The Terri Cole Show

Vic and I were watching a Richard Feynman lecture on YouTube recently, one of those deep dives into time, space, and quantum physics that makes your brain hurt in the best way. What struck me wasn't the physics. It was something underneath it, about how much we love certainty, how hard our minds work to manufacture it even where it doesn't exist, and how that love of certainty quietly limits what...

Whether you struggle with the fear of abandonment or you tend to shut down when things get close, this conversation is for you.   In this episode, I'm joined by psychotherapist Trevor Hansen to discuss why so many of us get stuck in the attachment style "research phase" and how to actually rewire your brain for secure attachment. We dive deep into the "origin stories" that drive our adult behavior...

Do you say yes before checking your calendar? Jump in to fix problems that aren't yours to solve? Adjust your plans without a second thought to keep the peace? If any of this sounds familiar, you might be an auto-accommodator. And trust me, it's costing you more than you realize. About two years ago, I shared a story about auto-accommodating that struck a nerve with so many of you. The response wa...

How does a 3-time Emmy winner create the most psychologically complex characters in TV history? Join me and the legendary Tom Fontana, showrunner of many series including "Oz" and "Homicide: Life on the Street" as we deconstruct the creative process, storytelling, and the human psyche. In this episode, we dive deep into the "Origin Story" of a master storyteller. Tom shares his unique 3-part frame...

Someone from our community recently sent me an email. She didn't understand why she had low self-worth, and she wanted to know if it was something she could change as an adult. The answer is a resounding YES.  We're going to cover how low self-worth develops, what it looks like when it's running in the background of your life, and what you can do to build something more solid, because building mor...

Do you have a book in you, waiting to be written? Or are you just curious what a developmental editor actually does for an author? To answer those questions, I invited an extra-special guest on the Terri Cole Show: The editor I work with on my very own books, Joelle Hann.  We chat about how Joelle has become such a precious part of my book-writing team, how she got her start as a developmental edi...

You've probably heard the terms emotional self-regulation and dysregulated nervous system. They're everywhere right now, and for good reason. But I want to make sure we're all on the same page about what dysregulation actually looks like when it's happening to you, in your body, on a Tuesday afternoon. That's what I'm getting into on this episode of The Terri Cole Show. How dysregulation presents...

Are you your own worst critic? In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, Terri sits down with viral content creator and New York Times bestselling author Misha Brown (@YourBestieMisha) to discuss his new book, Be Your Own Bestie: A No-Nonsense Guide to Changing the Way You Treat Yourself. Misha shares his "Hero Origin Story"—moving from being bullied to becoming an empathic powerhouse for millions....

We have lots of social science about the benefits of having good friends. But I hear from a lot of you that you're not sure how to find or make friends in this season of life. That is what we will be exploring in this episode.  I just got back from Costa Rica with girlfriends that I've known since I was four. We're all turning 62 this year, which means we've been friends longer than most marriages...

Whether you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or trying to prevent everyday burnout in your marriage, award-winning family lawyer and co-parenting expert Gabriella Pomari has advice for you. In this episode, we're sitting down to explore why so many successful women fall into the trap of over-functioning. Plus, how to reclaim your power through cleaner boundaries. Read the show notes for today...

Do you find yourself exhausted after interacting with certain people or in certain situations? With the state of the world, you might just be exhausted from listening to the news. But if you look at the patterns, you'll probably see there are certain situations and certain people that drain your energy more than others. I'm talking about empaths and highly sensitive people. I'm going to explain th...

On today's episode, I'm sitting down with iconic journalist and former Good Morning America host Joan Lunden to discuss her brand-new memoir, Life Beyond the Script. She shares the accidentally radical moments that defined her career—from becoming Sacramento's first weather girl with zero experience to being the first woman to bring a baby on set and advocate for breastfeeding on national televisi...

Has someone ever asked you a question that felt invasive, judgmental, or just plain rude?  Maybe it was a parent, a family member, or someone who thinks they're "just being caring."  Your response may have been to freeze.  Or smile and explain. Maybe you answered a question and later regretted it. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.  So many of us have been in that situation and thought aft...

What if real transformation doesn't require blowing up your life? In this episode, Terri sits down with meditation teacher and author Light Watkins to discuss his book The Year You Transform and the fastest, most accessible path to lasting change. They explore why success doesn't always lead to fulfillment, the myth of the "Eat, Pray, Love" transformation, and how small, intentional discomfort (li...

Many people can communicate just fine until a conflict arises.  Then the nervous system gets activated, and suddenly you're either shutting down, getting defensive, or saying things you don't mean.  Sound familiar? Our nervous systems get activated during conflict. It's normal for communication to be more challenging when you're activated than when you're not. That's just biology. When you underst...

Does fear feel like a stoplight in your head? Have you ever backed down from something important because it scared you? Today's guest, former U.S. Marine Corps Officer Jill Schulman, is here to help you rethink how you respond to fear. Listen to learn why fear is a part of bravery and you should "do it scared" instead of waiting to feel fearless. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricol...

I've been hearing from so many of you that you're feeling overwhelmed by what's happening in the world right now. And if you are, you're normal. Because it is overwhelming. We were not designed to be in this hyper-aroused nervous system state for as long as we've been. Our bodies aren't meant for it. Our minds aren't meant for it. And yet here we are, living in a 24-hour bad news cycle that litera...

Are you struggling with codependency, hyper-independence, or feeling lonely in your relationships? In this episode of The Terry Cole Show, therapist and bestselling author Nedra Tawwab shares powerful insights from her new book The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself. We explore attachment styles, boundaries, healthy dependency, and how to stop expecti...

Whether you are or partnered this Valentine's Day, you shouldn't wait for someone else's permission to feel loved. By now, it's a tradition: I'm sharing my annual Valentine's Day ritual to help you rest, relaxed, and love yourself this Valentine's Day, no matter what your other plans are.  Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/803 

Dannah had dreamed of a career in law enforcement since childhood, but her life was turned upside down right before college graduation, when a trusted mentor told her she was too empathetic for a career as a federal agent. How could she move forward when her true self and her true calling seemed to conflict? She found a way– as an author and expert who helps women navigate life with both confidenc...

Does your chest ever tighten when your phone rings and you see it's someone in your family who you know needs something? Does your stomach drop when you get a text message that says, "We need to talk"? If you're already exhausted before you say yes to a whole plethora of things your family of origin may need from you, this post is for you. Family obligations are something I have had a complicated...

Do you think you're codependent? Or are you unsure? In this post, I'm going to walk you through nine questions to help you understand, pretty conclusively, if you are a high-functioning codependent. I want you to walk away with a clear snapshot of your own codependent behaviors. And I want to be clear: this is a no-judgment zone. If we get really judgmental, we're not going to look at what we need...

When you're a high-functioning codependent, you don't look stuck. You look capable. You're the one who pulls everything together, gets it all done, and rarely asks for help. People see you as someone who has it handled. But there's a cost. And recovering from being a high-functioning codependent is the path to living the happy, healthy, balanced life you deserve. I created the HFC Recovery Code be...

I want to start with a question. When you want something, do you have a way of talking yourself out of it? Like, let's be "realistic"? Or say the odds are slim? Do you allow yourself to want what you want with all your heart? That's what this episode of The Terri Cole Show is all about. We're going to talk about manifesting. Note: This is a little woo, I'll admit. But this is one real aspect of ho...

In my almost three decades as a psychotherapist, I've seen passive-aggressive anger quietly destroy more relationships than infidelity. It's a slow drip of poison. And most of us don't even realize we're doing it. Do you ever say you're fine when you're not? Use sarcasm to let someone know you're pissed off instead of just saying it? Or are you ever on the receiving end of these behaviors? If you'...