The Self-Hype Podcast

Eli uses the latest season of Love is Blind as a masterclass in modern dating psychology and attachment styles. He breaks down the painful phenomenon of men on “autopilot”—guys who stick around and coast through a relationship simply because they don't want to be the bad guy, leaving you anxious and begging for their attention. From analyzing why some women double down when a man pulls away, to un...

Is your attachment style standing in your way? Our guest this week, published author, licensed therapist and attachment coach Jessica Da Silva breaks down the science of why we love the way we do. We’re talking childhood wounds, fear of failure, and how to tell if you’re actually ready for intimacy or just performing. Stop running from the "scary monster" of vulnerability and learn the tools to si...

If you’ve ever said “He’s avoidant, but our connection is different,” this episode is your intervention. Eli walks you through the real post-breakup cycle of an avoidant man—from love bombing and intensity, to shutdown and defensiveness, to the late-night “Hey stranger” text that has you questioning everything. Using his own past as an avoidant, he explains why him watching your stories, texting y...

Tiffany Yu didn't just survive a car accident at nine that killed her father and left her with a paralyzed arm—she built one of the most impactful disability advocacy platforms in the world. In this raw conversation, she takes us through the process of not only loving herself but turning it into action and advocacy. Tiffany shares how she went from a nine-year-old to the founder of Diversability,...

This episode is for the girl in the oversized sweater, scrolling couple photos, lowkey raging at Walgreens heart displays, and wondering why this day hurts so much. Eli walks you through how to survive Valentine’s Day when you’re single — not with fake “I don’t care” energy, but with honest, messy, human feelings that actually lead to healing. He gives you permission to be sad, angry, or triggered...

On this episode of The Self Hype Podcast, Eli sits down with Gina Moreno, a coach helping high-achieving women — especially Latinas — navigate ambition, self-care, and relationships. Gina shares her journey from tech prodigy and TED Talk speaker to discovering her true purpose: coaching women to break generational patterns and embrace their full potential. They dive into her early successes, the q...

This week we're talking rebounds — why they're not “moving on,” why they’re actually the loudest, clearest red flag your ex could ever wave, and why you should be doing a happy dance when you find out he already jumped to the next one. This episode breaks down the mental & emotional game men play when they can’t sit with their feelings, why rebounding is just external validation on steroids, a...

Sam became a double hand amputee overnight — and nothing about his life was the same afterward. In this deeply honest episode, Sam shares what it’s like to lose not just your hands, but your sense of normalcy, confidence, and control. We explore the emotional weight of trauma, from mourning the life you had to facing a world that suddenly feels inaccessible and unfamiliar. Sam speaks candidly abou...

Eli doesn’t just talk about “dating app tips.” He pulls the curtain back on the whole system — because these apps are designed to keep you swiping, not to help you find a partner. In this episode, you’ll hear how men move on the apps (spoiler: it’s not deep analysis, it’s survival mode), why men get fewer matches, why women end up “CIA-agent screening” everything, and how both sides start treating...

Eli breaks format and goes straight from the heart — reflecting on the fears he faced this year, the wounds that still sting, and what it really looks like to keep going when life isn’t cute. Because healing isn’t a movie. Sometimes it’s tears, shutdown, and still showing up anyway. This episode is built like a personal wellness coaching session. Eli gives you a step-by-step “think day” framework...

In this episode, Eli and Meg Reynolds break down why modern dating feels harder than ever — and why so many people stay stuck in relationships that drain them. Meg introduces the idea of the “ambition gap,” explains why emotional availability matters more than money, and shares how she learned to walk away sooner instead of negotiating her needs. They talk low-effort dating, inconsistent communica...

If the holidays make you feel like the only single person in a sea of matching pajama sets and forehead kisses, this episode will feel like a warm hug. Eli yaps, rants, and gets real about what it means to feel lonely during the “happiest time of the year” — even when you’re in a relationship. He breaks down how comparison steals your joy, why every emotion that surfaces right now is a teacher, an...

What happens when the life you built collapses overnight? Sahara Rose joins Eli for a profound conversation about feminine healing, spiritual awakening, and reclaiming your identity after betrayal. She shares how one devastating confession shattered her marriage—and how it initiated her into a deeper version of herself she didn’t even know existed. Sahara breaks down the truth about spiritual heal...

If you’re exhausted by ghosting, low-effort conversations, and another “promising” match that fizzles out, this episode is your deep breath. Eli breaks down what dating burnout actually does to your nervous system, why you don’t have to be a “super dater” 24/7, and how to see your love life in seasons instead of a constant grind. He walks you through taking a real break (yes, deleting the apps), n...

If you’ve ever stayed in a relationship that looked great on paper but felt terrible in your body, this one’s for you. Eli shares a recent experience witnessing an ICE raid in Chicago — and connects it to why so many of us normalize anxiety in our love lives. He dives into anxious attachment, “cool girl” behavior, and the kind of partners who leave you scared to speak up. Together, you’ll unpack w...

When Jenny lost her husband in a tragic plane crash, she didn’t just face grief—she faced herself. In this powerful episode, Eli and Jenny explore the full spectrum of healing: from shock and survival to rediscovering purpose, love, and joy. Jenny shares how she learned to care for herself while caring for her husband, the moment she decided to live again, and how listening to her intuition guided...

Love Is Blind! I’m ranting, reflecting, and dropping some truth bombs about what went wrong this season of the popular Netflix series. I'm unpacking the messy dynamics and explaining how you can avoid making the same mistakes. The season proved that love isn’t blind, but your standards don’t have to be—if you’re willing to do the work. We’re diving deep into why “love will grow” outside of attract...

Eli sits down with Hily Dating App's sexologist and sexuality educator Dr. Mindy DeSeta to flip the script on consent. This episode turns “awkward talks” into real-time foreplay—how to ask with finesse, lead with vulnerability, and keep things safe without killing the vibe. They break down why so many daters freeze from performance anxiety, how to start a spicy convo the right way, and why safety...

What do men want in relationships today? It’s more than just chemistry or physical attraction. Eli breaks down the key qualities men look for in long-term partnerships, focusing on emotional maturity, accountability, and how well you manage your emotions. In this episode, Eli discusses why emotional regulation is one of the most underrated yet crucial aspects of a successful relationship and how m...

Your circle isn’t just there to nod and say “girl, same.” Eli shows you how to transform friends into an accountability squad: ask permission before you vent, set the lane (listen vs. advice), and leave with one next step plus a date to report back. This is how support stops being emotional clutter—and starts becoming your healing engine. We unpack this and so much in stepping into your own power...

Ever been blindsided by a breakup, replaying every what-if, asking “Was it me?” Eli gets it. This week, he dives into the messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes hilarious reality of closure. Why it’s not always about answers, why secure people get triggered too, and why the “closure you want” isn’t always the closure you get. Through this episode, you’ll learn to parent your inner child, recognize av...

That instant spark, the butterflies, the “oh my God he’s hot” moment—it’s thrilling, it’s intoxicating… and it can make you blind. In this episode, Eli dismantles the myth that chemistry equals compatibility. He shares raw insights from years of coaching, personal experience as a former avoidant, and real stories from clients who got caught chasing sparks instead of substance. Learn how to pump th...

Self-care isn’t spa days and margaritas. It’s facing yourself with intention so you can raise the standard for your whole life. In this episode, Eli breaks down why real self-care is actually selfless, how “survival mode” keeps you burned out, and a simple intention-first system you can use today. He shares the BuzzFeed solo-date story, the backyard picnic that changed everything, and practical pr...

You asked, and Eli answered. In this special community-driven episode, host Eli Vazquez dives headfirst into your most burning questions about dating and heartbreak. Wondering what he’s really thinking in that rebound relationship? Confused about the difference between boundaries and rules? This is the episode for you. With his signature mix of tough love, relatable humor, and actionable advice, E...

You don’t need six months to see the truth—you need a process. In this episode, Eli gives you a three-date blueprint to identify avoidant patterns early: intentional check-ins, direct values alignment (marriage, kids, faith, location), and real talk about conflict and repair. You’ll learn how to calm an anxious attachment by building self-trust, practice reparenting with curiosity and compassion,...