The Rules

Multi-award-winning comedian Shalaka Kurup teams up with Simon to ensure that everyone will always be on time and respectful to bus drivers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Actor, comedian and musician Nick Helm vents to Simon about angry gym-goers, unfriendly neighbours and trying to maintain empathy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Co-host of Loremen and Rural Concerns James Shakeshaft joins Simon to combat anarchy in the world of eggs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Podcaster and Youtuber Robbie Knox implores Simon to reward elite airport users and punish traffic-light-ignoring cyclists. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Writer, stand-up and co-host of The Screen Rot Podcast Jacob Hawley inundates Simon with rules on drinking, driving, queuing and poltergeists. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Writer, actor and stand-up Annie McGrath joins Simon to make swimming pools more calming, park runs less dangerous and Q&As less embarrassing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand-up and sketch comedian Finlay Christie pleads with Simon to fix bad adverts, impolite conversation and stressful driving lessons. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand-up and Emmy-nominated writer Michael Odewale convinces Simon to utilise inflatable obstacle courses, horses and spanking to bring order to the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The inimitable Elis James begs Simon to force people to laugh at his jokes and chill out by 10%. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Multi-talented comedian Alasdair Beckett-King guides Simon towards subjugating the rich with book tokens and genetically engineered foxes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand-up, writer and immigration solicitor Sikisa employs Simon to add rules on public weeing, shared Spotify account etiquette and denigration of professional wrestling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Celebrated MC & stand-up Michael May convinces Simon to protect cats from being picked up and humans from being given dystopian names. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Actor and stand-up Eshaan Akbar helps Simon deal with people who refuse to get their tickets ready before the barriers and block escalators with their massive suitcases. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Award-winning stand-up Eryn Tett implores Simon to induct rules against one-star reviews and lying to be nice. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Writer and stand-up John Meagher convinces Simon to end the chaos of Lime bikes with the healing power of fire. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feel Good actor and stand-up Jack Barry helps Simon eradicate food fingering and window peering. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pappy's very own Tom Parry and Simon rid the world of chimneys and bring estate agents to order with the power of zorbs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Force of nature stand-up Kate Barron joins Simon to talk bad dog owners, etiquette lessons in schools and how to confront wrongdoers responsibly. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Co-founder of Angel Comedy Barry Ferns and Simon aim to embarrass cyclists and public eaters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Award-winning comedian Hasan Al-Habib and Simon get to grips with manipulative text messages and the decline of Ps and Qs in popular media. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand-up, presenter and co-host of We Saw That Andrew Mensah provides Simon with philosophical ways of making people try their best under the constant threat of humiliating public shame. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Canadian stand-up and actor Michelle Shaughnessy and Simon devise ways of bringing small talk, train delays and bothering women after dark to an end. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Actor and co-host of Rural Concerns Sunil Patel joins Simon to take aim at unruly public transport passengers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Victoria Wood Award winner Rob Copland and Simon work out plans to enlighten the populace and end the tyranny of food influencers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand-up, author and panel-based comedian Rhys James joins Simon to discuss how to rein in the chaos on the nation's walkways. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.