Gervase Kolmos
The Modern Phoenix
The Modern Phoenix (formerly "It's All Me")In a culture that values logic, urgency, perfection, and sameness, The Modern Phoenix walks a different path: one that honors her unique mind, body and soul. Between information overload, the demands of modern life, and lifetimes of conditioning and "shoulds", it can feel hard for a woman to know and listen to her own wants and needs. We're so busy caring and doing and anticipating and managing that we forget ourselves. We hope there's a better, more balanced, life-giving and feminine way to be a modern woman—to have regulated nervous systems, intuiti...
Autor
Gervase Kolmos
Kategorie
Podcast-Website
Neueste Folge
15. Dez 2025
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How my body helped me make up with my husband 16.12.2024 23:52
What if the key to breaking through relationship conflicts isn't in the talking but in the listening… to your body? In this episode, Gervase reveals how shifting from mind-based strategies to somatic and soul approaches (read: dropping out of the mind and into the body) transformed a weeks-long rupture in her marriage into a moment of deep connection and repair. Listen in as she shares her struggl...
Breaking the Cycle of Fear-Based Parenting with Wendy Snyder 02.12.2024 54:55
From threats and punishments to connection - this one goes out to the parents of strong-willed children. In today's episode, Gervase welcomes Wendy Snyder, certified parenting educator and family life coach, to discuss the power of positive, connection-based parenting. Together, they explore the challenges, myths, and opportunities of this parenting style, particularly with strong-willed children....
I have to say the right thing or they'll be mad 18.11.2024 13:17
In this episode, Gervase shines a light on the pervasive belief: "I have to say or do the right thing, or they'll be mad." Gervase explores how this belief can not only trap you in cycles of self-doubt, stress, and rumination but also leads to self-abandonment. Join her as she shares insights into how the mind can mask trauma with obsession, frustration, and the relentless need to "get it right."...
It's not okay for me to make mistakes 04.11.2024 17:59
This week, Gervase takes on a limiting belief that surfaces in the lives of many modern women: it's not okay to be wrong. Learn why this belief leads to fear, power struggles and a lack of authenticity in your life. You'll discover why ruminating and gaslighting are trauma-based activation responses, and how leaning into body wisdom and the practice of resourcing can give you exactly what you need...
Meet the Modern Phoenix 21.10.2024 21:23
Welcome to The Modern Phoenix Podcast ! Born from the ashes of the "It's All Me" podcast, The Modern Phoenix is here to guide, inspire, and empower you to rise into the truest, most powerful version of yourself. In this episode, Gervase shares the heart behind the podcast rebrand, what it means to be a "modern woman," and how the Phoenix archetype offers a powerful guide for personal evolution. Ke...
151: Why Permission is Where Healing Begins 07.10.2024 19:15
On this week's solo episode of the IAM podcast, Gervases seizes inspiration from a recent client interaction, discussing how patterns of disempowerment have left many women with the sneaky survival strategy of hyper-vigilance around the needs of others, and how permission, resource, and pleasure can allow us to bring more regulated versions of ourselves forward to meet life's initiations. Listen i...
150: PANDAS: Biggest Lessons Learned One Year Later 23.09.2024 40:29
This week on the IAM podcast, after a full year of navigating her daughter's PANDAS diagnosis,Gervase shares her lived experience of integrating relationship, resource, pleasure, and advocacy into her approach to life and her daughter's health. Listen in as Gervase discusses the importance of finding your "lighthouse" relationship in stressful times, how to choose your truth even when it goes agai...
149: Break the Burnout Cycle 09.09.2024 22:36
Join Gervase this week on the It's All Me podcast as she shares how important the practice of resourcing has become in her life, especially in times of stress, like her recent bout with Covid during "Back to School' season. Listen in as she shares why resourcing moment to moment is actually a regenerative practice that calms the nervous system, and how it differs from the typical American way of r...
148: Rejection is Redirection 26.08.2024 21:37
Welcome back to a new season of the It's All Me podcast! In this solo episode, Gervase shares her personal experiences of integrating a mindset that changed the trajectory of her life, and continues to help her along life's more recent rejections. Listen in as G redefines rejection as an opportunity for redirection, discusses how we can keep the energy flowing in the face of failure or disappointm...
147: Stop Trying to Fix Yourself; Your Body Has a Better Path 29.07.2024 27:59
This week on the It's All Me podcast, Gervase addresses the impact of going beyond the mind when it comes to healing. Listen in as she discusses the patterns that have led to a wave of traumatized nervous systems in modern society, and the risks we take when we focus on the problem rather than resourcing, regulation, and repair. Keep listening as G shares the power of somatic and subconscious heal...
146: Burning it all down…again and again and again with Jeannine Yoder (Audience favorite) 22.07.2024 59:43
This week on the It's All Me podcast, we are bringing back a much-loved episode with Jeannine Yoder (Kochuba). In this episode, Gervase invites us to sit down with fellow AMDA graduate and New York Times Featured Feminine Leadership & Business Coach Jeannine Kochuba. Gervase and Jeannine share their journeys of becoming the women they are today by embracing and healing trauma, letting go of patria...
145: Challenge vs Suffering: Rewiring our Brains for Curiosity and Pleasure 15.07.2024 21:33
This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase is dropping in with a solo episode on the difference between experiencing life's challenges and allowing ourselves to sit in a state of suffering. Sharing her thoughts on the internalized systems that make suffering and martyrdom mindsets normal, Gervase also shares her own personal experience of addressing the blueprint of suffering within her own body and ne...
144. How to Access More Pleasure as a High-Performing Woman 08.07.2024 32:34
On this week's solo episode of the I AM podcast, Gervase reminds high performing women - like you - of the transformative power of taking time to smell the metaphorical roses, and how it could actually be the most productive move you make in your entire life. Listen in as she shares what healing looks like when we pause and pendulate between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, disc...
143: Partnerships the Phoenix Way: How to Cultivate Compassion, Agency, and Pleasure 01.07.2024 34:09
On this solo episode of the It's All Me podcast, Gervase shares her personal insights on partnership, co-creating safety and trust within your relationship to ask for what you need, and the importance of resourcing and living a life you love as individuals as well as a couple. She shares her personal journey of navigating a 14 year marriage through smooth sailing and rough waters, how she and her...
142: The Path to Secure Attachment (Even If You're Anxious) with Carly Turner 24.06.2024 50:58
This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase sits down with Carly Turner, certified CBT & Somatic Attachment Therapist, as they discuss anxious attachment, how it impacts all areas of life, and Carly's personal path toward secure attachment. They dive into the possible roots of anxious attachment, and the importance of self-reflection, curiosity, and compassion along the journey to secure attachment. If...
141: Joy is a Really Good Reason (Replay) 17.06.2024 24:25
What is your relationship to joy? For a lot of modern women wearing multiple hats and feeling responsible for all sorts of projects and people, joy is the first thing they take off their list when life starts to feel too chaotic. On this episode of the It's All Me podcast, Gervase talks about reconnecting to joy without the 'shoulds' and shame, why doing the work to get to joy is worth having toug...
140: Pillow Talk: Reconnecting to Sensuality in Partnership with Sex Therapist Dr. Viviana 10.06.2024 45:05
This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase reintroduces relationship and sex therapist Dr. Viviana, who shares how she uses her 20 years of experience to help couples cultivate an underlying current of sensuality in their relationships. Gervase and Dr. Viviana discuss ways to create a sexy environment outside of the bedroom, why some of us struggle with activating our sexuality, and how the right dance...
139: The Black Sheep's Journey: Understanding Generational Trauma with Nick Werber 03.06.2024 1:10:31
This week on the podcast, Gervase introduces us to her mentor Nick Werber from the Focalizing Institute, as they discuss generational trauma patterns and how they can shape our childhood, adulthood, and even influence parenting practices. Nick shares specifically how family dynamics create outsider roles like the scapegoat and black sheep of the family and why we need these nonconformists. Listen...
138: Creating Safety, Trust AND Boundaries with Your Kids with Destini Davis and Kiva Schuler 28.05.2024 50:19
Join G and her guests Destini and Kiva this week on the IAM podcast as they have an in-depth discussion about peaceful parenting and the work necessary to make it a reality. Listen in as they discuss how the trending 'doormat' version of peaceful parenting being highlighted on social media can actually be harmful to your child, why it's vital to start with your own behavior and beliefs as a parent...
137: It's Not Okay, And I'm Okay 20.05.2024 25:46
In this week's solo episode of the It's All Me podcast, Gervase walks us through her lived experience of resourcing and holding space for the duality of being okay in the midst of chaos or stress without shame or blame. Listen in as she talks about acknowledging the range of your experience by feeling your feelings fully without judgment, why you don't need to skip to the silver lining, and how to...
136: Self Regulation Is My Family's Way Of Life. Here's Why 13.05.2024 31:36
On this week's solo episode of the It's All Me podcast, Gervase discusses how she reverse-engineered bad parenting advice and used it as inspiration for her family's practice of self-regulation. Listen in as she shares how we can navigate the challenges and lies that we've been sold by modern Mother Culture, why it's vital that you honor your own nervous system, and some tangible, practical ways s...
135: How to Ask For What You Want (at Home) Pt 2 06.05.2024 43:11
In this second half of a two-part series, Gervase shines a light on how to get what you want at home. Using two highly common archetypes of women who aren't currently getting their wants or needs met in the home, Gervase shares why this isn't "just the way it is" and how you can take back your agency and embrace your power to evolve your life into a reflection of who you are on the inside. Listen...
134: Understanding Childhood Trauma that Doesn't Feel Like Trauma with Chelsea Green (replay) 29.04.2024 1:09:24
In this replay from 2021, Gervase is getting publicly therapized with soulmate and licensed professional counselor Chelsea Green. Chelsea speaks such wisdom about how the systems that we are surrounded by as children, translate into our adult life. The conversation is sprinkled with mic drop moment after mic drop moment from the choices that we face everyday to how we can calibrate our roles in th...
133: How to Ask For What You Want (at Work) Pt 1 22.04.2024 38:04
In a masterclass-style solo episode this week, Gervase dives into how to ask for what you want at your place of work. Listen in as she discusses the three main beliefs of a high-performing woman who isn't getting what she wants, the role of our sympathetic nervous system, the impact of the company you keep, what could be keeping you in a martyr mindset, and how to decipher if these beliefs are ste...
132: Instead of Being Selfless, Be Your Fullest Self 15.04.2024 30:43
This week on the It's All Me podcast, Gervase shares a client-inspired discussion about selflessness and the lies we've been fed that have led us into martyrdom, victimhood, and insecurity. Listen in as she sifts through where the feelings of guilt, shame, and the "I don't get to have that" mentality come from, the work she and her clients are doing to hold the internal line of authenticity, and h...
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