same position anymore because everything slightly hurts. My joints are a shrill new language. My back is a long song. Los Angeles is awful and growing on me. Damn. I look great in my car. The streaming stations are fizzing, are melting into one. Things are poorly strung together. I'm turning int...

I know that I love you. You go walking every morning, beneath the trees when much of the city is sleeping and preparing for more of the same; walls, information, terror, doubt. You tell me that the sky is on a kind of holiday, deep breathing, pink, still. You talk about the sun, so low and tender you can stare it in the eye. The flowers are still showing up for work. I know that I love you. Everyt...

And so, The Josh Craig and I performed in Manchester. We’ll be performing everywhere. Invite us to your town.city.place of higher learning.gallery. I ❤️ poetry + electronics. Also, shout out to my gorgeous friend Eloghosa Osunde, whose book “Necessary Fiction” is in the works. Sometimes when I perform this poem live, I shout it out xx A special thank you to the Arts Council and Leone Rose xx This...

UK!!!! I’m having a party/meetup/fireside chat with electronics/ poetry reading/confessional in the UK with my incredible partner in fun, THE JOSH CRAIG!!! Come and say hi and listen or dance or sway to poems!!! SUN JULY 14TH doors at 7.30 PM band on the wall, Manchester, UK, FREE EVENT. TICKETS NEEDED FOR ENTRY!!!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or...

Fall in love with a new poem. Break this damn English in forty places. Bend these silly rules of Engagement since they are not working for people like us, have never rarely worked for people like us, and people like us are tired, perhaps. Understand time as a divine faculty, not simply a resource to be bartered. Delete those apps from the phone. Send E a long, winding voicenote. Shape the growing...

You say that I don’t seem myself . These days are long and revealing, so every time I see one through, I grin. Every time I make it home, I dance. Every time I’m up again after being down, down, down; I’m beating the odds. Every time I don’t give up, it’s worthy of celebration. Every time I write a poem, it’s a bloody miracle. Of course, the me you knew before is less available. She is keeping her...

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com/subscribe

"I might have said this already, but think I’ve said most things already." "I try to treat myself like I’d treat a lover. Or a parent." "Oh, what does it all mean, anyway?" This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com POEMS - SOBERCAKE KIN THE ROAR OF PATHS UNTAKEN IN THE ORANGE PEACE OF DUSK IT HAPPENS WITHOUT WE SHUDDER TO THINK THINGS YOU WAKE UP TO AT THE EDGE OF THE YEAR

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one day even this will be history one d...

You'd better watch what you are saying! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com/subscribe

a meditation This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com my long answer to the following; I find your poetry very raw and moving, lyrical yet not what one would expect to find in literary journals. My question is, did you have to get published in many journals and make your way up to publishing? if not, how did you first get published/noticed? More questions for the...

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Dear friend, * You have waited so long that waiting has become a home state, the place where you landed and took root. * This place, where you have set down your life, does not care for you at all. * What looks like safety might kill you. * You keep looking for permission outside of yourself, but there will never be enough. * You have thought yourself out of too many life-changing ideas. This is a...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit yrsadaleyward.substack.com lie to me again the middle finger poem there you are again look at all our stunning work

Did you know that you can study the body by taking the time, by making notes? Do you know you can begin to regulate? Do you know that no one knows your body more? So, with all this in mind, imagine you paid attention. This is a lifetime of learning. Imagine you knew how best to nourish your mind (the place where your future is made.) Imagine you gave your body more of the things that it needs to f...